So I went away, then I came back.
Then I went away, then I came back.
._.
Any one will think, "What's up with that taru?!"
Well, you have all read the reason I left - TIME.
I have a full time job in a law firm, where my job keeps me for long time after hours, making it impossible for me to participate in 8pm, 9pm events. Forget 6pm...that would mean making myself unavailable at work for some of the Firm's VIPs (Partners) and that can effect my position, not to mention salary.
To be a good HNMLS member, it's all about participation - all-night Sky camp out for trigger NM pop, Dynamis runs, HNM pop calls, etc. It's not just showing up for a god fight...it's the long hard prep work that's more important for a glamourous god fight. And I could not be there for most which bothered me tremendously.
I also missed my life pre-FFXI (do any of you remember what you did before this game?), and I wanted that back...which would mean, MORE events missed, MORE trigger mobs missed, etc. etc.
If I can't participate, it hurts the LS for obvious reasons. A WHM short is that much less Curing, that much more death, and that much less RB3s.
It also hurts me, because I won't acquire enough participation points to get some of the goodies. I don't care about what everybody else has. I don't get jealous about other people's stuff - cuz whatever it is, I'm sure they went thru great trouble to get it, and hence, they deserve it. But I do have a desire for endgame dream gear.
However, if I can't help the LS, be the uber WHM at the side of the leader at all times, if I can't help the members with whatever the needs are....then I should just give up on end game and live the life of 'retired high level'. If I give up, then I won't have a desire for dream gear - I mean, what's the point of Noble's and Zenith, if all I'm going to do is beat up mobs for coffer keys? I'll just wander around, craft, farm, help strangers with whatever...
So I left Ryunoire a quiet note, and put my pearl away, put it atop my maple table as a center piece to my dining set in my moogle house. (I throw away stuff in a strangely personal way...)
But to my surprise, day after day, I got tells from members of EK. People I thought didn't care at all about me. I got tells from some of the best friends in the LS as well...saying that they all missed me, and wanted me to come home. But I kept on saying I couldn't, because it would dissapoint me and the LS.
But this weekend, Ryunoire sent me a tell just to check up on me. She said she missed me, and we joked around a bit about stuff. Then she said EK had plans for a big multiple god fights, and said "I'm gonna die so many times - lol" ... She said "lol"...but I didn't find it funny...you see, I'm a WHM. As a WHM, I couldn't let a friend die. I can't sit around farm sheep knowing that my friends are dead in the sky...
As a WHM, if I can do something to help prevent that I'm gonna do it. I knew that there will probably be a few other WHMs that could RB3, but considering the MP needed to keep everything going, another RB3ing WHM with big MP pool couldn't hurt. More Cure power the better.
Moreover, I couldn't let my friends die.
So I thought, "...for old timessake. Just one more time...". I was bumming around doing nothing anyways.
I promised Ryunoire to come for the big god fights, and then when I finally got there...when they saw me, EVERYONE said welcome back and was happy to see me. I think I got personal /tells from everyone that was there. I thought I was a tiny little speck in the big LS, but I wasn't. I didn't know I was cared by so many! I was so touched, I started to cry. (Hubby thought it was dumb - "Baby, these are toons! Pixels! Data! Fake Stuff!!")
So I decided to come home.
To my little dysfunctional family with strange people that love this game and love the LS. Even though I may not be able to be the uber WHM that I want to be, at least I can be everybody's friend. I think I have finally learned that Eternal Knights is my home.
Finally, and most importantly, I thank you all for your concern and for your kind invitation to your respectable LSs. I was touched by your offers, and to those that I have joined briefly, please do not hesitate to ask me for help. Time allowing, I will do my best to meet your requests. Please feel free to add me on to your friendlist. I always accept them.
I also would like to apologize to those who have offered me a home, and may created somewhat of a turmoil in your LS. I apologize deeply for the trouble I have caused and hope that I am forgiven.
Edited, Mon Mar 7 13:56:16 2005 by uchipu