The two samurai eased back into their stances. One calm and serene; the other sweating profusely. Almost a minute they faced each other, neither of them blinking. The breeze made the tall grass flow across the plains; Noon sunlight placed neither warrior at a disadvantage.
Once the younger man had relaxed his breathing, his elder struck; Quite easily, the young man was able to ward off the first strike.
Continuing with his momentum, the old man swung a vertical cleave; Hoping to put his opponent off balance, the young man applied all his strength in an upward parry.
As the old man was forced to the ground, his opposition was granted a brief second to grin. Much promise was anticipated on this day. As the old man was helped up by his pupil, a sudden tremor shook them both off their feet.
That folks, is the result of a baked potato and a fried burrito colliding at terminal velocity off the coast of Mexico.
Edited, Sep 12th 2009 2:11pm by Kirby
Kirby's Collection of Short StoriesFollow
Nick looked over at the alarm clock from the cozy and much desired warmth of his bed. "2:42 AM", was displayed.
Unable to keep it inside, he let out a deep sigh. Though it was a great night out, he really only cared about the other human being in the room. Sarah. That was her name. So common.. yet it matched the golden brown of her hair, the hazel eyes that he could get lost in, and the gentle yet quirky laugh of hers.
He seemed lost in his own thoughts, but only for a moment. As he noticed the "42" change into a "43", Nick glanced away, towards the blank and ever so quiet television set. Through the reflection of the TV, he noticed her approaching from the washroom.
Ever so smoothly, Sarah grasped the young man's shoulders, caressing his body with a tender touch. Goosebumps rose on their skin, almost in unison. For Nick, this all seemed to be a dream. A dream, wherein he could feel the smallest traces of sensation on his body. Sarah was experienced in her endeavors, but that didn't prevent the feeling she always got.
For a second, you could only hear the soft sighs and exclamations of other couples in the two star motel. Lost in each other's gaze, everything else seemed insignificant.
As if to reenact the sudden flash of a gun muzzle, the two lovers entered a fierce kiss. All else in the world was lost. It wasn't until Sarah lifted her head up from Nick's face that the connection was made. Nick, aged 19, was gazing up into the ceiling, no movement in his glazed-over eyes. Sarah took a moment to take it in.
Screaming could be heard from the room for nearly a minute; None of the other hundred occupants moved an inch.
Interrogating the girl in the days afterward was impossible. All she could say was, "Baked potato.. baked.. potato"
The only evidence they found in the boy's dilapidated car was a half eaten fried burrito.
Unable to keep it inside, he let out a deep sigh. Though it was a great night out, he really only cared about the other human being in the room. Sarah. That was her name. So common.. yet it matched the golden brown of her hair, the hazel eyes that he could get lost in, and the gentle yet quirky laugh of hers.
He seemed lost in his own thoughts, but only for a moment. As he noticed the "42" change into a "43", Nick glanced away, towards the blank and ever so quiet television set. Through the reflection of the TV, he noticed her approaching from the washroom.
Ever so smoothly, Sarah grasped the young man's shoulders, caressing his body with a tender touch. Goosebumps rose on their skin, almost in unison. For Nick, this all seemed to be a dream. A dream, wherein he could feel the smallest traces of sensation on his body. Sarah was experienced in her endeavors, but that didn't prevent the feeling she always got.
For a second, you could only hear the soft sighs and exclamations of other couples in the two star motel. Lost in each other's gaze, everything else seemed insignificant.
As if to reenact the sudden flash of a gun muzzle, the two lovers entered a fierce kiss. All else in the world was lost. It wasn't until Sarah lifted her head up from Nick's face that the connection was made. Nick, aged 19, was gazing up into the ceiling, no movement in his glazed-over eyes. Sarah took a moment to take it in.
Screaming could be heard from the room for nearly a minute; None of the other hundred occupants moved an inch.
Interrogating the girl in the days afterward was impossible. All she could say was, "Baked potato.. baked.. potato"
The only evidence they found in the boy's dilapidated car was a half eaten fried burrito.
Timelordwho is holding a sign with the words "Just as planned."
Kirby contemplated waving goodbye to his parents from the second floor windows of the International Airport. As they drove away amidst the angry honking of taxi drivers, Kirby's sister could be seen waving from the back window. He had his mind elsewhere.
Unable to retrieve a vital piece of information that he had forgotten, Kirby heaved a sleep-deprived sigh. Where was it he was going again? It seemed funny that he could not remember the destination of the flight he had booked himself. Funny, and a little sad.
Samira looked down at Kavekk, unable to think of a suitable reward for her minion's good behaviour.
"How about I let you pet Mr. Winky. Hm?"
Kavekk shook his head, no.
"Are you scared of Mr. Winky? Kavekk?"
Kavekk shook his head, no.
"Then what is it?"
In a slow and perfectly articulate voice, Kavekk replied, "I am Mr. Winky."
boywithoutaspoon stoked the flames in the fireplace, ever present of the fact that he was being watched.
"I don't have time for this bullsh*t", croaked the aged man in the corner.
Silence was his response.
The old man stopped expecting an answer when boywithoutaspoon continued stirring the flames for nearly a minute.
Fiery red poker in hand, "I bet you have time for THIS!"
GwynapNud heard a loud noise coming from a nearby alley as she walked past carrying shopping bags. Curious, she approached the door marked with a single hammer painting. Gwyn stood there for several long seconds before she heard the scraping of metal on stone.
Quietly opening the door, she discovered a man dragging a body across the cavernous room, a metal rod in his hand. She was sickened to notice that blood was trailing the two men, and that the fireplace poker was covered in blood.
Unable to keep herself quiet, Gwyn let out a sharp gasp, as well as dropping her bag of fruits and vegetables.
Nilatai noticed the door to his workplace slightly ajar, and found it a little disturbing. Walking a bit faster, he reached the door and pulled out his two rubber mallets.
Peeking into the main entrance, he found a woman standing frighteningly still, and a co-worker facing her. It took Nilatai a moment, but he noticed the blood, the unconscious old man, and the metal poker in Spoonless' hand.
"boywithoutaspoon.. it's ok. Put the poker down, and stay where you are." said Nilatai in a forced calm voice.
Turning around quickly, the young woman let out a gasp, and ran to the safety of the newcomer's embrace.
Soracloud surveyed the saloon with an experienced eye. Cards were dealt, drinks were replenished; murmurs and drunken rambling provided a near constant source of amusement. Girls were present on nearly every man's arm.
Not on Him. That conniving sonuvabitch had Her with Him. You could not refer to Her as a girl, to do so was both an insult and a crime to Soracloud.
"That mutha@#%^a's gonna pay."
CUT!--
Brownduck had it coming to him. You could see it in the clerk's eyes. From the way he expertly took down the blonde haired man standing at the till, you could tell he was a professional. Brownduck cooly extended his right hand to the clerk behind the counter, not making any effort to conceal his "guns". "Check this for me, will ya?" said Brownduck, handing his ticket to the clerk.
"Y-you won 18 million dollars, s-sir!"
Bijou, as midnight-shift cashier of the only convenience store open 24/7, was sketching random thoughts out onto his pad of paper. It happened so fast, he was nowhere near the silent alarm when he heard a heavy clunk on the counter.
"Hey. Hey you." *Bijou looks up frantically at the customer* "Yeah, you. I want all the cash you have in that cash register."
Too scared to talk, Bijou responds with a nervous nod. Fumbling with the password and key to open the register, he hopes to God that the robber is a patient man.
"Hurry the @#%^ up. I have this gun for a reason." Said the thief, gesturing at the object in his coat pocket.
Finally able to open the register, Bijou begins handing the cash into the blonde man's open hands.
"Freeze." says a new voice. Startled at the newcomer, Bijou drops the handful of 20's he was transferring to the crook; The robber himself is shocked at the suddenness of the other man's approach.
Before the crook could even pull out his gun, much less move a finger, the newcomer deftly struck out at the thief's neck.
Down in one blow, the crook is hunched over on the floor, cash still clamped in his hands.
Annabella, known for her "crimson smile", or so she liked to call it, was on her way to the salon. Everything was going fine this morning. It was what you'd call a perfect day. Once at the counter, that's when things took a turn for the worse.
"Hi,"
, "I have an appointment for 2:30." said Anna with a motherly voice.
"Oh, sh*t--"
"That's not what I wanted to hear.." said Anna, trying hard to keep the smile on her face.
"I'm terribly sorry miss, I thought you weren't coming today. So I booked someone else for your slot.."
"Uh, why.."
, "why, would you do that?" was all Anna could say.
"I-- I read on zam.com, in Kirby's sig It should be implied whenever I post, that Annabella is resting in peace."
"That idiot.." said Anna, almost in a low growl.
"I can book you for sometime next week?.." said the timid clerk.
"RAGE!!" was the only discernible word that could be heard that morning.
Barkingturtle scratched his beard, picking at the scar he earned in a bar fight. Chickens could be heard in the distance, cows in the immediate area. Not only did he forget to grab his scythe, but he remembered the thing she said that morning.
"I like cheese."
As if to say "lol, @#%^ing loser", the cow said "lol, @#%^ing loser" as Barkingturtle trudged by.
Not today. Not today. Gripping the scythe firmly, Barkingturtle swung in even strokes through the wheat field.
He knew not how long he was outside, but when he returned, his sycthe was covered in a thick layer of crusted blood.
"Odd." was all he could say.
"Odd. I asked you NOT to harvest today." said Guenny.
"It just felt right, ya know?"
"I know honey, I know." And they embraced in a tender hug.
TirithRR was a man of few words. When things went south, he got things done. When everyone else dove for cover, he stood his ground.
TirithRR never took "No" for an answer. Not on this day. This day we FIGHT.
"You see? I brought more warriors than you did." was said in white text.
"Psh, I am the Last Samurai they needed-- BRB" while typed immediatley after TirithRR, could not be considered a reply.
Nothing but results mattered to TirithRR. Cold hard facts, in the face of high speed flying objects if need be.
TirithRR was as manly as a man could get, without becoming a fleshy blob with no discernable features.
GrowlingBunny considered her words wisely. These words would shift the course of the battle. These words had need for intensity, and power of will. Clearing her throat, inhaling deeply, and elevating her mic; she spoke.
"The weakness in the plans we procured, have revealed a 2 meter wide shaft. It is through this shaft that you will insert your proton torpedos. This, and only this plan of action will result in victory, any questions?"
Silence in the room seemed to make her words that much greater.
A raised hand, "Um. you do know how wrong that sounded right?"
Belkira offered her coworkers the cookies she baked in the late hours of the previous evening. Accepting the snack with a smile, the lady in the adjacent cubicle said her thanks. Her boss handed her the morning newspaper along with news of a pay increase next week.
Something wasn't right. The smell of booze in the air, the rush of wind on the back of her neck.
Awakening with a sudden jerk, Belkira let out a sigh of relief.
"@#%^ing nightmare."
