Quote:
We've been doing MNK vs. DRK and MNK vs. RNG and MNK vs. BLM for who is the best DD for a long time now, and that debate is ongoing and never ending, too many odds and ends factor that kind of thing and it can't just be decided. HOWEVER I can PROVE that MNKS are the best to marry for more than a handful of reasons.
For one, if you are in bed with your husband, you want to feel safe right? Well lets list the reactions a husband from each respective job would have if an intruder came through the window.
BLM : He binds the intruder, panics, casts escape to the in-laws house. Good news: Lives saved. Bad news: House ran sacked, panties confiscated, "home movies" now circulating the net.
BRD : Screams louder than his wife and faints. In the darkness the intruders mistake his soft skin for a woman and abduct the BRD instead of his wife. Bad news: Your husband has softer skin than you do, and he sings pretty. Good news: You're single again, learn from your mistake.
BST : Simply commands the pets to attack and handle his business for him. Good news: Intruders handled, all safe again. Bad news: You had 4 dogs, 6 cats, 3 llamas, 2 sheep, 4 spider monkeys and a dhamel in your bed room. And your husband always smells like pet food zeta biscuits (i won't mention the bug broth he asks you to make).
DRK : For a moment he tries to be brave, then about the time he engages the intruders he realizes his scythe is by his boots, at the front door, and he has no H2H skills. Takes a furious beating. Good news: He tried. Bad news: You end up spamming cures and refresh on him all night while he whimpers about how uber he would have been if he'd had his scythe and asks over and over if you believe him. Also he now insists on sleeping with his Great Sword and Scythe in the bed.
DRG : Attempts to be gallant, but like the DRK, his pole arm is waiting by the door, and he can't call wyvern in doors. Slightly better defense allows for a bit more of a fight than the DRK, but he falls to the assaliants none the less. Good news: Your husband has a pet dragon, and he tried. Bad news: The intruders were hungry after beating down his defense, raid the fridge, once again panty drawer looted.
MNK : Has H2H maxed so his weapons are always on him, beats the intruders sincely and takes them prisoner and turns them into slaves that cook and clean. Good news: You now have live in maids. Your hubby is a mack daddy. Sleeping with a MNK is forbidden fruit and makes it all the better. Bad news: Are you kidding me? NONE.
NIN : Tries to cast utsusemi unsuccesfully as he's getting pummeled, has a few shriuken laying around he throws but it's not enough, and the katanas are in the kitchen where he was using them to make sandwiches. Good news: At least he'll lvl quick caues he'll get invites at a decent rate =/. Bad news: He can make sandwiches with his weapons. And utsusemi affects sexual performance, is it him, or is it his shadow?
PLD : Vokes right off the bat and starts spamming flash and begging for his wife to throw a cure or 2 and zone to the front yard. Good news: He did his job well and allowed you time to zone to the front yard and call for help. Bad news: He dies, as usual and you have to raise him, big mp drain at 3am when you sleepy. Also years and years of wearing too much too heavy armor has shrunk his manhood into but a nub.
RNG : Has no time to equip ranged weapons, melee weapons are in the kitchen in the pairing knife drawer. Takes a furious beating due to no offense and no defense. Good news: You've finally found their weakness and can make fun of him for the rest of his life every time he tries to talk about how good he is with a bow. Just mention how effective he isn't with no bow and only his underwear equipped. Bad news: He didn't die and divorce is expensive, and he gets cockier and cockier with every lvl.
RDM : Quickly sneaks himself and advises you to do the same. You both hide in a corner as your mog is looted. Good news: You didn't marry him for his bravery in the first place. And he'll be pretty strong when he's old as hell. Bad news: You're married to an enfeeble machine, that'll get boring to talk about at the x-mas parties. And he's a lil ****** if you ask him to marinate the same meat twice (we won't talk about how he acts if you ask him to dispel the same mob twice)
SAM : Uses meditate and 3rd eye as soon as he realizes what's going down. However his Great Katana is over his fireplace in a display (because he says the great katana the only good thing about being a sam) and he has no weapon skills in hand to hand, and takes a miserable beating. Good news: If he had had hand to hand WS's and a BLM he could have 2 houred and MB'ed the intruders? Bad news: He doesn't have H2H WS and he got beat down and they stole his uber cool AF helmet.
SMN : Summons Titan to handle business and take care of the intruders, which he does and all is well. Good news: Intruders taken care of. He still has no idea you're asking him to summon Titan all the time to do more than just "trim the hedges". Bad news: He's a pasty mage and you have to pretend to love him or lose the love of your life (Titan) and you're also starting to find Ramuh attractive as well.
THF : He already knows the intruders and invites them in when he sees who they are. He offers to share anything with them. Good news: He's a thief, you knew he was shady, so you must like it. Not only can he pick locks, but he can really do amazing things with your hair too. Bad news: He's shady and he offered to share "everything" with the hooligans.
WAR : He fights them off valiantly and defends your honor. Good news: He's so rough and rugged and strong, everything you want in a man, almost.. Bad news: He's dumb as a brick and invested the savings in Goldsmithing and made 20 sparas and lost everything, welcome to poverty and life on the road.
WHM : Shreeks with fear and hides behind you and offers to haste you if you fight them off. Good news: You won't have to raise him. Bad news: You married a white mage, what were you expecting? You knew they are all moody and irritable half the time before you married him. He still asks if you his dark staff is sexy.
