A Modest ProposalFollow

It is a common these days in the streets of Jeuno and alleyways of the Alla forums to hear complaints of crowding, lag, and of out-of-control inflation of the most popular equipment. Along these same lines one sees outcries against gil-buyers and sellers and the deplorable effect they have on the FFXI economy. Indeed, it is this inflation itself that makes many resort to the act of buying electronic currency.

It cannot be denied that the crowding and lag problems one experiences most often in Jeuno would be alleviated with a reduction of the server’s population. But how is this goal accomplished? Who has to go? My intention is to show that one group would adequately be fit to fulfill this role and furthermore would help reclaim the economy.

The Tarutaru
-Taru are by no means a minority group, however neither are they as dominating as say, the Humes. The number of tarus is quickly gaining on that of Elvaan, most disturbing indeed.
-Taru are small and generally regarded to be “troublesome,” “annoying,” and “vicious.” One could easily not notice one lurking down there and trip, easily causing a train wreck in a place as crowded, again, as Jeuno.
-The Taru, generally more inclined to play the roles of casters, are increasingly finding expenses to weigh heavily on game-time. See: Erase, Raise 3, even the infamous Vermillion Cloak, all greatly desired among casters. Where does this leave the Taru with little time for making money? Yes! Purchase your gil, now more feasible than ever.

How then, does one go about removing them? Certainly it is no easy task getting rid of a Taru. The answer, I’ve found, has been long known.

I have been assured by a very knowing Galkan of my acquaintance, that a healthy Tarutaru is a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, ragout, or creamy Tarutaru sauce.
Due to their small stature most anyone can consume a Taru meal in a single sitting; indeed a Galka of healthy appetite could potentially consume 2, 3, even 4. This method put into widespread use could easily, though they are numerous, dispatch of their ranks.

I think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and many, as well as of the highest importance.

This of course, is a joke, please take it that way. I've taken heavily from the work of Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal. I reccomend anyone not famililar with it, read it. It is a fine example of satire, taken to the extreme, and a good laugh if you have a twisted sense of humor. It's easily found, just Google the title.

Eh, it's in public domain =P Anyone can use it, though they should cite it.

.....

Wolfing starts casting Thunderga

Wanna try that again?

I will second this motion.

you....you.....i know your talking about me -.- and just so you know, i'm very grissly, and nasty, you don't want to eat a taru, they are nasty XD

CHECK THIS OUT:

Roasted Tarutaru-on-a-Stick!!!

This was one of Jonathan Swift's best - right up there with Gulliver's Travels for satire (IMO).

However, rather than eating a Tarutaru; the best way to remove the lag/crowding in Jueno would be to eat/skin the residents of Bastok.
On my server, a /sea all (casino/rude shouter/stander-in-front-of-mog-exit) will usually show Bastok as their home city.

There is no spell called Thunderga. . . You mean thundaga, =p. This of course is my defense to the tarutaru race.

haha i read that last year in ap engrish 11, but yeah~ that wasn't funny AT ALL rwar! /angry /fume /disgusted

/em jumps, latches on to your face, and starts gnawing off your nose!