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#77 Dec 04 2011 at 6:16 PM Rating: Excellent
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Sweetums wrote:
oh god you guys are gonna be so disappointed on your wedding night)[/sm], it was just so ludicrous that laughing was a foregone conclusion.



yeah brings back memories, my first time was with another virgin, and I mean, lesbians don't even really have the "advantage" of seeing ***** sex in movies and such (especially not 10 years ago) nor the easy tab goes in slot thing that hets and even gay guys have going for them, so after rolling around and trying various things we just ended up laughing.

Not even sure it counts as losing virginity since there was no orgasms or penetration even... its pretty fuzzy when yer a ***** lady, but I'll count it anyway.

As to the whole OP, I have to say it is sad to hear you talk about how they felt guilty for straying into handjob territory. I won't judge them for not wanting to do the deed until after they marry but I worry about it being an issue of guilt. If they are holding back because they would feel guilty not holding back, that's pretty unhealthy.

Also I'd like the second the folks talking about what a good idea it is to practice. I personally like being a good lover, and I don't think it hurt my current relationship to have my partner feel happy and fulfilled our first time together. Eagerness and reading can only get you so far.
#78 Dec 04 2011 at 6:19 PM Rating: Excellent
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Sweetums wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Chicks dig the Eiffel Tower.
I really dig taking it up the ***, and then taking it in the @#%^. After some really hot sex, I can have a really hot **** from my hot UTI.


Oh god have a UTI right now the ******* thing won't go away, I don't even know how the hell I got it either. On my second round of antibiotics and its still going strong.

Don't get poo in the pee hole it sucks.
#79 Dec 04 2011 at 6:28 PM Rating: Excellent
Going back to "Don't use **** as a How-To Guide" for guys, the same thing applies to the ladies and our wonderful written girl ****. Romance novels are not written by virgins. They're written by middle aged women living out fantasies through their characters, which is why the heroine is going to ****** three times the first night and the hero is going to have the stamina of a male **** star, all cloaked in funny euphemisms because many women still giggle when they see the word "*****."

One time my husband snuck into one of the stories I was writing and swapped out the word "manhood" for "**** rocket." Smiley: lol
#80 Dec 04 2011 at 9:49 PM Rating: Excellent
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Flea and I actually watched this show tonight. The Christian couple was bizarre in their kissing, especially since the girl said she had kissed before meeting her fiance. And had neither of them ever at least seen a movie or TV show? Well, whatever.

The dude I felt a little bad for since he wasn't a bad guy, just socially inept. A little social filter between his mind and mouth and he'd probably be golden.

The worst was the freakish virgin coven. And the worst part of that trio was the girl who apparently was so hard up to be part of their little clique that she was a "reclaimed virgin" after having banged seven boyfriends. But those idiots made the dude above look like fuckin' Don Draper in comparison.

Edited, Dec 4th 2011 9:49pm by Jophiel
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#81 Dec 05 2011 at 1:19 PM Rating: Excellent
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Ok, serious response to this question. While my view is undoubtedly different from the vast majority of people's, to use a metaphor sex is the emotional glue on the relationship tape which holds a couple together. As in real life if you use and reuse a piece of tape the stickiness that provides its' purpose is diminished. The first time you apply said tape to something it does its' job masterfully. But the more it get pulled off and placed on other items to be held together it eventually becomes ineffective.

Likewise, sex is a bond between two people which is at its' strongest when only used between them. Promiscuously distributed, the emotional component which makes sex more than personal gratification is lost.

As for the show, not having seen it I'd still have to say it is likely typical faire for today's consumner: shallow, misguided, and done in a manner which directs scorn and laughter at the participants rather than celebrating a decision to be true to their spouse.

Totem
#82 Dec 05 2011 at 1:26 PM Rating: Excellent
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Totem wrote:
sex is the emotional glue on the relationship tape which holds a couple together. As in real life if you use and reuse a piece of tape the stickiness that provides its' purpose is diminished.

On the other hand, glue works pretty much every time out of the bottle. Unless you let it sit too long without using it; then it gets all gummy and ineffective.