Mindel opened her gift, unsure of the contents after briefly shaking the well-wrapped box. The ribbon seemed to go on forever, the suspense was killing her. It was only after removing the tissues and bubble wrap did she have an inkling of what it was she was holding. A time bomb. Fan-@#%^ing-tastic.
"So much for my evening plans."
Siralin wanted nothing else but to arrive home safely after a wild night out. The relative silence of the taxi was the perfect environment to relieve pounding headaches. It was in this moment, firmly massaging his head, that Siralin noticed the faint smell of something not quite right.
"Excuse me, do you smell something?" he inquired.
"I do not speak any english." replied the cab driver.
"Uh, but you spoke perfect english just now."
"No, only that sentence and this sentence explaining it." said the driver with a grin.
In his drunken state, Siralin decided to let it go. Returning to his spot against the window, he noticed three things happen simultaneously.
One: He was no longer traveling horizontally.
Two: Bright flashes of light, blinding him utterly.
Three: The sound of jets overhead, very close, and very loud.
By the time the taxi landed back on the ground, two occupants were dead. The third was calmly situated in the glove compartment.
Sweetums lifted the cover on the rice cooker, feeling the cloud of steam rising from the plain white rice. Replacing the cover, she took a step back to oversee the rest of the kitchen and its handful of occupants. Orders received from the servers were starting to pile up. Chefs began to sweat, fretting that the eyes watching them would notice something out of place.
Sweetums liked her job. The pay was not as much as she'd hoped, but that would be changing in short order. The hours were reasonable, if not consistent.
Yep. Good. Splendid even.
As she watched a cook preparing a fried burrito, a sudden transformation took place in her brain. As if a bomb went off in her skull, she leapt for the fried burrito and sprinted towards the exit. Those sly @#%^ers. Thinking they could get away with murder.
It was only when she reached the forensics lab that she slowed her pace, and stood for a moment to collect her thoughs and her breath. She got them good.
Catt decided that he wouldn't be drinking any more alcohol now that he was in college. It seemed plausible that he might not achieve the grades he hoped for under the influence. Seemed so anyway.
Now that he was actually attending his classes, the thought of a cold beer in the afternoon set his mouth watering. Surely it wouldn't hurt to have just one?
Walking home from the liqour store, Catt waved at fellow classmates; he even invited them over for dinner. Tonight would be fun. Stuffed with the finest steaks a college student could buy, the small group sat in the living room where a hockey game was displayed on the TV.
Betcha can't eat just one. Betcha can't eat just one.
"Shut up." Catt growled.
His confused friends exchanged glances before muttering "Uh, we didn't say anything."
"Oh, not you." said Catt, "that damn monkey in my closet is being a *****."
Failzor sniffs hesitantly at the trail of blood. Discovering the scent of a seal, he swiftly makes his way towards the surface, towards a young seal pup. Following the scent leads to a dead end. He is now lost in the streets of Chicago. Unable to comprehend the sudden shift from shark to man, he employs the same tactics of the hunt.
It is on Mars that SNARF SNARF--
AshOnMyTomatoes unwittingly pressed the wrong button at his work station. This was concluded with 2 weeks suspension without pay. Ash pressed the button again, swearing it was a mistake, which was result in the immediate loss of his job.
On the third press of this button, Ash knowingly set loose the evils of the world onto humanity. Neon clothing is BACK..
DUN DUN DUHHHHNNNN
Turin could not believe his eyes. It took alot to surprise a man who had seen everything the world had to offer; Sheer shock ran through his mind. How could a simple walk for some fresh air result in the sight of neon clothing making its comeback into society?
NixNot posted in his daily blog and took another sip of coffee.
"Phone's ringin'", said his boss.
"Hm?"
"Oh. OH." *Scrambling for phone* "Hello there, how can I help you?"
"Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the set of Sesame Street, interested?"
"Umm. I think you have the wrong number, sir." said NixNot in a somewhat confused tone.
"Hm? Nope. I want you to come with me."
*Boss and NixNot exchange a flurry of hand gestures and facial expressions*
"Yeah ok. Come pick me up in 30mins." said NixNot.
*NixNot whispers* "See? He @#%^ing wants to take me somewhere."
*Boss demonstrates a series of complex motions that boil down to NixNot's death*
30 minutes later, NixNot is in the passenger seat of a Ford Mustang, contemplating that Death-By-Boss might not have been any worse.
Arriving on the set of Sesame Street, NixNot greets the puppets and their actors.
Still wondering what the @#%^ he's doing in such a place, NixNot decides to head towards the exit.
*Big Bird divebombs NixNot*
*Scene is filled with blood and feathers*
UglySasquatch was growing tired of the stakeout. Yawning deeply into his hand, he stood up in the surveillance van to stretch his arms and back. He was beginning to think nothing was going to happen when a ring tone scared the sh*t out of him. Calming himself, he secured the headphones on his head, and listened to the conversation between friends. They talked about girlfriends, that night out last weekend and their work. It wasn't until a sharp clang was heard, did Ugly suspect anything.
Ugly gave a signal to the other agent in the vehicle, who responded with a quick nod.
A quick yelp was heard from the house, then silence.
"I'll bet you that was Ikkian." Ugly murmured to his partner.
Iamadam just finished his dinner, when he heard his cell phone ringing from his bedroom. He never got bored of the Futurama theme ring tone, never. Quickly walking into the room, he felt an odd sensation. Shrugging it off, he answered the phone.
It wasn't until he was in deep discussion with his friend that he heard a sharp, resounding clang from the direction of the kitchen.
"What was that?" could be heard from the speaker on Iamadam's cell.
Adam took a long second to calm himself before replying in a whisper, "I'm not sure. I'll call you back."
Standing at Adam's front door, Ikkian was holding what appeared to be a weapon.
The silenced shots erupted from the muzzle of the pistol, followed by a quick crunching noise as Adam's fist struck it's target.
LobsterJohnson entered the theater, and scanned the available seats, unaware that someone was looking down on him from the top row. Finding a suitable spot near the middle of the second highest row, LJ ensured his popcorn was firmly in his left hand, and began the hike up. Having no particular interest in the other movie goers, he swiftly made it to his seat. After sitting down and placing his soft drink in the cup holder, LJ took a moment to glance behind him.
He felt kinda bad that the person directly behind him could no longer see the screen without leaning to the side.
Out of seemingly nowhere, a man in the top row said, "Hey you can sit next to me if you want."
"Uh, sure." said LJ. He didn't particularly mind moving, and he might even have someone to share little tidbits of conversation with.
Out of the corner of his eye, LJ saw a flash of yellowish light.
"Hey, did you see that?" said LJ.
"See what? The movie's about to start." said the man next to him.
Allegory showed an interest in the newcomer. He seemed very tall, even from the vantage point Allegory had in the upper section. The tall man looked very sure of himself, as if he'd been here countless times before. Unlike Allegory, the big man displayed no interest in others around him. How odd.
He noticed the man look behind, and it seemed to Allegory that the large man was uncomfortable. Glancing over at the occupant behind the big guy, Allegory discovered the reason.
"Hey, you can sit next to me if you want."
"Uh, sure." said the big man.
Humans sure are curious creatures. With barely a moment of effort, Allegory beamed himself up.
Timelordwho appeared on screen momentarily to say "What's the difference between first and second degree murder?"
With the audience contemplating the answer, TLW says "See above."
Aripyanfar loosened the cap on a jar of hot salsa, as she listened to the party next door. In rhythm to the song "Right Round", she wandered over to the pantry in search of the half-finished bag of Tostitos. Several times that night, Ari considered heading next door to join in. Each time she had that thought, she dismissed it on the grounds that I have a job interview tomorrow...
Dipping the crunchy chips into the red and green sea of salsa, Ari's thoughts drifted. Childhood memories, mistakes she had made, fun times with friends; they all seemed so distant.
*Knock-knock-knock*
Snapping back into the present, Ari fumbled with the chips and salsa, hiding them out of plain sight. Quickly checking her hair in the mirror, she opened her front door.
Standing surprisingly still for someone whose face clearly showed signs of alcohol and drug use, the young man handed her an envelope. She took it with little force, and glanced at the front which was labeled with her name.
Stepping away from the entrance of her house, the man gave Ari a quick smirk, then walked briskly back to the party.
Ari briefly mirrored the smirk, ripped open the envelope and emptied the contents into her palm; A pill.
"Why not." she breathed.
Kalivha opens the door into the bar, scanning the crowd for RJ. Randomly appearing behind her, remorajunbao kicks her to the moon where they live happily ever after.
Flixa wondered if he was the only one who witnessed what he had seen. Not sure if it was just alcohol-enhanced imagination, or the superhuman ability to kick someone into the air, let alone to the moon.
Looking derisively at the bottle of rum in his hand, he tosses it aside and calls it an early night.
Pensieve, unable to comprehend the sheer awesome of Touhou, is forced into the 4th dimension. It is through this portal on Zam.com that he reveals the inner workings of another species called "Hume". Although he has long resigned himself to living in another world, circumstances in this world come into fruition in 2012. It is at this time that all of humanity is absorbed into the 5th dimension, where the 4th dimension resides.
Bah, my imagination has its limits. For you who I don't know too well or I just got bored making up stories, I'll just list you:
Jophiel, Nobby, Nexa, Usagi, Kaolian, NazgulSHD, Overburn, MojoVIII, Tailmon, Dyadem, Paskil, Codyy, MentalFrog, Kaelesh, Kaain, Punkfloyd, niobia, Darqflame, Pikko, Redphoenixxx, eiran, SWM, Zackary, Galkaman, Xsarus, popcornshowers, zepoodle, gbaji, smasharoo, stupid monkey, Goggy, Doug.
Again, sorry if I didn't make a story about/including you, but you can PFORU anyway :D
Edited, Jun 2nd 2009 3:52pm by Kirby
Kirby contemplated waving goodbye to his parents from the second floor windows of the International Airport. As they drove away amidst the angry honking of taxi drivers, Kirby's sister could be seen waving from the back window. He had his mind elsewhere.
Unable to retrieve a vital piece of information that he had forgotten, Kirby heaved a sleep-deprived sigh. Where was it he was going again? It seemed funny that he could not remember the destination of the flight he had booked himself. Funny, and a little sad.
Samira looked down at Kavekk, unable to think of a suitable reward for her minion's good behaviour.
"How about I let you pet Mr. Winky. Hm?"
Kavekk shook his head, no.
"Are you scared of Mr. Winky? Kavekk?"
Kavekk shook his head, no.
"Then what is it?"
In a slow and perfectly articulate voice, Kavekk replied, "I am Mr. Winky."
boywithoutaspoon stoked the flames in the fireplace, ever present of the fact that he was being watched.
"I don't have time for this bullsh*t", croaked the aged man in the corner.
Silence was his response.
The old man stopped expecting an answer when boywithoutaspoon continued stirring the flames for nearly a minute.
Fiery red poker in hand, "I bet you have time for THIS!"
