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How To Speak N00b: a GuideFollow

#1 Jun 10 2005 at 3:22 PM Rating: Good
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1,261 posts
I think this is the link: http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111096072971381647&num=72
Taodyn wrote:
Hello, fellow adventurers. During your many travels through our beautiful land of Vana'diel, you may come across a very special and unique creature: the n00b.

The n00b is a remarkable creature as it disguises itself as a regular citizen of Vana'diel. This is the n00b's primary form of attack as it will allow the wily n00b to get quite close to you before inflicting damage. Luckily, their disguises are usually poor and can be identified as their armor may be several levels out of date. Also, the n00b disguise is based on a sad misunderstanding our common culture as their equipment may not reflect the job they are trying to portray.

Be careful not to confuse a n00b with a similar species known as the newb. Newbs can be distinguished from n00bs by their use of proper grammar and good manners.

A n00b can be identified by it's distinct call. This call can be heard from quite a distance as most n00bs seem to only communicate through /shout. If you listen carefully, you may be fortunate enough to spot a n00b.

Here are some examples of common n00b calls:

"PLZ can i hav sum gilz!!!"
"Sum1 buy my sword!!!"
"Ne girlz wanna ciber?!!"

Now, once you have identified a n00b, I must recommend that you stay as far away as possible. Unless you have a great deal of experience with n00bs, any interaction may be harmful to both your physical and mental well being.

If, however, you choose to interact with a n00b, this simple translation guide may help you. Here is a look at a simple conversation with a n00b including a n00b to english translation.

You>> Hello there. How are you?

N00b>> wow u r rich. Can I have gilz? (english: I notice that you have nice gear and wonder if you might be able to aid me in acquiring my own gear)

You>> No, no, good sir. I worked for my gil. You may not have it.

N00b>> but you gotz lotz!!! (english: I understand your feelings on the matter, but find it difficult to actually acquire my own gil)

You>> I know, but I cannot just give you money.

N00b>> N00B!!! (english: apparently I am confused and think you may be a member of my species. Do you know Fred?)

You>> I apologize for the misunderstanding. I am not a n00b.

N00b>> STFU!!! (english: I am of a differing opinion and feel that it might be best if we agree to disagree)

As you can see from the above conversation, interspecies communication with a n00b can prove highly difficult.

In all interactions with a n00b, please take care to leave the n00b as you found it. Their social structure is quite fragile and any assistance you may provide may raise them to a new and dangerous level: the ferocious asshat.

Thank you for your time. Remember: have your n00bs spayed or neutered.


sorry i just had to share this XD

EDIT: Put in original link

Edited, Mon Jun 13 15:39:59 2005 by doomygir
#2 Jun 10 2005 at 4:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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836 posts
WTF J00Z G0NN4 G1V3 m3 S0M3 g1LZORZ 0r WUT?! ^w^
#3 Jun 11 2005 at 2:04 AM Rating: Excellent
49 posts
"Remember: have your n00bs spayed or neutered."

lol, a true classic simply because of that. XD
#4 Jun 11 2005 at 6:04 AM Rating: Excellent
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85 posts
Hehe... great guide:P
i find n00bZ to be somewhat of a plague, and can at times be troublesome. The best way i have found it is to isolate them. Avoid contact if possible!
#5 Jun 13 2005 at 10:04 AM Rating: Excellent
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59 posts
Very good Prof. Dommygir but how about the noobs sickness of spreading NOOBness? The prosses of a n00b getting a newb or educated player to be a n00b.
#6 Jun 13 2005 at 1:17 PM Rating: Excellent
Best way to get rid of these noobs is to elimate their breeding grounds.
The Americans during the early 20th century while digging the Panama canal were plagued with Yellow Fever. This disease was carried by mosquitos which call the swampy area home. By draining the swamps they were able to quell the insect population and thereby saving many thousands of lives.

Therefore, I say we nuke the sh*t out of Valkurm Dunes, Qufim Island and Yuhtunga and Yhoater Jungles.
#7 Jun 13 2005 at 2:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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3,139 posts
Kimss, you should post the link to that thread. There are about 4 or 5 different entries, each one funnier then the next. I have read them several times, but dont have the link at work. If you can search it or find it again, the link is well worth it.


#8 Jun 13 2005 at 2:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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1,261 posts
acepod wrote:
Kimss, you should post the link to that thread. There are about 4 or 5 different entries, each one funnier then the next. I have read them several times, but dont have the link at work. If you can search it or find it again, the link is well worth it.


No worries! I'll edit orig thread & put link up^^
#9 Jun 13 2005 at 2:45 PM Rating: Excellent
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3,139 posts
Thank you, i think ill go back and read it again for some laughes lol.

#10 Jun 13 2005 at 2:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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1,261 posts
lol I had no clue he added more til I went back...

omfg XD

/em dies laughing.

coworker is wondering why I'm laughing so hard...

