I've been watching many of Louis Theroux' documentaries including those about infomercials, the west baptero church, *****, gurus, and paedophile facilities. A theme that struck a chord with me was the prevalence of what I saw as disingenuity. In the paedophile documentary this took the form of a mutual decision to distrust. Residents were not entirely forthcoming with their desires and crimes, while staffers were unrealistic about residents prospects for rehabilitation, release, and their own personal disgust. The ***** and gurus tackled the angle of willing self-deception. The infomercial documentary took an opposing look at salesman engaging in (not directly malicious) guile and manipulation.
I lie, and about some pretty significant personal details as well. I don't like to lie. I reconcile that hypocrisy with the thought that I don't believe a significant majority of the people I'd care about would be understanding to a reasonable minimum of certain truths, and that I'm actively choosing to avoid those consequences. Perhaps that is the same for most people, if I've articulated the idea correctly.
But I find untruthfulness to be truly alien. I don't believe people have a right to privacy. I'd want to live in a metaphorical glass house, but I just don't want to be the only one doing so. I think everyone would benefit both individually and as a group to do so. I realize how incredibly naive that is to say, yet I feel it's something very worthy strive for.
What is honesty and truth to you?
How do you feel about lying?Follow
Depends on the reason.
Privacy is cool.
Telling a really ingenious lie off the cuff can be a lot of fun.
Aliekber
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Post in /K/ where the orbital laser system is now online.
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Sandinmygum the Stupendous wrote:
Human (?) females look ugly.
That said, my basic stance is that if someone has no right to ask me something and refusal to tell would be the same as giving up information (e.g. "Are you sleeping with my daughter?" "I refuse to answer that question" will be taken 9 times out of 10 as "I'm sleeping with your daughter"), or if I can be socially expected to tell a falsehood (e.g. "No, you don't look fat at all"), then I have no problem with lying. I tend to be naively honest by default, but years of socialization have ingrained (and are still in the process of ingraining) when I should distort or fabricate the truth.
Also, sometimes I lie because people are dumb and I don't want to have to bother to explain the (much more complex/nuanced) truth.
Also, sometimes I lie because people are dumb and I don't want to have to bother to explain the (much more complex/nuanced) truth.
Aliekber
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Sandinmygum the Stupendous wrote:
Human (?) females look ugly.
I lie. Often.
I tell people what they want to hear. I avoid conflict when it is unnecessary to instigate it. I agree with the right-wing nut at work because it's easier than arguing when there's no hope of either of us changing our minds. I lie to customers. I tell them their ideas are great. I tell them their "funny story" is hilarious. I tell family that I totally wouldn't mind doing helpful things that I hate doing. I lie to my neighbor because I have to live next to him.
I'm not sure there's a single person that I've never lied to. And while there are many things (mostly STEM-related) in which there are rock-solid truths, in many cases in inter-personal communication, truths and half-truths are fluid and ever-changing. Not every conflict has to be presented and analyzed and debated and resolved. In many cases, it's likely healthier to tell your white lies, avoid the conflict altogether, and move on with the important things in your life. To have everyone "live in glass houses" means you have to have everyone be tolerant of each others' well, everything. Because otherwise, you're having a hundred meaningless conflicts where it's just unnecessary to waste the energy to resolve them.
So I lie. Often. And I'm at peace with it; It's very easy. The lies I tell benefit myself and the people around me. I go along to get along in many cases. Oh, I'll not shy away from conflict when it's something important to me, but I pick and choose my spots. Amusingly enough, this makes my arguments appear to have more weight than they would if I argued over every single difference I have with someone. Someone I normally don't have conflict with will pay more heed to me when I am vocal about an issue simply because I don't normally argue. For me, this is more important than being transparent and openly disagreeing with any number of minutiae I may have issue with.
I tell people what they want to hear. I avoid conflict when it is unnecessary to instigate it. I agree with the right-wing nut at work because it's easier than arguing when there's no hope of either of us changing our minds. I lie to customers. I tell them their ideas are great. I tell them their "funny story" is hilarious. I tell family that I totally wouldn't mind doing helpful things that I hate doing. I lie to my neighbor because I have to live next to him.
I'm not sure there's a single person that I've never lied to. And while there are many things (mostly STEM-related) in which there are rock-solid truths, in many cases in inter-personal communication, truths and half-truths are fluid and ever-changing. Not every conflict has to be presented and analyzed and debated and resolved. In many cases, it's likely healthier to tell your white lies, avoid the conflict altogether, and move on with the important things in your life. To have everyone "live in glass houses" means you have to have everyone be tolerant of each others' well, everything. Because otherwise, you're having a hundred meaningless conflicts where it's just unnecessary to waste the energy to resolve them.
So I lie. Often. And I'm at peace with it; It's very easy. The lies I tell benefit myself and the people around me. I go along to get along in many cases. Oh, I'll not shy away from conflict when it's something important to me, but I pick and choose my spots. Amusingly enough, this makes my arguments appear to have more weight than they would if I argued over every single difference I have with someone. Someone I normally don't have conflict with will pay more heed to me when I am vocal about an issue simply because I don't normally argue. For me, this is more important than being transparent and openly disagreeing with any number of minutiae I may have issue with.
Spoonless wrote:
I lie. Often.
(other stuff).
(other stuff).
Pretty much sums up my feelings. Thankfully I don't have to do it as often as Spoonless implies (due to working in a science lab and not really interacting with nutjobs on a regular basis), but if I were in his position I'm pretty sure I'd do the same. Even though I think homophobes and religious fanatics are crazy and should probably kill themselves, it's just not worth the energy to argue about it because some random stranger is most likely not going to change their minds (and in fact, probably strengthen their misguided beliefs).
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Yeah, pretty much what Spoonless said. Path of least resistance, **************
And arguments really do seem to mean more when you pick and choose your fights.
And arguments really do seem to mean more when you pick and choose your fights.
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