Bidils the Quickhand, here  

You say, 'Hail, Bidils the Quickhand, here'

Bidils the Quickhand, here says, 'Hello! Isn't this exciting? I've been plotting this heist for most of my life. All I need from you is to be a [witness] to my greatness. And when we're done, we can all revel in my success and fame! Or, if perhaps you might feel shame in the presence of such a great person as myself, I will allow you to [leave].'

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Saying 'witness' teleports you to the event room.

Saying 'leave' makes you leave the instance.