Edited, Mon Jun 13 15:54:09 2005 by doomygir
#11 Jun 13 2005 at 3:05 PM Rating: Excellent
OMGWTFSEXORZBBQ, harhar, damn n00bs.......hey anyone wanna ciber wit me i gotz my own mog haus.. Rawr!!!!!, I ownz joo now, sweetz you roxorz yous gotz a pea"****" charm....haha, it has **** in it, lolorz it also has pea, can i borrowz teh cockcharmz, i will give it back i just want to see if it willz helpz my lvl 7 beestinger hitz these rumble crawlerz betterz, omgwtf you n00b, i would not steal your charmz!!!!!!!!!!!


Edited, Mon Jun 13 16:07:22 2005 by Proroc
#12 Jun 13 2005 at 3:10 PM Rating: Excellent
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1,261 posts
...
rofl

/em gives Proroc some ritalin
#13 Jun 13 2005 at 3:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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610 posts
Ah just read the whole of this individual's posts. Hysterical! Sadly it is a fact of life that far too many people have come into contact with the n00bs. This is evident by the fact that while using 90% good grammer, U and UR and teh have come into people's language skills. This is a sad state of affairs.

Although, I think the president has authorized N00bonics to be taught in the school systems.
#14 Jun 13 2005 at 4:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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1,261 posts
lol
I apologize for not posting the link, I honestly thought that was the only post he made :P
#15 Jun 13 2005 at 5:43 PM Rating: Excellent
16 posts
Taodyn wrote:
N00b>> N00B!!! (english: apparently I am confused and think you may be a member of my species. Do you know Fred?)


Favorite. Quote. Ever.
#16 Jun 13 2005 at 6:11 PM Rating: Good
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3,033 posts
Pokiehl wrote:
Best way to get rid of these noobs is to elimate their breeding grounds.
The Americans during the early 20th century while digging the Panama canal were plagued with Yellow Fever. This disease was carried by mosquitos which call the swampy area home. By draining the swamps they were able to quell the insect population and thereby saving many thousands of lives.

Therefore, I say we nuke the sh*t out of Valkurm Dunes, Qufim Island and Yuhtunga and Yhoater Jungles.


You could always level your WHM to 40 just so you could spawn Marchulete and then zone it to Selbina.

I remember seeing someone do that when my WAR was 16-17ish. There were so many dead people. Over 25 at least, but more like 50. This is when the Dunes were packed with people and it sometimes took 10 minutes just to pull a mob.
#17 Jun 13 2005 at 7:24 PM Rating: Decent
>_,< your mean, i like using u, r, ur and omg wtf and such like that in chat, in forums it shouldnt be supported but in chat where some asshat in jueno is spamming /sh "buy my sword! 1k under ah price!" typing /sh " OMFG STFU u stupid ***** no one wants your sword" gets your point accross and takes up less chat bar space <which SE should increase>
#18 Jun 13 2005 at 10:31 PM Rating: Decent
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610 posts
Actually I am mean thanks for noticing. LOL ROFLMAO STFU WTF WTH are considered to be legitimite and acceptable forms of slang and should not be confused with n00b speak. Abbreviations are acceptable, just look at the military.

However U UR R are n00b speak. In this individuals opinion. As for the asshats who spam repetitive shouts for teleports, sales and n00b speak are easily dealt with. /blist add "asshat".

As for increasing the chat bar, with spam as bad as it is now, it'd only get worse and uglier with more room to n00bitize my poor eyes with. My mind already feels filthy enough watching the spam roll by. Again, just my opinion.
#19 Jun 14 2005 at 7:46 AM Rating: Decent
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1,261 posts
Papawarlock wrote:
LOL ROFLMAO STFU WTF WTH are considered to be legitimite and acceptable forms of slang and should not be confused with n00b speak.


However, don't forget the infamous

OMFGWTFBBQ?!

<_< I don't consider that legitamate rofl
#20 Jun 14 2005 at 8:59 AM Rating: Decent
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610 posts
Doom
Quote:
OMFGWTFBBQ?!


That's n00bspeak. Pg 203 of the N00bonics-English translation book. Translation- Dude! The black mage just made us Dhalmel Steaks with his Firaga III spell. Nice!
#21 Jun 14 2005 at 9:30 AM Rating: Decent
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1,261 posts
rofl!

hahaha classic.I meant it wasnt legitamate in true online acronym speak. But I had no doubt it was N00bish XD
#22 Jun 14 2005 at 9:33 AM Rating: Decent
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3,139 posts
Quote:
Doom

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OMFGWTFBBQ?!
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That's n00bspeak. Pg 203 of the N00bonics-English translation book. Translation- Dude! The black mage just made us Dhalmel Steaks with his Firaga III spell. Nice!


LOL thats classic i tell ya classic. Im adding it to my sig as soon as im done typeing this.

Ill kindly ask that everyone keep this thread about the Op, and not weather or not some acronyms are acceptable ect. IF you would like to start one of those discussion, the main forum is a great place to do that (your karma will take a hit though).



#23 Jun 20 2005 at 2:09 PM Rating: Decent
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1,261 posts
~~bump!~~ (for reminding everyone that N00bs are everywhere!)
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