GwynapNud heard a loud noise coming from a nearby alley as she walked past carrying shopping bags. Curious, she approached the door marked with a single hammer painting. Gwyn stood there for several long seconds before she heard the scraping of metal on stone.
Quietly opening the door, she discovered a man dragging a body across the cavernous room, a metal rod in his hand. She was sickened to notice that blood was trailing the two men, and that the fireplace poker was covered in blood.
Unable to keep herself quiet, Gwyn let out a sharp gasp, as well as dropping her bag of fruits and vegetables.
Nilatai noticed the door to his workplace slightly ajar, and found it a little disturbing. Walking a bit faster, he reached the door and pulled out his two rubber mallets.
Peeking into the main entrance, he found a woman standing frighteningly still, and a co-worker facing her. It took Nilatai a moment, but he noticed the blood, the unconscious old man, and the metal poker in Spoonless' hand.
"boywithoutaspoon.. it's ok. Put the poker down, and stay where you are." said Nilatai in a forced calm voice.
Turning around quickly, the young woman let out a gasp, and ran to the safety of the newcomer's embrace.
Soracloud surveyed the saloon with an experienced eye. Cards were dealt, drinks were replenished; murmurs and drunken rambling provided a near constant source of amusement. Girls were present on nearly every man's arm.
Not on Him. That conniving sonuvabitch had Her with Him. You could not refer to Her as a girl, to do so was both an insult and a crime to Soracloud.
"That mutha@#%^a's gonna pay."
CUT!--
Brownduck had it coming to him. You could see it in the clerk's eyes. From the way he expertly took down the blonde haired man standing at the till, you could tell he was a professional. Brownduck cooly extended his right hand to the clerk behind the counter, not making any effort to conceal his "guns". "Check this for me, will ya?" said Brownduck, handing his ticket to the clerk.
"Y-you won 18 million dollars, s-sir!"
Bijou, as midnight-shift cashier of the only convenience store open 24/7, was sketching random thoughts out onto his pad of paper. It happened so fast, he was nowhere near the silent alarm when he heard a heavy clunk on the counter.
"Hey. Hey you." *Bijou looks up frantically at the customer* "Yeah, you. I want all the cash you have in that cash register."
Too scared to talk, Bijou responds with a nervous nod. Fumbling with the password and key to open the register, he hopes to God that the robber is a patient man.
"Hurry the @#%^ up. I have this gun for a reason." Said the thief, gesturing at the object in his coat pocket.
Finally able to open the register, Bijou begins handing the cash into the blonde man's open hands.
"Freeze." says a new voice. Startled at the newcomer, Bijou drops the handful of 20's he was transferring to the crook; The robber himself is shocked at the suddenness of the other man's approach.
Before the crook could even pull out his gun, much less move a finger, the newcomer deftly struck out at the thief's neck.
Down in one blow, the crook is hunched over on the floor, cash still clamped in his hands.
Annabella, known for her "crimson smile", or so she liked to call it, was on her way to the salon. Everything was going fine this morning. It was what you'd call a perfect day. Once at the counter, that's when things took a turn for the worse.
"Hi,"
, "I have an appointment for 2:30." said Anna with a motherly voice. "Oh, sh*t--"
"That's not what I wanted to hear.." said Anna, trying hard to keep the smile on her face. "I'm terribly sorry miss, I thought you weren't coming today. So I booked someone else for your slot.."
"Uh, why.."
, "why, would you do that?" was all Anna could say. "I-- I read on zam.com, in Kirby's sig It should be implied whenever I post, that Annabella is resting in peace."
"That idiot.." said Anna, almost in a low growl. "I can book you for sometime next week?.." said the timid clerk.
"RAGE!!" was the only discernible word that could be heard that morning.
Barkingturtle scratched his beard, picking at the scar he earned in a bar fight. Chickens could be heard in the distance, cows in the immediate area. Not only did he forget to grab his scythe, but he remembered the thing she said that morning.
"I like cheese."
As if to say "lol, @#%^ing loser", the cow said "lol, @#%^ing loser" as Barkingturtle trudged by.
Not today. Not today. Gripping the scythe firmly, Barkingturtle swung in even strokes through the wheat field.
He knew not how long he was outside, but when he returned, his sycthe was covered in a thick layer of crusted blood.
"Odd." was all he could say.
"Odd. I asked you NOT to harvest today." said Guenny.
"It just felt right, ya know?"
"I know honey, I know." And they embraced in a tender hug.
TirithRR was a man of few words. When things went south, he got things done. When everyone else dove for cover, he stood his ground.
TirithRR never took "No" for an answer. Not on this day. This day we FIGHT.
"You see? I brought more warriors than you did." was said in white text.
"Psh, I am the Last Samurai they needed-- BRB" while typed immediatley after TirithRR, could not be considered a reply.
Nothing but results mattered to TirithRR. Cold hard facts, in the face of high speed flying objects if need be.
TirithRR was as manly as a man could get, without becoming a fleshy blob with no discernable features.
GrowlingBunny considered her words wisely. These words would shift the course of the battle. These words had need for intensity, and power of will. Clearing her throat, inhaling deeply, and elevating her mic; she spoke.
"The weakness in the plans we procured, have revealed a 2 meter wide shaft. It is through this shaft that you will insert your proton torpedos. This, and only this plan of action will result in victory, any questions?"
Silence in the room seemed to make her words that much greater.
A raised hand, "Um. you do know how wrong that sounded right?"
Belkira offered her coworkers the cookies she baked in the late hours of the previous evening. Accepting the snack with a smile, the lady in the adjacent cubicle said her thanks. Her boss handed her the morning newspaper along with news of a pay increase next week.
Something wasn't right. The smell of booze in the air, the rush of wind on the back of her neck.
Awakening with a sudden jerk, Belkira let out a sigh of relief.
"@#%^ing nightmare."
Mindel opened her gift, unsure of the contents after briefly shaking the well-wrapped box. The ribbon seemed to go on forever, the suspense was killing her. It was only after removing the tissues and bubble wrap did she have an inkling of what it was she was holding. A time bomb. Fan-@#%^ing-tastic.
"So much for my evening plans."
Siralin wanted nothing else but to arrive home safely after a wild night out. The relative silence of the taxi was the perfect environment to relieve pounding headaches. It was in this moment, firmly massaging his head, that Siralin noticed the faint smell of something not quite right.
"Excuse me, do you smell something?" he inquired.
"I do not speak any english." replied the cab driver.
"Uh, but you spoke perfect english just now."
"No, only that sentence and this sentence explaining it." said the driver with a grin.
In his drunken state, Siralin decided to let it go. Returning to his spot against the window, he noticed three things happen simultaneously.
One: He was no longer traveling horizontally.
Two: Bright flashes of light, blinding him utterly.
Three: The sound of jets overhead, very close, and very loud.
By the time the taxi landed back on the ground, two occupants were dead. The third was calmly situated in the glove compartment.
Sweetums lifted the cover on the rice cooker, feeling the cloud of steam rising from the plain white rice. Replacing the cover, she took a step back to oversee the rest of the kitchen and its handful of occupants. Orders received from the servers were starting to pile up. Chefs began to sweat, fretting that the eyes watching them would notice something out of place.
Sweetums liked her job. The pay was not as much as she'd hoped, but that would be changing in short order. The hours were reasonable, if not consistent.
Yep. Good. Splendid even.
As she watched a cook preparing a fried burrito, a sudden transformation took place in her brain. As if a bomb went off in her skull, she leapt for the fried burrito and sprinted towards the exit. Those sly @#%^ers. Thinking they could get away with murder.
It was only when she reached the forensics lab that she slowed her pace, and stood for a moment to collect her thoughs and her breath. She got them good.
Catt decided that he wouldn't be drinking any more alcohol now that he was in college. It seemed plausible that he might not achieve the grades he hoped for under the influence. Seemed so anyway.
Now that he was actually attending his classes, the thought of a cold beer in the afternoon set his mouth watering. Surely it wouldn't hurt to have just one?
Walking home from the liqour store, Catt waved at fellow classmates; he even invited them over for dinner. Tonight would be fun. Stuffed with the finest steaks a college student could buy, the small group sat in the living room where a hockey game was displayed on the TV.
Betcha can't eat just one. Betcha can't eat just one.
"Shut up." Catt growled.
His confused friends exchanged glances before muttering "Uh, we didn't say anything."
"Oh, not you." said Catt, "that damn monkey in my closet is being a *****."
Failzor sniffs hesitantly at the trail of blood. Discovering the scent of a seal, he swiftly makes his way towards the surface, towards a young seal pup. Following the scent leads to a dead end. He is now lost in the streets of Chicago. Unable to comprehend the sudden shift from shark to man, he employs the same tactics of the hunt.
It is on Mars that SNARF SNARF--
AshOnMyTomatoes unwittingly pressed the wrong button at his work station. This was concluded with 2 weeks suspension without pay. Ash pressed the button again, swearing it was a mistake, which was result in the immediate loss of his job.
On the third press of this button, Ash knowingly set loose the evils of the world onto humanity. Neon clothing is BACK..
DUN DUN DUHHHHNNNN
Turin could not believe his eyes. It took alot to surprise a man who had seen everything the world had to offer; Sheer shock ran through his mind. How could a simple walk for some fresh air result in the sight of neon clothing making its comeback into society?
NixNot posted in his daily blog and took another sip of coffee.
"Phone's ringin'", said his boss.
"Hm?"
"Oh. OH." *Scrambling for phone* "Hello there, how can I help you?" "Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the set of Sesame Street, interested?"
"Umm. I think you have the wrong number, sir." said NixNot in a somewhat confused tone.
"Hm? Nope. I want you to come with me."
*Boss and NixNot exchange a flurry of hand gestures and facial expressions*
"Yeah ok. Come pick me up in 30mins." said NixNot.
*NixNot whispers* "See? He @#%^ing wants to take me somewhere."
*Boss demonstrates a series of complex motions that boil down to NixNot's death*
30 minutes later, NixNot is in the passenger seat of a Ford Mustang, contemplating that Death-By-Boss might not have been any worse.
Arriving on the set of Sesame Street, NixNot greets the puppets and their actors.
Still wondering what the @#%^ he's doing in such a place, NixNot decides to head towards the exit.
*Big Bird divebombs NixNot*
*Scene is filled with blood and feathers*
UglySasquatch was growing tired of the stakeout. Yawning deeply into his hand, he stood up in the surveillance van to stretch his arms and back. He was beginning to think nothing was going to happen when a ring tone scared the sh*t out of him. Calming himself, he secured the headphones on his head, and listened to the conversation between friends. They talked about girlfriends, that night out last weekend and their work. It wasn't until a sharp clang was heard, did Ugly suspect anything.
Ugly gave a signal to the other agent in the vehicle, who responded with a quick nod.
A quick yelp was heard from the house, then silence.
"I'll bet you that was Ikkian." Ugly murmured to his partner.