So I agree with your analogy Smiley: thumbsup
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#83 Dec 05 2011 at 1:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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Velcro ftw
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#84 Dec 05 2011 at 1:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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ITT: Joph has a bottle full of sex.
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#85 Dec 05 2011 at 1:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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okay need to know now what does ITT stand for, been wondering a long time
#86 Dec 05 2011 at 1:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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In This Thread, we discuss Joph's Sex Bottle.
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#87 Dec 05 2011 at 1:31 PM Rating: Decent
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Jophiel wrote:
Totem wrote:
sex is the emotional glue on the relationship tape which holds a couple together. As in real life if you use and reuse a piece of tape the stickiness that provides its' purpose is diminished.

On the other hand, glue works pretty much every time out of the bottle. Unless you let it sit too long without using it; then it gets all gummy and ineffective.

So I agree with your analogy Smiley: thumbsup

On a related note sex juices make a fairly effective glue if left to dry.
#88 Dec 05 2011 at 1:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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In This Thread.

edit: ITT: I am too slow with posting.

Edited, Dec 5th 2011 8:35pm by Aethien
#89 Dec 05 2011 at 1:42 PM Rating: Good
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:

ITT: I am too slow with posting.


#90 Dec 05 2011 at 1:45 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jimpadan wrote:
On a related note sex juices make a fairly effective glue if left to dry.

You ate a lot of paste as a child, din't you?
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#91 Dec 05 2011 at 1:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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Apparently paste is good for your skin too.

Edited, Dec 5th 2011 1:57pm by Xsarus
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#92 Dec 05 2011 at 1:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jimpadan wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Totem wrote:
sex is the emotional glue on the relationship tape which holds a couple together. As in real life if you use and reuse a piece of tape the stickiness that provides its' purpose is diminished.

On the other hand, glue works pretty much every time out of the bottle. Unless you let it sit too long without using it; then it gets all gummy and ineffective.

So I agree with your analogy Smiley: thumbsup

On a related note sex juices make a fairly effective glue if left to dry.


God knows when I was 14 and making arts and crafts my first thought was, "LETS GLUE IT WITH SPERM!"
#93 Dec 05 2011 at 2:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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Looking back, at age 14 I probably would have humped a woman made of elbow macaroni and glitter.


I bet it'd be like nailing like Ke$ha chick.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#94 Dec 05 2011 at 2:06 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Looking back, at age 14 I probably would have humped a woman made of elbow macaroni and glitter.


I bet it'd be like nailing like Ke$ha chick.


I'd at very least hope some of it was cooked, just for comfort's sake.
#95 Dec 05 2011 at 2:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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ArexLovesPie wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Looking back, at age 14 I probably would have humped a woman made of elbow macaroni and glitter.


I bet it'd be like nailing like Ke$ha chick.


I'd at very least hope some of it was cooked, just for comfort's sake.

Have you ever tried to glue cooked noodles?
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#96 Dec 05 2011 at 3:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
ArexLovesPie wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Looking back, at age 14 I probably would have humped a woman made of elbow macaroni and glitter.


I bet it'd be like nailing like Ke$ha chick.


I'd at very least hope some of it was cooked, just for comfort's sake.

Have you ever tried to glue cooked noodles?


with *****?
#97 Dec 05 2011 at 4:13 PM Rating: Good
Sweetums wrote:
Quote:
Isn't this something a couple should discuss before they married anyway?
This isn't "pile on you because you're a virgin" hour, but you can't really gauge sexual compatibility without some sort of sexual contact.


Insert joke about conception here.

Or just kind of wiggle it around in the general area.
#98 Dec 05 2011 at 4:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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Just the tip.
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#99 Dec 05 2011 at 4:25 PM Rating: Good
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
ITT: I am too slow with posting.



Smiley: motz Dammit, I'm too slow again!
#100 Dec 05 2011 at 4:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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Olorinus wrote:
Elinda wrote:
ArexLovesPie wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Looking back, at age 14 I probably would have humped a woman made of elbow macaroni and glitter.


I bet it'd be like nailing like Ke$ha chick.


I'd at very least hope some of it was cooked, just for comfort's sake.

Have you ever tried to glue cooked noodles?


with *****?


We're onto something here. Who knows that legal jargon and can get a patent started?
#101 Dec 05 2011 at 5:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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Patent submitted, under the name bloodleoodle. I hope I'm not rejected due to prior art.
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