Bear with me as this post is going to be strange...rather then about something physical of FFXI. I'm not much of a philosipher, and this subject has been spoken numerous times, but I wanted to just... say something.
After cruising through....many long boards of "Nerf this job" on Gfaqs..."this HNM LS sucks" on "Allkahazam"...and "WTF is wrong with this person"'s on VN boards, I wanted to write something. I didn't really know what, but I felt like I needed something to be said.
I think people aren't seeing, they're looking.
What I mean is this: FFXI is a world of people. It's like a giant chat game where literally the only interaction is shown on a pixelated screen. It's like an electronic D&D. "Blah blah does so and so damage." *Mob dies.*
Yet, this game can go so far beyond that.
When was the first time you partied with a warrior, not knowing what they did or how they did it, and a monster attacked you. What happened? Most likely, the warrior provoked. Not so much a great memory, is it? But that first time when a mob was wailing on you, killing you, and your butt was saved by some weird circle thingie with a noise, what did you think?
I honestly...don't remember.
And I think that's what's wrong with this game. I think we are looking for more so of what comes from things, not how they got there. I'll never forget walking around in West sarutabaruta, in my first party of an ALLIANCE of 10 people all soloing monsters. We were killing fast for like, 5 exp each. Badass huh? Then one guy got a 17 EXP kill and I was like "! o.O OMG! We need to kill more of those things rather then these bunnies!"
Where am I now?
"Dammit....guys we didn't get the HNM. ****ing <insert LS name here> got it."
"Crap...the NM item didn't drop."
"Son of a .... prices of Utsusemi: Ni for my NIN have skyrocketed. -.-"
It's the way progress is. We become...detached. I am no longer really getting true memories from this game, I'm merely entertaining myself. I literally forgot about one of my good friends on game, whom I have seen practically none in the past week because I've been doing nonstop ZM's for my LS so that, one day, we can hunt gods.
It kinda slapped me yesterday. What happened to the simplicity of enjoying the game from where it was? Sure, it's cool to kill a god. But, wasn't killing bunnies nonstop fun too, although we didn't achieve jack crap?
Do we really always need to achieve something?
I think I understand HNM Leaders now. They come from this, they see the game as one long achievement, only on the extreme side. Shouldn't we all go do something weird, rather then just amusing or something that has a destination? Sometimes, ignorance isn't only bliss, but it's also purifying.
Do yourself a favor. The next time you do something new... be it exploring a CoP zone, or even, maybe, leveling a new job...try to forget what you have achieved. I kinda realize now that feeling has utterly died. But you know, there's somewhat of an innocence and fun to being a noobie. No one really cared when, long ago, the BLM in my party wanted to cure, the WAR wanted to pull, the MNK wanted to tank, and the WHM wanted to nuke with banish. The exp totally sucked...but we were all smiling our noobish smiles. Those kinds of smiles aren't seen much anymore. It's always a rush for some god item, or rare/ex item, or accomplishment instead.
I'm going to go play some with my friend online tonight. I think I had forgotten that perhaps gods aren't what this game are about, and I need to show her that.
I think I need to be shown that, too.
I'll be out nuking mandy's with banish if you need me. ^.~
-Fxeni