Demon, I've been a friend to you for a long time, but right now, I'm going to be brutally honest:
Everything that has happened to you, is your fault, and the blame lies solely with you.
The only reason you're posting this is to try to justify your actions, and give an example to newbie players. You're just running from your problems, instead of trying to fix them.
Instead of posting this bullsh*t, which you knew 100% that would turn into a small flame war. Also, you knew 100% you were going to reply, and keep using these boards. You could have been:
Reorganizing your macros, in order to make them more efficient.
Could have been honing your skills with your jobs. This would include studying what mob's TP moves give certain effects, figuring out how long each of your spells durations are, making cycles with certain spells, and so on.
So far, I've seen you whining, and expecting handouts, and apologizing to everyone you find. You don't get better, nor do you even attempt to.
Yes, this game is all about reputation. To be honest, if you were the leader of an HNMLS. Would you rather have the:
1) Gimp, that whines, complains, freaks out when something unexpected happens, is sub-par in both equipment and skill.
Or
2) The player with the shining resume. Who does not hesitate, nor freak out. He's very good with his job, and he's a very likeable person who has no apologies, because he's a good, knowledgable player.
So to be honest, all the blame lies on you. You've been given chances from what I have been told. But each time, you fall victim to the same things. Don't apologize, that won't work anymore. What you need to do at this point, is work on your skills, and work on your equipment. THEN, what you need to do is delete your character and have it restored, and change it's name, because right now, people have a BAD taste in their mouths.
I was in a merit party last week, we skipped you over for a RDM, just because of your reputation.
Think about the things everyone's telling you. They're being brutally honest right now. Try to get better, or else things will continue the way they are.
Edited, Jun 9th 2006 at 3:55pm EST by Samano