Gossip Column 2Follow

Ladles and Jellyspoons
I come before you to stand behind you
To tell you something of which I know nothing about.

It's time for Papa's 2nd Gossip Column with all the news that's unfit for major publications. Full of accusations and defamations.


First of all, Square Enix, in a deliberate attempt to **** off several thousands of 75'rs, decided to reduce the overall experience needed to level from 51-75. When asked why this was done, a corporate official is quoted as saying "Due to the alarming number of dark knights on Vanafare, and the large sacrifice of gilseller souls by Papawarlock, we lowered the xp level. That and we wanted to **** off lots of people at one time."


Due to the abnormally large amounts of downtime in FFXI, over 100 thousand individuals saw the sun for the first time in years in the last few days. Shouts were heard across the globe for Raise III's, teleports and demands that their lives be restored. At the time of this publication, 1/2 these people's lives are still shattered.


There have been rumours of the rising of a new Dark Lord. Barchiel the Leg Humper has been spotted around a newly built campfire. However, due to the quick thinking of several pissed off high level black mages, this new Dark Lord was quickly crispitized. However, ritual sacrificings of lawyers and noobs in hopes of appeasing the Square Gods continues.


Thankfully however the Allakhazam Gods were in a good mood this week and two notable trolls were removed from the boards.


Recently discovered, in one of the new areas unlocked by the recent update, were several Monks that had been sealed in a round room. When the door was opened several of the monks quickly shut the door. Heard from behind the door were several voices shouting in concert "We ain't coming out until we find that bloody black belt +1!"

There is currently a 10 million gil reward for the capture of the hackers who have complicated the lives of hundreds of thousands of addicts. One addict was quoted as saying "We want 'em dead or alive. Preferably Dead."

This concludes this week's gossip column.

Edited, Sat Apr 23 16:48:36 2005 by Papawarlock

4 words:

L M A O

You guys keep your chin up, I'm still wondering about those red mage rip off gear....curses!

-Calvern.