Iamadam just finished his dinner, when he heard his cell phone ringing from his bedroom. He never got bored of the Futurama theme ring tone, never. Quickly walking into the room, he felt an odd sensation. Shrugging it off, he answered the phone.
It wasn't until he was in deep discussion with his friend that he heard a sharp, resounding clang from the direction of the kitchen.
"What was that?" could be heard from the speaker on Iamadam's cell.
Adam took a long second to calm himself before replying in a whisper, "I'm not sure. I'll call you back."
Standing at Adam's front door, Ikkian was holding what appeared to be a weapon.
The silenced shots erupted from the muzzle of the pistol, followed by a quick crunching noise as Adam's fist struck it's target.
LobsterJohnson entered the theater, and scanned the available seats, unaware that someone was looking down on him from the top row. Finding a suitable spot near the middle of the second highest row, LJ ensured his popcorn was firmly in his left hand, and began the hike up. Having no particular interest in the other movie goers, he swiftly made it to his seat. After sitting down and placing his soft drink in the cup holder, LJ took a moment to glance behind him.
He felt kinda bad that the person directly behind him could no longer see the screen without leaning to the side.
Out of seemingly nowhere, a man in the top row said, "Hey you can sit next to me if you want."
"Uh, sure." said LJ. He didn't particularly mind moving, and he might even have someone to share little tidbits of conversation with.
Out of the corner of his eye, LJ saw a flash of yellowish light.
"Hey, did you see that?" said LJ.
"See what? The movie's about to start." said the man next to him.
Allegory showed an interest in the newcomer. He seemed very tall, even from the vantage point Allegory had in the upper section. The tall man looked very sure of himself, as if he'd been here countless times before. Unlike Allegory, the big man displayed no interest in others around him. How odd.
He noticed the man look behind, and it seemed to Allegory that the large man was uncomfortable. Glancing over at the occupant behind the big guy, Allegory discovered the reason.
"Hey, you can sit next to me if you want."
"Uh, sure." said the big man.
Humans sure are curious creatures. With barely a moment of effort, Allegory beamed himself up.
Timelordwho appeared on screen momentarily to say "What's the difference between first and second degree murder?"
With the audience contemplating the answer, TLW says "See above."
Aripyanfar loosened the cap on a jar of hot salsa, as she listened to the party next door. In rhythm to the song "Right Round", she wandered over to the pantry in search of the half-finished bag of Tostitos. Several times that night, Ari considered heading next door to join in. Each time she had that thought, she dismissed it on the grounds that I have a job interview tomorrow...
Dipping the crunchy chips into the red and green sea of salsa, Ari's thoughts drifted. Childhood memories, mistakes she had made, fun times with friends; they all seemed so distant.
*Knock-knock-knock*
Snapping back into the present, Ari fumbled with the chips and salsa, hiding them out of plain sight. Quickly checking her hair in the mirror, she opened her front door.
Standing surprisingly still for someone whose face clearly showed signs of alcohol and drug use, the young man handed her an envelope. She took it with little force, and glanced at the front which was labeled with her name.
Stepping away from the entrance of her house, the man gave Ari a quick smirk, then walked briskly back to the party.
Ari briefly mirrored the smirk, ripped open the envelope and emptied the contents into her palm; A pill.
"Why not." she breathed.
Kalivha opens the door into the bar, scanning the crowd for RJ. Randomly appearing behind her, remorajunbao kicks her to the moon where they live happily ever after.
Flixa wondered if he was the only one who witnessed what he had seen. Not sure if it was just alcohol-enhanced imagination, or the superhuman ability to kick someone into the air, let alone to the moon.
Looking derisively at the bottle of rum in his hand, he tosses it aside and calls it an early night.
Pensieve, unable to comprehend the sheer awesome of Touhou, is forced into the 4th dimension. It is through this portal on Zam.com that he reveals the inner workings of another species called "Hume". Although he has long resigned himself to living in another world, circumstances in this world come into fruition in 2012. It is at this time that all of humanity is absorbed into the 5th dimension, where the 4th dimension resides.
Bah, my imagination has its limits. For you who I don't know too well or I just got bored making up stories, I'll just list you:
Jophiel, Nobby, Nexa, Usagi, Kaolian, NazgulSHD, Overburn, MojoVIII, Tailmon, Dyadem, Paskil, Codyy, MentalFrog, Kaelesh, Kaain, Punkfloyd, niobia, Darqflame, Pikko, Redphoenixxx, eiran, SWM, Zackary, Galkaman, Xsarus, popcornshowers, zepoodle, gbaji, smasharoo, stupid monkey, Goggy, Doug.
Again, sorry if I didn't make a story about/including you, but you can PFORU anyway :D
Edited, Jun 2nd 2009 3:52pm by Kirby
The warm wind swept the pavement of the theater's parking lot. Dust and debris in the air, assorted soft drink cups littering the ground, movie-goers streaming out of the nearby exit; Here was Matt's chance.
Unnoticed by grinning customers, an adolescent boy weaved his way towards the only vehicle parked on the west side of the lot. Slowly scanning the crowd, Matt kept an eye out for the red cap the boy always wore. It was in this moment, hunter and hunted unaware of each other's existence, that the unimaginable happened.
*Boom*
*Echoing rumble*
As the smoke billowed up towards the night sky, civillians turned as one towards the source of the horrific crash. In the seconds after the collision, no one moved beyond their own jittery skin. It seemed to take minutes, but sirens could be heard approaching the scene.
Those nearest to the flames licking the evening air, struggled to identify the twisted and mangled wreckage.
It was during the commotion that Matt was able to spot Kevin running to his matte-blue car. Getting into his own vehicle, Matt turned the ignition key and was about to follow Kevin, when an ambulance suddenly impacted the ground two car-lengths in front of him.
Adrenaline flowing in his veins, Matt cursed and slammed on the breaks. Small flames surrounded the charred ambulance, occupants not visible in the front seats. Turning his attention back to the last spot he'd seen Kevin, Matt located him easily enough stopped at a red light. Still wondering about the ambulance, Matt kept a discreet distance from the blue car ahead of him.
On the local news channel, a reporter described the scene in downtown Edmonton. On-site video, accompanied by helicopter footage, depicted the deep impact area of a street buckled and covered in ash. As the helicopter camera zoomed in for a closer look, something could be seen vibrating amidst the smoke and dust.
Angle-parking outside the bank, Kevin locked his car and looked towards the smoke on the horizon. Matt used this moment to his advantage and pulled up next to Kevin's car. In the motion of turning back to the bank, Kevin felt the gun on the back of his neck.
"I-I'm just getting the money now."
"I'll be waiting here. Let's not make my boss wait any longer shall we?" said Matt with a hint of menace.
Blades spinning irregularly, they could no longer support the flight of the helicopter. Falling to the ground and impacting with a loud screech and crash, spraying the surrounding area with molten metal, the aircraft exploded into a ball of flames.
The local news channel was having some "technical difficulties", so the pub owner switched the channel over to the football game.
To be continued...
@#%^ it, someone wanna finish it for me?
Edited, Jul 27th 2009 12:59am by Kirby
Edited, Jul 27th 2009 1:00am by Kirby
Unnoticed by grinning customers, an adolescent boy weaved his way towards the only vehicle parked on the west side of the lot. Slowly scanning the crowd, Matt kept an eye out for the red cap the boy always wore. It was in this moment, hunter and hunted unaware of each other's existence, that the unimaginable happened.
*Boom*
*Echoing rumble*
As the smoke billowed up towards the night sky, civillians turned as one towards the source of the horrific crash. In the seconds after the collision, no one moved beyond their own jittery skin. It seemed to take minutes, but sirens could be heard approaching the scene.
Those nearest to the flames licking the evening air, struggled to identify the twisted and mangled wreckage.
It was during the commotion that Matt was able to spot Kevin running to his matte-blue car. Getting into his own vehicle, Matt turned the ignition key and was about to follow Kevin, when an ambulance suddenly impacted the ground two car-lengths in front of him.
Adrenaline flowing in his veins, Matt cursed and slammed on the breaks. Small flames surrounded the charred ambulance, occupants not visible in the front seats. Turning his attention back to the last spot he'd seen Kevin, Matt located him easily enough stopped at a red light. Still wondering about the ambulance, Matt kept a discreet distance from the blue car ahead of him.
On the local news channel, a reporter described the scene in downtown Edmonton. On-site video, accompanied by helicopter footage, depicted the deep impact area of a street buckled and covered in ash. As the helicopter camera zoomed in for a closer look, something could be seen vibrating amidst the smoke and dust.
Angle-parking outside the bank, Kevin locked his car and looked towards the smoke on the horizon. Matt used this moment to his advantage and pulled up next to Kevin's car. In the motion of turning back to the bank, Kevin felt the gun on the back of his neck.
"I-I'm just getting the money now."
"I'll be waiting here. Let's not make my boss wait any longer shall we?" said Matt with a hint of menace.
Blades spinning irregularly, they could no longer support the flight of the helicopter. Falling to the ground and impacting with a loud screech and crash, spraying the surrounding area with molten metal, the aircraft exploded into a ball of flames.
The local news channel was having some "technical difficulties", so the pub owner switched the channel over to the football game.
To be continued...
@#%^ it, someone wanna finish it for me?
Edited, Jul 27th 2009 12:59am by Kirby
Edited, Jul 27th 2009 1:00am by Kirby
The leaf fell from the tree, drifting in the gentle breeze; almost making it to the hill with its load, the ant was covered in the maple leaf. The elderly man stepped on the floor of brown and yellow leaves, crushing a piece of apple, underneath which was a black ant.
Smoke curled in a bluish haze away from the cigarette in his mouth, wrinkled palms gripped a cane and briefcase.
"I thought you were never gonna show up." said a grumpy colleague, struggling to rise from a wooden bench.
Taking a leisurely puff from his cigarette, George contemplated a simple reply or a stinging remark. Settling for the latter, he grinned his yellow toothed smile, and said "If it weren't for your useless assistant, I would have arrived an hour ago."
Embracing in a brief hug, the two old men continued down one of the park's many trails. Amid snide comments regarding their private lives, the two men took note of the various autumn colors present at this time of the year.
"So. Any luck on the prototype?" said the taller man, unable to hide his pessimism.
"Not quite as much progress as we'd hoped, but it's coming along." replied George, who seemed to have trouble keeping up with his friend.
Almost half-way across the globe, the robotic humanoid squeezed the trigger on a standard issue American M4 Assault Rifle. Clapping and cheering erupted in the laboratory. Everyone seemed genuinely happy except for one woman standing alone, staring at a computer screen.
"Jane? Earth to Jane, we did it!"
Muttering under her breath, Jane continued scanning the display, and scratching notes hastily into her notepad.
George displayed his teeth again as he explained the basics of the operation to his close friend Dave. Quite literally, their goal was to replace human forces in the army with semi-intelligent robots and human controlled vehicles.
