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Hey, we proles have polls againFollow

#1 Jul 12 2011 at 9:25 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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Was that announced? Maybe I missed a memo.

Which would you rather fight to the death in an empty storage shed?
A midget with a knife and nothing left to lose:23 (57.5%)
An enraged spider monkey driven by a thirst for blood:17 (42.5%)
Total:40
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#2 Jul 12 2011 at 9:55 AM Rating: Excellent
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If you're more of a visual person:
Peter Dinklage

VS
Spider Monkey
#3 Jul 12 2011 at 10:09 AM Rating: Excellent
Truth in Custom Titles
#4 Jul 12 2011 at 10:20 AM Rating: Excellent
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MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles

Well, Joph might be a liberal conspiracy, but that doesn't really have much to do with monkeys or midgets. Smiley: nod
#5 Jul 12 2011 at 10:23 AM Rating: Excellent
LockeColeMA wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles

Well, Joph might be a liberal conspiracy, but that doesn't really have much to do with monkeys or midgets. Smiley: nod

Oh, did he post, too? I hadn't noticed, what with all the obnoxious image linking.
#6 Jul 12 2011 at 10:28 AM Rating: Good
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Midget all the way. I'm confident I can get the knife from him and make with the stabbing.

I don't think I could effectively strangle an enraged spider monkey.
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#7 Jul 12 2011 at 10:40 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles
So, what shall be Moe's 10k title?

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#8 Jul 12 2011 at 10:42 AM Rating: Good
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Well, enraged as in just super pissed off, or Hulk enraged with super strength?
#9 Jul 12 2011 at 10:45 AM Rating: Excellent
Elinda wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles
So, what shall be Moe's 10k title?


We
#10 Jul 12 2011 at 10:59 AM Rating: Good
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I've fought a drunk midget, I'd rather take my chances with the monkey.
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#11 Jul 12 2011 at 1:43 PM Rating: Good
Can I toss someone inside instead of me going in?
Nixnot come here!
#12 Jul 12 2011 at 1:47 PM Rating: Excellent
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Tailmon wrote:
Can I toss someone inside instead of me going in?

Both the midget and monkey requested it.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#13 Jul 12 2011 at 1:48 PM Rating: Good
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The monkey, unless it has a disease. If it had a disease it would win in the long run.
#14 Jul 12 2011 at 11:11 PM Rating: Excellent
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That was one of the new forum revamp features. You do have to have at least 25 posts to make polls, the intent of that being to minimize driveby survey posters
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#15 Jul 13 2011 at 8:49 AM Rating: Good
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Joph has passed that number by 2129.2x
#16 Jul 13 2011 at 10:03 AM Rating: Decent
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I've heard that chimps are 6 times as strong as a human of the same weight but not sure if that applies to all primates. If so then I'd still have to say midget. I think it would be easier to step on the midget and pin him than a tiny spider monkey who undoubtedly has aids, if you believe it came from monkeys and wasn't engineered that is.
#17 Jul 13 2011 at 10:10 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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New World monkeys are actually resistant to HIV, having developed into a separate group from the Old World primates (including humans).
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#18 Jul 13 2011 at 1:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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MoebiusLord wrote:
Elinda wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles
So, what shall be Moe's 10k title?


Likes Hugs
#19 Jul 13 2011 at 2:04 PM Rating: Excellent
Exodus wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Elinda wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles
So, what shall be Moe's 10k title?


Likes Hugs

How about F'uck You?
#20 Jul 13 2011 at 3:48 PM Rating: Good
Jimpadan wrote:
I've heard that chimps are 6 times as strong as a human of the same weight but not sure if that applies to all primates. If so then I'd still have to say midget. I think it would be easier to step on the midget and pin him than a tiny spider monkey who undoubtedly has aids, if you believe it came from monkeys and wasn't engineered that is.


Six times as strong at the same body weight? And you believed that?

Muscle tissue doesn't work that way.
#21 Jul 13 2011 at 4:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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The Straight Dope wrote:
It's a lot easier to get a chimp in roller skates than it is to get him to pump iron — hence, most of the data on chimp strength is anecdotal and decidedly unscientific. In tests at the Bronx Zoo in 1924, a dynamometer — a scale that measures the mechanical force of a pull on a spring — was erected in the monkey house. A 165-pound male chimpanzee named "Boma" registered a pull of 847 pounds, using only his right hand (although he did have his feet braced against the wall, being somewhat hip, in his simian way, to the principles of leverage). A 165-pound man, by comparison, could manage a one-handed pull of about 210 pounds. Even more frightening, a female chimp, weighing a mere 135 pounds and going by the name of Suzette, checked in with a one-handed pull of 1,260 pounds. (She was in a fit of passion at the time; one shudders to think what her boyfriend must have looked like next morning.) In dead lifts, chimps have been known to manage weights of 600 pounds without even breaking into a sweat. A male gorilla could probably heft an 1,800-pound weight and not think twice about it.

That was in the 1970's so there's probably some more extensive data by now. Chimps may not be 6x stronger than humans but they are definitely much stronger. Of course, spider monkeys ain't chimpanzees.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#22REDACTED, Posted: Jul 13 2011 at 4:35 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) my moooooother waaaaassss a tailor, she sewed my new blue jeans, my faaaaatherr was a gambling man, down in new orleans
#23REDACTED, Posted: Jul 13 2011 at 4:36 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) and the OOOOOONNNLLLLLLYYYYYYYTIIIIIIIMMMEEEE HE'S SATISFIED IS when he's on a drunk
#24 Jul 13 2011 at 4:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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MoebiusLord wrote:
Exodus wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Elinda wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles
So, what shall be Moe's 10k title?


Likes Hugs

How about F'uck You?


Not without a hug first, sexy. Smiley: wink
#25 Jul 13 2011 at 5:06 PM Rating: Good
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I want to see a midget fight. Is that so wrong?
#26 Jul 14 2011 at 8:02 AM Rating: Good
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MoebiusLord wrote:
Elinda wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
Truth in Custom Titles
So, what shall be Moe's 10k title?


We Disingenuous Pricks

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