Soracloud  

Soracloud, the Beer Savant of OoT. Joined Allakhazam Online Community Dec 22nd 2004 Dinged his 10,000 Post August 31st 2007 I am just a Beer Geek with a lot of posts which contains his Top 10 Beers of all Time

This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about...BEER

Soracloud is an avid fan of Craft Beer with a portfolio (and bottle collection) of over 280 different beers, he is determined to bring down big business beer from the inside. It is also a dream of his to one day establish a beer bar on the Shores of New Jersey. He has been a resident of the Jersey Coastline community all his life and has seen what tourism, greedy owners and lack of imagination can do to the bar scene. Surrounded by cookie cutter "Taverns," knock off "Irish Pubs" and Trendy hipster Lounges, he has had enough. Its nearly impossible to find a good beer on tap or in bottle when out on a night on the town. He though is not alone. A dedicated following of real beer lovers fight side by side with him to one day triumph over piss beer and shit bars. Will you join the fight? Or will you sit back and watch big business ruin beer in America?

Beer Quotes

No matter what the discussion, its always better with a craft beer!

Respect Beer

Down with the swill that is Macro Beer!

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~Benjamin Franklin

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. ~Frank Zappa

He was a wise man who invented beer. ~Plato

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. ~Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. ~Dean Martin

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. ~W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~W.C. Fields

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. ~Anonymous

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ~Oscar Wilde

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. ~Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? ~Stephen Wright

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. ~Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. ~Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ~Dave Barry

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout. ~(Unknown)

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. ~Homer Simpson

Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson

Beer Toasts

Hundert Jahre sollst du leben und dich freuen, und dann noch ein extra Jahr - zum Bereuen. Darauf erhebe ich mein Glas: Prost! May you live to be a hundred years, With one extra year to repent. To that I raise my glass: Cheers!

Genieße das Leben ständig! Du bist länger tot als lebendig! Constantly enjoy life! You're longer dead than alive!

May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

Here's a toast to your enemies' enemies!

Here's to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer—and another one!

Beer-Thirty

Beer-thirty is a time table system developed by Soracloud to assist those who are confused about when its an appropriate time to begin drinking. Beer-thirty focuses around the morning/early afternoon hours. Below you will see times, the time noted is the time you may commence drinking, if you miss that time after 30 minutes, you must wait until the next designated one comes around.

7:30AM- Designated solely to special occasions, parades, sporting events, holidays, etc. Its not wise to begin a normal Saturday, beer wise, this early. 8:30AM- This is a time designated to Beer Breakfast*. The preferred styles are Stout of Porter. Oatmeal Stouts/Milk Stouts/Coffee Porter are a best bet. 10:30AM - This is for someone who is looking to get a little extra sleep before they begin their day, same styles as above applies 12:30PM- The original Beer Thirty. From this time forth you may commence the imbibing. Any style of your choice.

  • Starting the day with a Stout or Porter is a wise decision. They tend to go well with a cup of coffee and pastries. Beer in cereal is NOT an acceptable Beer breakfast. Its a cry for attention from Frat Boys and mouth-breathers.

Examples to help you understand more about Beer-thirty:

  • 8:16AM- Do not go for that morning Stout. Take the additional 14 minutes; brew some coffee, take a shower and wait till 8:30AM
  • 8:33AM- By all means, grab a Stout and fix yourself something to eat.
  • 8:57AM- You are cutting it close. Grab yourself a Porter or Stout.
  • 9:15AM- What 8:30AM was too early Nancy? Do some chores, watch the news then come back at 10:30AM

The progression of styles; Make your first 1-3 Pints some Stouts if early in the morning. If you begin at around 10:30AM try a Porter or two and If you started later around 12:30PM feel free to begin with Pale Ales, Lagers, etc.

Exceptions: 1) If you have been up all night and need a Brew before hitting the sack or going for another bender, feel free to enjoy any style at anytime. You earned it soldier, you have carte blanche. 2) On an Airplane, or jumping through a time zone, feel free to enjoy any style at any time. Time Zones and Airplanes can cause riffs in the Beer-thirty Time Table which may lead to drinking too early when you were right on time 12 minutes ago and vice versa.

Good Breweries Victory Brewing - Downingtown PA Dogfish Head- Rehoboth Beach DE Left Hand Brewing- Longmont CO Rogue Brewing- Newport OR Founders Brewing- Grand Rapids MI Three Floyd's Brewing- Munster IN Brooklyn Brewing- Brooklyn NY Tröegs Brewing- Harrisburg PA Triumph Brewing- Various NJ PA Stone Brewing- Escondido CA Flying Dog Brewing- Denver CO Lagunitas Brewing- Petaluma CA North Coast Brewing- Fort Bragg CA

This is just a small sampling of Good Breweries in the good ol USA. Want to find something local? Looking to Travel for some great Beer? Check out The World Renowned BeerAdvocate.com Beerfly Directory

Who is the Real Soracloud?

Good question! Well to know Soracloud, it is important to know that the Real Soracloud is nothing without his wife. She will always be a part of him.

Their Story. He was 23 she was 27 they met while he was doing promotions for a beer distributor. The two did not hit it off at first, he thought she was a bitch and she thought he wanted the little blonde surfer chick. They come to find out just how wrong they were. They start seeing more and more of each other out on the town, exchanging more and more words at each meeting. Soracloud realizes, as he put it so eloquently, this chick rocks and finally builds up the moxie and asks her out on a date. Danielle, who at this point is thinking, he is so cute with his spikey hair accepts. Soracloud is anxious as that day approaches, he gets up extra early, takes him time getting all snazed up and awaits his beauty to knock on the door.

Well the two hit it off immediately, its gone way beyond simple rocking and spikey hair. It had a lot of folks wondering how two people can meet and click so well. They literally spent everyday together, three months later Soracloud held Danielle in his arms and told her he loved her. They shared their first I Love you Kiss Soracloud thought to himself All is right in the world. Those two love birds moved in together shortly after and life was great! Danielle had started her career on Wall Street and Soracloud well, he works, he hasn't found a career yet. Anyway, fast forward to May of 2007 Danielle made him a better man and the two tied the knot.

They reside together with two parakeets Hops & Chloe and two cats Munchkin and Barley. Barley and Hops are considered Soracloud's pets while Chloe and Munchkin are considered Danielle's. Regardless, they share the same love for all and until the two have actual children these four will have to do.

In their free time, Soracloud and Danielle enjoy watching movies, bike riding, taking walks, shopping (well Danielle does) video games (well Soracloud does) and hanging with their friends. On a typical Saturday afternoon to find Soracloud you need not go any farther then the Tiki Bar in his backyard. There you will find him in the company of friends, music and some delicious beer.

Soracloud is an easy guy to get along with but has some pet peeves, some so bad they put him in a Rant Trance where he losses sense of time and control of tongue. The things that set him off:

  • People with too much money, not enough brains
  • People with no money, no brains
  • Paris Hilton
  • Macro Beer
  • Macro Beer Salesman
  • Ghetto Thug Creatures
  • White Trash
  • White Trash when they get their dirty hands on technology
  • Pick Up Trucks
  • Soccer Moms
  • Folks who believe anything they read or watch
  • Guidos who come to our beach towns and act like primates
  • Any and all wastes sperm from the landfill that is Staten island NY, may you all burn if a fuc-

As you can see, he can get a little heated at times and needs to take a breather.

This page last modified 2007-10-15 15:07:53.