"That is quite the mission you have to strive for. I hope all goes well with the remainder of the operation."
It was at that exact moment in time, that the humanoid turned towards the scientists and lifted its rifle.
Edited, Jun 20th 2009 12:50pm by Kirby
Smoke curled in a bluish haze away from the cigarette in his mouth, wrinkled palms gripped a cane and briefcase.
"I thought you were never gonna show up." said a grumpy colleague, struggling to rise from a wooden bench.
Taking a leisurely puff from his cigarette, George contemplated a simple reply or a stinging remark. Settling for the latter, he grinned his yellow toothed smile, and said "If it weren't for your useless assistant, I would have arrived an hour ago."
Embracing in a brief hug, the two old men continued down one of the park's many trails. Amid snide comments regarding their private lives, the two men took note of the various autumn colors present at this time of the year.
"So. Any luck on the prototype?" said the taller man, unable to hide his pessimism.
"Not quite as much progress as we'd hoped, but it's coming along." replied George, who seemed to have trouble keeping up with his friend.
Almost half-way across the globe, the robotic humanoid squeezed the trigger on a standard issue American M4 Assault Rifle. Clapping and cheering erupted in the laboratory. Everyone seemed genuinely happy except for one woman standing alone, staring at a computer screen.
"Jane? Earth to Jane, we did it!"
Muttering under her breath, Jane continued scanning the display, and scratching notes hastily into her notepad.
George displayed his teeth again as he explained the basics of the operation to his close friend Dave. Quite literally, their goal was to replace human forces in the army with semi-intelligent robots and human controlled vehicles.
"That is quite the mission you have to strive for. I hope all goes well with the remainder of the operation."
It was at that exact moment in time, that the humanoid turned towards the scientists and lifted its rifle.
Edited, Jun 20th 2009 12:50pm by Kirby
Lightning struck rapidly at the pine tree, turning bark and branches to ash instantly. Barely managing to escape the purplish dagger of electrical energy, the squirrel landed on a nearby building.
As if reacting to the small weight, the building buckled and crumpled into itself.
Kim couldn't help but laugh out loud as the ball of flames soared into the cloudy, rain-filled evening sky. It was yesterday morning when she got the order to eliminate the evidence that would have led to the arrest of someone high up in the food chain.
She liked her job. It satisfied a part of Kim's brain that was normally void and lifeless. It was as if she fulfilled her primal urges with each act of destruction.
Instinct told the squirrel to flee in any direction possible, and if a way could not be found, to make one. Scratching and clawing its way out of the burning storage warehouse, the squirrel emerged into a pounding rainfall. Bits of fur melted or completely gone clearly marked the woodland animal.
Once or twice that evening, Kim thought she heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Branches cracking, ferns rustling, rain falling. Thunder echoed across the forest, making her heart beat faster if only for a second. She did her job. The hard part was getting out, leaving no traces of her existence behind. Just when she was beginning to get careless, a silent, yet still barely audible dart soared past Kim's ear.
The squirrel climbed into a tree. A tree very similar to the last one it called home, yet still slightly different. It would take awhile, but the squirrel would soon enough get used to its new home.
Screech.
It was over before she could make a defensive maneuver. A well aimed shot to the back of the neck put Kim into a deep sleep.
The hawk soared into the foliage containing the squirrel. Much too tired from its escape from the warehouse, the squirrel did all it could do. It jumped from the branch, into the night sky.
One being survived that evening's events.
Edited, Jun 20th 2009 6:09pm by Kirby
As if reacting to the small weight, the building buckled and crumpled into itself.
Kim couldn't help but laugh out loud as the ball of flames soared into the cloudy, rain-filled evening sky. It was yesterday morning when she got the order to eliminate the evidence that would have led to the arrest of someone high up in the food chain.
She liked her job. It satisfied a part of Kim's brain that was normally void and lifeless. It was as if she fulfilled her primal urges with each act of destruction.
Instinct told the squirrel to flee in any direction possible, and if a way could not be found, to make one. Scratching and clawing its way out of the burning storage warehouse, the squirrel emerged into a pounding rainfall. Bits of fur melted or completely gone clearly marked the woodland animal.
Once or twice that evening, Kim thought she heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Branches cracking, ferns rustling, rain falling. Thunder echoed across the forest, making her heart beat faster if only for a second. She did her job. The hard part was getting out, leaving no traces of her existence behind. Just when she was beginning to get careless, a silent, yet still barely audible dart soared past Kim's ear.
The squirrel climbed into a tree. A tree very similar to the last one it called home, yet still slightly different. It would take awhile, but the squirrel would soon enough get used to its new home.
Screech.
It was over before she could make a defensive maneuver. A well aimed shot to the back of the neck put Kim into a deep sleep.
The hawk soared into the foliage containing the squirrel. Much too tired from its escape from the warehouse, the squirrel did all it could do. It jumped from the branch, into the night sky.
One being survived that evening's events.
Edited, Jun 20th 2009 6:09pm by Kirby
Jake often made his way down to the local pub in the evenings. Rarely did he get drunk enough to make him stumble, but tonight was one of those nights.
Jake managed a heavily slurred, "I want to go home."
Jake paid the heavy-set driver as he exited the cab in front of his apartment building. Three flights up, Jake managed to steady his hand long enough to insert the key into his one bedroom apartment.
Four hours pass as Jake snores in his deep sleep.
Woken up by sirens, Jake feels the urge to empty his bladder. Mumbling in his half-asleep state, he pulls the zipper up on his faded blue denim jeans.
It's only when he notices smoke curling its way through the bottom crack of his front door, that Jake is fully attentive.
As he felt his heart pumping with renewed vigor, Jake scrambles to collect his most important belongings: wallet, keys and cell.
Jake is almost overwhelmed by smoke when he bursts through the door, worsening his already pounding headache. Eleven steps into the hallway, he collapses.
Mack sipped a lukewarm coffee as he mentally prepared for the blazing apartment building four blocks away. He'd seen worse fires, but he couldn't underestimate them after what had happened to his closest friend.
Hurrying, as calmly as they could, the firefighters collected tools and equipments from exterior cabinets on the fire engine; Pulling out axes and battering rams, one team equipped with SCBA's headed for the old building.
What a horrible time for a man to have asthma. With smoke thickening in the hallway, only the bottom foot of the hallway could be seen clearly. Jake took a couple breaths while depressing his inhaler.
Crawling his way to the exit in the increasing heat sounded like fun..
Edited, Jul 22nd 2009 8:33pm by Kirby
Jake managed a heavily slurred, "I want to go home."
Jake paid the heavy-set driver as he exited the cab in front of his apartment building. Three flights up, Jake managed to steady his hand long enough to insert the key into his one bedroom apartment.
Four hours pass as Jake snores in his deep sleep.
Woken up by sirens, Jake feels the urge to empty his bladder. Mumbling in his half-asleep state, he pulls the zipper up on his faded blue denim jeans.
It's only when he notices smoke curling its way through the bottom crack of his front door, that Jake is fully attentive.
As he felt his heart pumping with renewed vigor, Jake scrambles to collect his most important belongings: wallet, keys and cell.
Jake is almost overwhelmed by smoke when he bursts through the door, worsening his already pounding headache. Eleven steps into the hallway, he collapses.
Mack sipped a lukewarm coffee as he mentally prepared for the blazing apartment building four blocks away. He'd seen worse fires, but he couldn't underestimate them after what had happened to his closest friend.
Hurrying, as calmly as they could, the firefighters collected tools and equipments from exterior cabinets on the fire engine; Pulling out axes and battering rams, one team equipped with SCBA's headed for the old building.
What a horrible time for a man to have asthma. With smoke thickening in the hallway, only the bottom foot of the hallway could be seen clearly. Jake took a couple breaths while depressing his inhaler.
Crawling his way to the exit in the increasing heat sounded like fun..
Edited, Jul 22nd 2009 8:33pm by Kirby
Kirby glanced over at his PC, cursor blinking on the "Post reply" page. Closing his flip-phone, he started typing up a short story.
Ideas came naturally to him, they just had a hard time making it to the page in an articulate and well-flowing format.
Today's story was about a bassist working his way up to stardom with his high school band. Probably influenced by Kirby's recent 3-hour sessions playing Rockband 2, the story had no real basis in musical terminology. Entertaining as it was, the story could not be seen as anything but trivial and light-hearted.
That was ok with Kirby. He usually just posted whatever came to his mind anyway.
Collapsing into bed, noticing the rays of sunshine permeating the cracks in the blinds, Kirby heaved a sigh and closed his eyes.
Only 2 or 3hrs later, Kirby jerked awake at the sound of a helicopter flying almost directly above his house. Still groggy, he looked outside and glared at the electrical technicians working on the power lines above.
There was always something keeping him from a good "night's" sleep. Yesterday he was woken up by his sisters, insisting that he get ready to go watch a movie.
I sure hope it's something worthwhile tomorrow..
Half-hearted wish quickly dismissed from his mind, he crawled back into bed and tried to atleast rest his eyes.
Waking up a couple hours before his next shift, Kirby rubbed his eyes and turned his computer on. Grabbing a change of clothes, he headed to the bathroom to shave and take a warm 10 minute shower.
Coming back to his room feeling fresh and fully awake, Kirby browses the recent threads in both the OOT and his Journal. Finding nothing particularly interesting or topics already thoroughly discussed, he turns the computer off and grabs a ride to work from his dad.
Edited, Aug 4th 2009 7:16am by Kirby
Edited, Aug 4th 2009 7:23am by Kirby
Ideas came naturally to him, they just had a hard time making it to the page in an articulate and well-flowing format.
Today's story was about a bassist working his way up to stardom with his high school band. Probably influenced by Kirby's recent 3-hour sessions playing Rockband 2, the story had no real basis in musical terminology. Entertaining as it was, the story could not be seen as anything but trivial and light-hearted.
That was ok with Kirby. He usually just posted whatever came to his mind anyway.
Collapsing into bed, noticing the rays of sunshine permeating the cracks in the blinds, Kirby heaved a sigh and closed his eyes.
Only 2 or 3hrs later, Kirby jerked awake at the sound of a helicopter flying almost directly above his house. Still groggy, he looked outside and glared at the electrical technicians working on the power lines above.
There was always something keeping him from a good "night's" sleep. Yesterday he was woken up by his sisters, insisting that he get ready to go watch a movie.
I sure hope it's something worthwhile tomorrow..
Half-hearted wish quickly dismissed from his mind, he crawled back into bed and tried to atleast rest his eyes.
Waking up a couple hours before his next shift, Kirby rubbed his eyes and turned his computer on. Grabbing a change of clothes, he headed to the bathroom to shave and take a warm 10 minute shower.
Coming back to his room feeling fresh and fully awake, Kirby browses the recent threads in both the OOT and his Journal. Finding nothing particularly interesting or topics already thoroughly discussed, he turns the computer off and grabs a ride to work from his dad.