For one, if you are in bed with your husband, you want to feel safe right? Well lets list the reactions a husband from each respective job would have if an intruder came through the window.
BLM : He binds the intruder, panics, casts escape to the in-laws house. Good news: Lives saved. Bad news: House ran sacked, panties confiscated, "home movies" now circulating the net.
BRD : Screams louder than his wife and faints. In the darkness the intruders mistake his soft skin for a woman and abduct the BRD instead of his wife. Bad news: Your husband has softer skin than you do, and he sings pretty. Good news: You're single again, learn from your mistake.
BST : Simply commands the pets to attack and handle his business for him. Good news: Intruders handled, all safe again. Bad news: You had 4 dogs, 6 cats, 3 llamas, 2 sheep, 4 spider monkeys and a dhamel in your bed room. And your husband always smells like pet food zeta biscuits (i won't mention the bug broth he asks you to make).
DRK : For a moment he tries to be brave, then about the time he engages the intruders he realizes his scythe is by his boots, at the front door, and he has no H2H skills. Takes a furious beating. Good news: He tried. Bad news: You end up spamming cures and refresh on him all night while he whimpers about how uber he would have been if he'd had his scythe and asks over and over if you believe him. Also he now insists on sleeping with his Great Sword and Scythe in the bed.
DRG : Attempts to be gallant, but like the DRK, his pole arm is waiting by the door, and he can't call wyvern in doors. Slightly better defense allows for a bit more of a fight than the DRK, but he falls to the assaliants none the less. Good news: Your husband has a pet dragon, and he tried. Bad news: The intruders were hungry after beating down his defense, raid the fridge, once again panty drawer looted.
MNK : Has H2H maxed so his weapons are always on him, beats the intruders sincely and takes them prisoner and turns them into slaves that cook and clean. Good news: You now have live in maids. Your hubby is a mack daddy. Sleeping with a MNK is forbidden fruit and makes it all the better. Bad news: Are you kidding me? NONE.
NIN : Tries to cast utsusemi unsuccesfully as he's getting pummeled, has a few shriuken laying around he throws but it's not enough, and the katanas are in the kitchen where he was using them to make sandwiches. Good news: At least he'll lvl quick caues he'll get invites at a decent rate =/. Bad news: He can make sandwiches with his weapons. And utsusemi affects sexual performance, is it him, or is it his shadow?
PLD : Vokes right off the bat and starts spamming flash and begging for his wife to throw a cure or 2 and zone to the front yard. Good news: He did his job well and allowed you time to zone to the front yard and call for help. Bad news: He dies, as usual and you have to raise him, big mp drain at 3am when you sleepy. Also years and years of wearing too much too heavy armor has shrunk his manhood into but a nub.
RNG : Has no time to equip ranged weapons, melee weapons are in the kitchen in the pairing knife drawer. Takes a furious beating due to no offense and no defense. Good news: You've finally found their weakness and can make fun of him for the rest of his life every time he tries to talk about how good he is with a bow. Just mention how effective he isn't with no bow and only his underwear equipped. Bad news: He didn't die and divorce is expensive, and he gets cockier and cockier with every lvl.
RDM : Quickly sneaks himself and advises you to do the same. You both hide in a corner as your mog is looted. Good news: You didn't marry him for his bravery in the first place. And he'll be pretty strong when he's old as hell. Bad news: You're married to an enfeeble machine, that'll get boring to talk about at the x-mas parties. And he's a lil ****** if you ask him to marinate the same meat twice (we won't talk about how he acts if you ask him to dispel the same mob twice)
SAM : Uses meditate and 3rd eye as soon as he realizes what's going down. However his Great Katana is over his fireplace in a display (because he says the great katana the only good thing about being a sam) and he has no weapon skills in hand to hand, and takes a miserable beating. Good news: If he had had hand to hand WS's and a BLM he could have 2 houred and MB'ed the intruders? Bad news: He doesn't have H2H WS and he got beat down and they stole his uber cool AF helmet.
SMN : Summons Titan to handle business and take care of the intruders, which he does and all is well. Good news: Intruders taken care of. He still has no idea you're asking him to summon Titan all the time to do more than just "trim the hedges". Bad news: He's a pasty mage and you have to pretend to love him or lose the love of your life (Titan) and you're also starting to find Ramuh attractive as well.
THF : He already knows the intruders and invites them in when he sees who they are. He offers to share anything with them. Good news: He's a thief, you knew he was shady, so you must like it. Not only can he pick locks, but he can really do amazing things with your hair too. Bad news: He's shady and he offered to share "everything" with the hooligans.
WAR : He fights them off valiantly and defends your honor. Good news: He's so rough and rugged and strong, everything you want in a man, almost.. Bad news: He's dumb as a brick and invested the savings in Goldsmithing and made 20 sparas and lost everything, welcome to poverty and life on the road.
WHM : Shreeks with fear and hides behind you and offers to haste you if you fight them off. Good news: You won't have to raise him. Bad news: You married a white mage, what were you expecting? You knew they are all moody and irritable half the time before you married him. He still asks if you his dark staff is sexy.
Now, I think it's obvious MNK is the best choice for a hubby, I mean, we're the total package. MNKs for the most part are some of the most humble players, only a few other jobs look for pt like MNKs do (DRG). We're usually rich cause we have plenty of time looking for pt to learn no trades, craft, farm and sale our stuff. It's a no brainer!