Edited, Aug 4th 2009 7:16am by Kirby
Edited, Aug 4th 2009 7:23am by Kirby
So liek, collision of baked potato and fried burrito, etc., etc.
I herd dis where I pee? Imma go over dere.
Oki. Just don't go near Failzor's corpse.
Margaret sat at the kitchen table sipping a cup of warm milk and reading one of her “smut magazines.†Her husband came in from the living room and lovingly squeezed her shoulder as he passed behind her to open the refrigerator. He endured her playful swats as he upended the jug of milk and took a swig.
“Use a glass, you animal,†she scolded.
“Less for you to wash, my love,†he replied, nuzzling her neck. Margaret snorted and turned back to her magazine. “Still reading those sappy love stories, huh? I’m not romantic enough for you?â€
“They’re funny, that’s why I read them,†she replied.
“Ah, carefully avoiding the question of my romantic aptitude, I see. I can’t help but feel it must be in an attempt to keep from hurting my feelings.â€
“The wounded man routine? That got you into my panties last night. Tonight, you’re going to have to try something a little more manly,†Margaret replied, turning a page.
“Manly, huh?†he replied thoughtfully. “How about this. Woman, get your *** off that chair and bake me a pie, god dammit!â€
Margaret raised an eyebrow. “Only if you want to get served with divorce papers.â€
He pulled her hair back and leaned down next to her and delicately licked the outside of her ear. “How about this,†he whispered softly in her ear. He gently took her earlobe between his teeth and nibbled. He released it with a soft kiss, then placed another soft kiss just behind her ear. Trailing kisses down her neck to her shoulder, his other hand came around to the front of her robe and tugged on the belt holding it closed. As the front slipped open, he ran his hand down her nightgown to the hem. His hand on her thigh, he slowly slid underneath her nightgown, moving up towards that moist area where her legs joined. Margaret closed her eyes, opened her legs, and moaned softly as his finger probed her gently. His second finger joined the first, and he delved a little deeper, earning an excited gasp from his wife.
Margaret leaned back in her chair, waves of pleasure rolling over her. Her husband took advantage of her new position, lifting her nightgown and grasping one of her breasts in his hand, rubbing her nipple between his thumb and forefinger while he sucked and kissed her neck. His hand kept its steady movement, moving in and out of her, rubbing until she couldn’t help but move her hips in time with his rhythm. She thrust closer, trying to get his fingers deeper.
Her husband moaned at the signs of her obvious pleasure, his erection throbbing against his jeans. He ceased his actions and roughly spun her chair around as if she weren’t even in it. Both pairs of hands clumsily pawed at his belt buckle until his pants and boxer shorts lay in a puddle on the kitchen floor. He then scooped Margaret up and spun her around so he could sit in the chair. He settled her down in his lap, facing him, letting her sheath him. Her long, dark hair rippled down her back as she gripped his shoulders and began to ride him. Her breasts rubbed up against his chest, her nipples growing hard from the friction of his chest hair. He gripped her hips and helped rise her higher than she could go on her own, practically slipping out of her before she plunged back down, taking him all in. He leaned down and buried his face between her bouncing breasts, kissing, licking, and sucking where he could find purchase.
Uh, and something about a burrito? AmIDoinItRite?
“Use a glass, you animal,†she scolded.
“Less for you to wash, my love,†he replied, nuzzling her neck. Margaret snorted and turned back to her magazine. “Still reading those sappy love stories, huh? I’m not romantic enough for you?â€
“They’re funny, that’s why I read them,†she replied.
“Ah, carefully avoiding the question of my romantic aptitude, I see. I can’t help but feel it must be in an attempt to keep from hurting my feelings.â€
“The wounded man routine? That got you into my panties last night. Tonight, you’re going to have to try something a little more manly,†Margaret replied, turning a page.
“Manly, huh?†he replied thoughtfully. “How about this. Woman, get your *** off that chair and bake me a pie, god dammit!â€
Margaret raised an eyebrow. “Only if you want to get served with divorce papers.â€
He pulled her hair back and leaned down next to her and delicately licked the outside of her ear. “How about this,†he whispered softly in her ear. He gently took her earlobe between his teeth and nibbled. He released it with a soft kiss, then placed another soft kiss just behind her ear. Trailing kisses down her neck to her shoulder, his other hand came around to the front of her robe and tugged on the belt holding it closed. As the front slipped open, he ran his hand down her nightgown to the hem. His hand on her thigh, he slowly slid underneath her nightgown, moving up towards that moist area where her legs joined. Margaret closed her eyes, opened her legs, and moaned softly as his finger probed her gently. His second finger joined the first, and he delved a little deeper, earning an excited gasp from his wife.
Margaret leaned back in her chair, waves of pleasure rolling over her. Her husband took advantage of her new position, lifting her nightgown and grasping one of her breasts in his hand, rubbing her nipple between his thumb and forefinger while he sucked and kissed her neck. His hand kept its steady movement, moving in and out of her, rubbing until she couldn’t help but move her hips in time with his rhythm. She thrust closer, trying to get his fingers deeper.
Her husband moaned at the signs of her obvious pleasure, his erection throbbing against his jeans. He ceased his actions and roughly spun her chair around as if she weren’t even in it. Both pairs of hands clumsily pawed at his belt buckle until his pants and boxer shorts lay in a puddle on the kitchen floor. He then scooped Margaret up and spun her around so he could sit in the chair. He settled her down in his lap, facing him, letting her sheath him. Her long, dark hair rippled down her back as she gripped his shoulders and began to ride him. Her breasts rubbed up against his chest, her nipples growing hard from the friction of his chest hair. He gripped her hips and helped rise her higher than she could go on her own, practically slipping out of her before she plunged back down, taking him all in. He leaned down and buried his face between her bouncing breasts, kissing, licking, and sucking where he could find purchase.
Uh, and something about a burrito? AmIDoinItRite?
Hawt, Belki.
<Insert ******* Awesome story here>
Walking down the moonlit path, Corran took note of his surroundings. Damp gravel underfoot, ferns brushing and coloring his jacket with moisture, he examined the rustling trees which seemed as tall as the sky itself. Deep in this ancient forest, his comrades waited.
Corran was growing weary of the unending path, tired of the sound his boots made as they scraped the forest floor. Owls hooted their repetitive call, seemingly unaware of the slowly rising anger in Corran. He'd been telling himself it was only a few more minutes for the past hour.
Sebastian was about to fall asleep in his makeshift shelter, when he heard footsteps approaching on the nearby walking trail. Gritting his teeth, eyes still closed, he waited for the man (judging by the weight of his footfalls) to pass him by.
Just at the edge of his hearing range, Sebastian heard the man stop and turn.
Sebastian was about to stop paying attention to the unknown man, when he heard him say, "Who's there?"
Heartbeat thudding in his chest, he wondered how the man had known Sebastian was there. Hoping to make the man give up, Sebastian remained quiet, though his heart seemed like it would give him away.
After waiting nearly a minute, doubting he had heard anything at all, Corran was about to start walking towards his friends' camp again.
There was that sound again!
Nothing big, to be sure, but it definitely seemed to have an intelligence behind it. Cross between a low growl, and a deep bass rumble, the sound terrified Corran.
How Sebastian heard the growl over his own heartbeat, he didn't know. What he did know though, was that the source of that sound was unlike anything he'd heard in his temporary home.
Slowly rising from his lumpy and worn mattress, he tried to catch the attention of the man just beyond the tree line.
"Pssst."
The new sound made Corran jump. Fairly sure it was another human, he whispered, "Who's there?"
Rustling and snapping of twigs accompanied the shadow of a man as he emerged from the trees.
"You heard the strange noise as well?" asked the old man.
"Yes. I won't ask why you're covered in rags... but have you not heard that noise before?"
Sebastian felt color rising to his cheeks as the other man made note of his attire. "No. And I doubt we really want to find out what made that noise."
Enveloped in a heavy coat of fur, the creature lifted its head, as if trying to overhear the humans' conversation. Stealth was easy for the forest creature, as it was the most deadly predator for hundreds of miles around.
Clawed feet, one step at a time, made their way closer to the stench of men. Dark eyes, deep orange irises at their center, scanned the two men as they talked.
"I would trade an arm for a blaster right about now...â€
"No kidding. All I've got is this small vibroblade."
All 180 lbs of its muscular frame crept up to the two men, almost in pouncing distance. Saliva pooled in its mouth, seeping out between well cleaned fangs.
Crouching down, ready for the pounce, the creature anticipated the delicious taste, the crunch of bone, and the raw meat clinging to it.
The animal leapt through the air, mouth wide open, claws reaching out.
Corran, without fully realizing why, ducked at the same instant. Feeling the rush of air pass overhead, and the sound of two bodies colliding, he quickly noticed the forest creature on top of the older man.
Adrenaline rushing into his already quickened heart, Sebastian wrestled with the lithe, yet still powerful creature. Keeping the monster's teeth away from his neck with all his might, he was unable to grab his blade.
Even as he managed to croak, "Help...†he noticed Corran in his peripheral vision. What he was doing, he cared little, as long as it would save him from an untimely death.
Almost stumbling over his own feet, Corran rushed over to aid the man under attack. Armed with nothing but raw strength, he lunged for the creature's neck.
Almost in vain, he attempted to rip into the beast's jugular with his bare hands.
He might have succeeded, had he not felt the rip of his jacket, the stinging in his shoulder, and the brute force that knocked him over.
Searing red light burned a hole through the forest creature. Neatly turning heart to ash, the blaster carbine's bolt hit its mark.
Breathing in short, raspy gasps, Corran felt nothing but pain in his left shoulder. But the fact that he could feel pain, was much better than the alternative.
He looked down at the old man, who was similarly short of breath.
"Sorry! I couldn't get a clear shot at the thing, with you grappling it Corran!" A new voice shouted.
Corran, losing consciousness, managed to stick out his middle finger before collapsing onto the blood-soaked ground.
Marveling at the fact that he was still alive, Sebastian let out a weak laugh.
"Close one, eh?"
"You can say that again." said Corran, as he passed out.
Edited, Sep 12th 2009 11:25am by Kirby
Corran was growing weary of the unending path, tired of the sound his boots made as they scraped the forest floor. Owls hooted their repetitive call, seemingly unaware of the slowly rising anger in Corran. He'd been telling himself it was only a few more minutes for the past hour.
Sebastian was about to fall asleep in his makeshift shelter, when he heard footsteps approaching on the nearby walking trail. Gritting his teeth, eyes still closed, he waited for the man (judging by the weight of his footfalls) to pass him by.
Just at the edge of his hearing range, Sebastian heard the man stop and turn.
Sebastian was about to stop paying attention to the unknown man, when he heard him say, "Who's there?"
Heartbeat thudding in his chest, he wondered how the man had known Sebastian was there. Hoping to make the man give up, Sebastian remained quiet, though his heart seemed like it would give him away.
After waiting nearly a minute, doubting he had heard anything at all, Corran was about to start walking towards his friends' camp again.
There was that sound again!
Nothing big, to be sure, but it definitely seemed to have an intelligence behind it. Cross between a low growl, and a deep bass rumble, the sound terrified Corran.
How Sebastian heard the growl over his own heartbeat, he didn't know. What he did know though, was that the source of that sound was unlike anything he'd heard in his temporary home.
Slowly rising from his lumpy and worn mattress, he tried to catch the attention of the man just beyond the tree line.
"Pssst."
The new sound made Corran jump. Fairly sure it was another human, he whispered, "Who's there?"
Rustling and snapping of twigs accompanied the shadow of a man as he emerged from the trees.
"You heard the strange noise as well?" asked the old man.
"Yes. I won't ask why you're covered in rags... but have you not heard that noise before?"
Sebastian felt color rising to his cheeks as the other man made note of his attire. "No. And I doubt we really want to find out what made that noise."
Enveloped in a heavy coat of fur, the creature lifted its head, as if trying to overhear the humans' conversation. Stealth was easy for the forest creature, as it was the most deadly predator for hundreds of miles around.
Clawed feet, one step at a time, made their way closer to the stench of men. Dark eyes, deep orange irises at their center, scanned the two men as they talked.
"I would trade an arm for a blaster right about now...â€
"No kidding. All I've got is this small vibroblade."
All 180 lbs of its muscular frame crept up to the two men, almost in pouncing distance. Saliva pooled in its mouth, seeping out between well cleaned fangs.
Crouching down, ready for the pounce, the creature anticipated the delicious taste, the crunch of bone, and the raw meat clinging to it.
The animal leapt through the air, mouth wide open, claws reaching out.
Corran, without fully realizing why, ducked at the same instant. Feeling the rush of air pass overhead, and the sound of two bodies colliding, he quickly noticed the forest creature on top of the older man.
Adrenaline rushing into his already quickened heart, Sebastian wrestled with the lithe, yet still powerful creature. Keeping the monster's teeth away from his neck with all his might, he was unable to grab his blade.
Even as he managed to croak, "Help...†he noticed Corran in his peripheral vision. What he was doing, he cared little, as long as it would save him from an untimely death.
Almost stumbling over his own feet, Corran rushed over to aid the man under attack. Armed with nothing but raw strength, he lunged for the creature's neck.
Almost in vain, he attempted to rip into the beast's jugular with his bare hands.
He might have succeeded, had he not felt the rip of his jacket, the stinging in his shoulder, and the brute force that knocked him over.
Searing red light burned a hole through the forest creature. Neatly turning heart to ash, the blaster carbine's bolt hit its mark.
Breathing in short, raspy gasps, Corran felt nothing but pain in his left shoulder. But the fact that he could feel pain, was much better than the alternative.
He looked down at the old man, who was similarly short of breath.
"Sorry! I couldn't get a clear shot at the thing, with you grappling it Corran!" A new voice shouted.
Corran, losing consciousness, managed to stick out his middle finger before collapsing onto the blood-soaked ground.
Marveling at the fact that he was still alive, Sebastian let out a weak laugh.
"Close one, eh?"
"You can say that again." said Corran, as he passed out.
Edited, Sep 12th 2009 11:25am by Kirby
So liek: Star Wars
Chapter One: @#%^ing Awesome
"I couldn't help but notice... a slight change in course."
Slight change. Ha. Hahaha. I'm on a roll.
Low on fuel, pointed in the wrong direction, just a smidge away from our intended destination (..a mere 50,000 kilometres).
Nothing major, for someone as @#%^ing Awesome as myself.
My idiotic friend was about to explain what happened, but he hadn't uttered more than "Uh--" before I interrupted.
"Say no more, I know about the massive battle we just escaped from."
"But--"
"What's that? Did something else go wrong while I was asleep?"
"Not exactly. Ok, maybe."
I raise an eyebrow, while glaring at him (I know, I'm @#%^ing awesome, right?). He sighs.
"We lost our starboard engine."
"Huh. That is exactly something gone wrong. I don't seem to recall us missing a @#%^ing engine before I left the ship to you."
"..."
While I glared at my second in command, I was starting to doubt that we'd make it back to civilization. Well, as close as you can get to civilization in the outer rim.
Oh wait, I've got this. Ha. Doubting myself, how retarded.
Now let me go back in time, 'cuz this can't be making much sense right now.
It does? @#%^ off.
It all started when I was five years old, I wanted to become a starfighter pilot...
No seriously, I had an awesome dream. Lasers and explosions. You get the hologram.
I'd grown up sitting in the cockpit of an old freighter, the one my dad inherited from his father. I know that doesn't exactly qualify me for pilot of the year... but I just felt at home piloting a starship.
Not much to say about my life until I joined the Imperial Naval Academy. Short stay, that was.
I managed to go a whole three weeks without pissing off my instructors. Nope, no revealing story from my past; no explanation for why I'm the **** I am today.
I just am, always was, and will forever be an insensitive prick.
I met this guy during my adventures on the streets of Correlia (read: Homeless), he was looking for a co-pilot. He didn't ask me then, by the way.
It's not like he was looking through all the homeless bums for a trained pilot. He's not that retarded. Close, but not quite there.
I managed to get Kirby (wussy name for a wussy guy, right?) to buy me dinner. A real dinner too, not one of those heat-'em-up-and-choke pieces of crap.
The nerf steak was delicious, though I probably would've said the same thing about mynock tentacles.
I was actually surprised at how passive the guy was (It's very hard to surprise me).
After dinner (I was too busy stuffing my face), Kirby mentioned that he was looking for an experienced pilot. Pay was good, ship (as he described it) was great, and the routes weren't too long.
Now, I'm an honest guy, truly, but this was too good of a deal for me to pass up.
Basically, I lied. I'm not proud of it.
Well, I'm proud of how easy it was for me to come up with a compelling story for my dire situation.
But other than that, no. Not proud.
Long story short, I "regained" my ability to fly a starship, after a few shaky flights.
We'd just gotten a routine set up. He raked in the credits; I asked for a raise after four flights. Everything was going swell until I decided to let him fly the ship.
Now, I'd let him take charge during lift off and landings (basically anything monotonous), and he proved himself to be a fairly average pilot.
He should be fine, travelling through one of the most boring, empty stretches of space, right? Ahaha. Haha. Wrong.
Now let's go back to where I remembered how Awesome I am.
I woke up from my dream (The one I had when I was five, remember? Same one) to the sound of impacts on our hull. Not those little ones you hear when an asteroid bumps into you. More like those deafening ones you hear when a piece of your ship breaks off.
Yeah.
Hurrying from the captain's room, the first thing I see out of the viewport before we escape to hyperspace, was the exact image I had in my dream.
Not the reflection of Kirby frantically pushing buttons in the cockpit, that was lame. Dozens of green and red lasers shooting across space, starfighters exploding into billions of fragments, and an Imperial-class Star Destroyer unleashing its lime-green hell on Rebel ships. Now that was impressive.
Edited, Sep 20th 2009 11:44am by Kirby
Chapter One: @#%^ing Awesome
"I couldn't help but notice... a slight change in course."
Slight change. Ha. Hahaha. I'm on a roll.
Low on fuel, pointed in the wrong direction, just a smidge away from our intended destination (..a mere 50,000 kilometres).
Nothing major, for someone as @#%^ing Awesome as myself.
My idiotic friend was about to explain what happened, but he hadn't uttered more than "Uh--" before I interrupted.
"Say no more, I know about the massive battle we just escaped from."
"But--"
"What's that? Did something else go wrong while I was asleep?"
"Not exactly. Ok, maybe."
I raise an eyebrow, while glaring at him (I know, I'm @#%^ing awesome, right?). He sighs.
"We lost our starboard engine."
"Huh. That is exactly something gone wrong. I don't seem to recall us missing a @#%^ing engine before I left the ship to you."
"..."
While I glared at my second in command, I was starting to doubt that we'd make it back to civilization. Well, as close as you can get to civilization in the outer rim.
Oh wait, I've got this. Ha. Doubting myself, how retarded.
Now let me go back in time, 'cuz this can't be making much sense right now.
It does? @#%^ off.
It all started when I was five years old, I wanted to become a starfighter pilot...
No seriously, I had an awesome dream. Lasers and explosions. You get the hologram.
I'd grown up sitting in the cockpit of an old freighter, the one my dad inherited from his father. I know that doesn't exactly qualify me for pilot of the year... but I just felt at home piloting a starship.
Not much to say about my life until I joined the Imperial Naval Academy. Short stay, that was.
I managed to go a whole three weeks without pissing off my instructors. Nope, no revealing story from my past; no explanation for why I'm the **** I am today.
I just am, always was, and will forever be an insensitive prick.
I met this guy during my adventures on the streets of Correlia (read: Homeless), he was looking for a co-pilot. He didn't ask me then, by the way.
It's not like he was looking through all the homeless bums for a trained pilot. He's not that retarded. Close, but not quite there.
I managed to get Kirby (wussy name for a wussy guy, right?) to buy me dinner. A real dinner too, not one of those heat-'em-up-and-choke pieces of crap.
The nerf steak was delicious, though I probably would've said the same thing about mynock tentacles.
I was actually surprised at how passive the guy was (It's very hard to surprise me).
After dinner (I was too busy stuffing my face), Kirby mentioned that he was looking for an experienced pilot. Pay was good, ship (as he described it) was great, and the routes weren't too long.
Now, I'm an honest guy, truly, but this was too good of a deal for me to pass up.
Basically, I lied. I'm not proud of it.
Well, I'm proud of how easy it was for me to come up with a compelling story for my dire situation.
But other than that, no. Not proud.
Long story short, I "regained" my ability to fly a starship, after a few shaky flights.
We'd just gotten a routine set up. He raked in the credits; I asked for a raise after four flights. Everything was going swell until I decided to let him fly the ship.
Now, I'd let him take charge during lift off and landings (basically anything monotonous), and he proved himself to be a fairly average pilot.
He should be fine, travelling through one of the most boring, empty stretches of space, right? Ahaha. Haha. Wrong.
Now let's go back to where I remembered how Awesome I am.
I woke up from my dream (The one I had when I was five, remember? Same one) to the sound of impacts on our hull. Not those little ones you hear when an asteroid bumps into you. More like those deafening ones you hear when a piece of your ship breaks off.
Yeah.
Hurrying from the captain's room, the first thing I see out of the viewport before we escape to hyperspace, was the exact image I had in my dream.
Not the reflection of Kirby frantically pushing buttons in the cockpit, that was lame. Dozens of green and red lasers shooting across space, starfighters exploding into billions of fragments, and an Imperial-class Star Destroyer unleashing its lime-green hell on Rebel ships. Now that was impressive.
Edited, Sep 20th 2009 11:44am by Kirby
Chapter Two: Hey @#%^tard (In Progress)
From the brief glimpse I got of the battle, I could only assume that a stray turbolaser blast had sheared off our starboard engine. I wasn't about to try and examine the odds of that happening, since even Jabba could've told me that I had the worst luck on this side of the galaxy.
I say me, but really, I mean Kirby. Clearly, I wouldn't have been retarded enough to come out of hyperspace into a warzone.
Apparently, I was wrong. Which is impossible.
The story I heard from Kirby completely blew my mind, figuratively of course (Although I have heard of some alien species that use high frequency sounds to communicate...)
Oh right, Kirby's explanation for the sh*t that happened while I was asleep.
"You're not gonna like this."
"That's most likely true, however, please proceed."
"Ok. You know about the rumours going around, about that giant space station?"
"Mmhmm. The one that apparently," This is where I use air-quotes, "blew up Alderaan?"
"Yeah. That one. That thing exists dude."
Well, I'd normally give him a swift punch to the face for calling me dude, but I let that slide as I considered the possibility of a giant space station, floating through space, destroying entire star systems.
@#%^ing Awesome.
Wait, wait-- wait. Yes, the death of billions of Alderaanians is horrible, but... just think of the sheer power in that station!
I was literally drooling.
While I swiped at the corner of my mouth, Kirby turned back to the controls; He hit a few buttons and brought up the star map.
Edited, Sep 20th 2009 11:44am by Kirby
Edited, Oct 29th 2009 6:25pm by Kirby
From the brief glimpse I got of the battle, I could only assume that a stray turbolaser blast had sheared off our starboard engine. I wasn't about to try and examine the odds of that happening, since even Jabba could've told me that I had the worst luck on this side of the galaxy.
I say me, but really, I mean Kirby. Clearly, I wouldn't have been retarded enough to come out of hyperspace into a warzone.
Apparently, I was wrong. Which is impossible.
The story I heard from Kirby completely blew my mind, figuratively of course (Although I have heard of some alien species that use high frequency sounds to communicate...)
Oh right, Kirby's explanation for the sh*t that happened while I was asleep.
"You're not gonna like this."
"That's most likely true, however, please proceed."
"Ok. You know about the rumours going around, about that giant space station?"
"Mmhmm. The one that apparently," This is where I use air-quotes, "blew up Alderaan?"
"Yeah. That one. That thing exists dude."
Well, I'd normally give him a swift punch to the face for calling me dude, but I let that slide as I considered the possibility of a giant space station, floating through space, destroying entire star systems.
@#%^ing Awesome.
Wait, wait-- wait. Yes, the death of billions of Alderaanians is horrible, but... just think of the sheer power in that station!
I was literally drooling.
While I swiped at the corner of my mouth, Kirby turned back to the controls; He hit a few buttons and brought up the star map.
Edited, Sep 20th 2009 11:44am by Kirby
Edited, Oct 29th 2009 6:25pm by Kirby
Scholar
21 posts
So, are you ever gonna finish that last one?
No, you don't need to answer that. I just felt like being a douche.
No, you don't need to answer that. I just felt like being a douche.
Nah. No more stories for awhile.
You can go ahead and try, though.
You can go ahead and try, though.
Leaning forward on the frosted rail, Kyon realized just how far up he was. He almost pushed himself away from the edge, when he felt Haruhi tackle him from behind.
The force almost knocked the wind out of him, but he managed to keep himself from flipping over the rail.
Kyon took a moment to catch his breath, and turned toward his girlfriend. She's wearing a clergy frock.
His heart beats a little faster as he tries to visualize whether or not she's wearing anything underneath.
"Why are you hanging out up here?" says Haruhi, staring deep into Kyon's soul.
Kyon is mesmerized, her face inches away from his, but shakes his head and replies with, "Getting some fresh air."
Stepping away from Kyon, Haruhi looks like she's sizing him up. Kyon doesn't know if this is a good or bad thing.
"I was looking all over for you." she finally mutters.
"Ah." he grunts. Kyon almost looks like he's blushing, but he covers it up by turning away.
Breaking the awkward silence, Mikuru comes running up the stairs. She wails a pitiful, "Kyon-kun~"
Turning to face her, Kyon couldn't help but feel instantly turned on. Mikuru is wearing a very revealing waitress costume.
They'd gathered up for a Halloween party, so he was expecting a costume.. but not this!
Kyon spends half a second staring at Mikuru's cleavage.. too long for Haruhi's liking, and gets a glare from her.
Looking past Mikuru, reluctantly, Kyon sees Itsuki wearing a skin-tight Robin Hood costume, which Kyon suspects Itsuki got from his Drama club.
Those were fairly standard halloween costumes, but Nagato's... her's was just plain awesome.
Looking down at his own costume, Kyon figured his wasn't too bad either.
"A Samurai?" says Itsuki, his ever cheerful face lifting into a smile. Kyon wonders if Itsuki wants to start a fight.
It's not like Kyon is hiding his katana.
Mikuru interrupted by pulling on Kyon's shoulder, tears trying hard to well up in her eyes. "Kyon-kun~ I have something to tell you."
"What the heck are you talking about?" says Haruhi, her anger rising by the second.
Kyon opened his mouth to respond, but Mikuru blurted out "Classified Information."
Somehow, Mikuru managed to pull Kyon away to a seperate room, where she looked up at him with a pitiful look in her eyes.
"Something dangerous is coming up.." she mumbles.
Kyon, not exactly sure what to say, just stares back at her. The last time Mikuru said something like this, he was told to remember the story of Snow White.
"Do I have to kiss Haruhi again?"
Mikuru blushes fiercely, "N-no, but something will happen between you and Haruhi. I can't say anymore, sorry.."
Kyon sighs, placing his face into his open palm.
Back at the main room, Haruhi is bossing Itsuki around, as usual. This is the SOS Brigade's first Halloween party, so it can't go wrong.
Haruhi notices that Kyon is back, and immediately gets him working on mixing some drinks. It's easy work, but he's jealous of the job Itsuki is doing.
Why Itsuki is taking pictures of Nagato's costume, Kyon has no idea, but it looks a little fun.
Done with the drinks and wanting to cool off, Kyon takes off the top half of his costume, the armor catching his shirt and pulling it off to reveal his toned abs. Before he has time to pull his shirt back down, he notices Haruhi glancing his way.
Kyon laughs to himself. He finishes taking off his armor, making sure Haruhi notices every move.
Haruhi, loooking very turned on, grabs Kyon by the arm and drags him into the stairwell. Kyon barely has a moment to open his mouth before Haruhi's lips meet his.
When they broke the kiss to quench their thirst for air, Haruhi had the cutest look on her face.
"Why can't we do that more often?" he says.
"Shut up." she snaps.
"I love you too."
Ehh, have a nice Halloween, @#%^ers.
Edited, Oct 31st 2009 5:18pm by Kirby
The force almost knocked the wind out of him, but he managed to keep himself from flipping over the rail.
Kyon took a moment to catch his breath, and turned toward his girlfriend. She's wearing a clergy frock.
His heart beats a little faster as he tries to visualize whether or not she's wearing anything underneath.
"Why are you hanging out up here?" says Haruhi, staring deep into Kyon's soul.
Kyon is mesmerized, her face inches away from his, but shakes his head and replies with, "Getting some fresh air."
Stepping away from Kyon, Haruhi looks like she's sizing him up. Kyon doesn't know if this is a good or bad thing.
"I was looking all over for you." she finally mutters.
"Ah." he grunts. Kyon almost looks like he's blushing, but he covers it up by turning away.
Breaking the awkward silence, Mikuru comes running up the stairs. She wails a pitiful, "Kyon-kun~"
Turning to face her, Kyon couldn't help but feel instantly turned on. Mikuru is wearing a very revealing waitress costume.
They'd gathered up for a Halloween party, so he was expecting a costume.. but not this!
Kyon spends half a second staring at Mikuru's cleavage.. too long for Haruhi's liking, and gets a glare from her.
Looking past Mikuru, reluctantly, Kyon sees Itsuki wearing a skin-tight Robin Hood costume, which Kyon suspects Itsuki got from his Drama club.
Those were fairly standard halloween costumes, but Nagato's... her's was just plain awesome.
Looking down at his own costume, Kyon figured his wasn't too bad either.
"A Samurai?" says Itsuki, his ever cheerful face lifting into a smile. Kyon wonders if Itsuki wants to start a fight.
It's not like Kyon is hiding his katana.
Mikuru interrupted by pulling on Kyon's shoulder, tears trying hard to well up in her eyes. "Kyon-kun~ I have something to tell you."
"What the heck are you talking about?" says Haruhi, her anger rising by the second.
Kyon opened his mouth to respond, but Mikuru blurted out "Classified Information."
Somehow, Mikuru managed to pull Kyon away to a seperate room, where she looked up at him with a pitiful look in her eyes.
"Something dangerous is coming up.." she mumbles.
Kyon, not exactly sure what to say, just stares back at her. The last time Mikuru said something like this, he was told to remember the story of Snow White.
"Do I have to kiss Haruhi again?"
Mikuru blushes fiercely, "N-no, but something will happen between you and Haruhi. I can't say anymore, sorry.."
Kyon sighs, placing his face into his open palm.
Back at the main room, Haruhi is bossing Itsuki around, as usual. This is the SOS Brigade's first Halloween party, so it can't go wrong.
Haruhi notices that Kyon is back, and immediately gets him working on mixing some drinks. It's easy work, but he's jealous of the job Itsuki is doing.
Why Itsuki is taking pictures of Nagato's costume, Kyon has no idea, but it looks a little fun.
Done with the drinks and wanting to cool off, Kyon takes off the top half of his costume, the armor catching his shirt and pulling it off to reveal his toned abs. Before he has time to pull his shirt back down, he notices Haruhi glancing his way.
Kyon laughs to himself. He finishes taking off his armor, making sure Haruhi notices every move.
Haruhi, loooking very turned on, grabs Kyon by the arm and drags him into the stairwell. Kyon barely has a moment to open his mouth before Haruhi's lips meet his.
When they broke the kiss to quench their thirst for air, Haruhi had the cutest look on her face.
"Why can't we do that more often?" he says.
"Shut up." she snaps.
"I love you too."
Ehh, have a nice Halloween, @#%^ers.
Edited, Oct 31st 2009 5:18pm by Kirby
A wild Tentacle appears!
boywithoutaspoon wrote:
A wild Tentacle appears!
So how many rounds of molestation must one endure before it stays inside of the pokeball?
Nick crawled up to his Barrett M99, placing his eye on the sight, and honed in on his target. As soon as he heard the designated phrase, he'd pull the trigger. Orders couldn't get simpler than this.
Kyon watched through binoculars as the target exited the newly-arrived vehicle, waiting for just the right moment. He calmly inhaled, thought over the mission parameters, and calmly exhaled.
"Poke it."
Kyon watched through binoculars as the target exited the newly-arrived vehicle, waiting for just the right moment. He calmly inhaled, thought over the mission parameters, and calmly exhaled.
"Poke it."
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