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#152 Jun 17 2011 at 1:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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varusword75 wrote:
How many fairies, goblins, elves, trolls, dwarves, giants, and gnomes with magical powers can you recount in the new testament?
You mean like David and Goliath?
varus wrote:
Quote:
However, only a small number of the stories refer to fairies.
You also forget this part of what you posted.

Edited, Jun 17th 2011 3:31pm by lolgaxe
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#153 Jun 17 2011 at 1:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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varusword75 wrote:
lolga,

Quote:
The bible is a collection of short allegorical narratives making moral points.


So when do the talking animals come in?


Genesis 3:1 wrote:
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
Numbers 22:27-28 wrote:
When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff. Then the LORD opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?”
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#154 Jun 17 2011 at 1:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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varusword75 wrote:
How many gnomes with magical powers can you recount in the new testament?
Just one, but man, could he do a lot of stuff. He was an alchemist (water to wine), a cleric (healed lepers and ****), and an illusionist (walked on water). Someone should have told him that multi-classing isn't usually the way to go.
#155REDACTED, Posted: Jun 17 2011 at 1:31 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) lolga,
#156REDACTED, Posted: Jun 17 2011 at 1:32 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) Ash,
#157 Jun 17 2011 at 1:32 PM Rating: Excellent
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How bout Samson's magic hair? Or the pillar of salt incident? Or Moses with the plagues and Red Sea business? Or the fantastical prophecies of Revelation?
#158 Jun 17 2011 at 1:33 PM Rating: Excellent
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varusword75 wrote:
Ash,

So now Jesus was a gnome. You're having a bad day aren't you?
He was pretty ******* short. I saw the Shroud of Turin.
#159 Jun 17 2011 at 1:35 PM Rating: Good
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#160 Jun 17 2011 at 1:37 PM Rating: Good
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That's not an arm wrestle. They're joining forces to delude people the world over.
#161 Jun 17 2011 at 1:38 PM Rating: Good
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They're congratulating each other on the ultimate troll.
#162 Jun 17 2011 at 1:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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varusword75 wrote:
People can be over 7ft tall an be real in case you didn't know.
Goliath was said to be 6 cubits and a span (a cubit was roughly 18 inches, a span about 9 inches), so Goliath would be about 177 inches tall, or 14.75 feet tall.
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George Carlin wrote:
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#163 Jun 17 2011 at 1:43 PM Rating: Excellent
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Revelation wrote:
In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

“‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’ who was, and is, and is to come.”
[...]
As I watched, I heard an eagle that was flying in midair call out in a loud voice: “Woe! Woe! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth, because of the trumpet blasts about to be sounded by the other three angels!”
[...]
A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born. She gave birth to a son, a male child, who “will rule all the nations with an iron scepter.” And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.

Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#164 Jun 17 2011 at 1:51 PM Rating: Good
varusword75 wrote:
lolga,

Quote:
The bible is a collection of short allegorical narratives making moral points.


So when do the talking animals come in?

Balaam's donkey, moron.
#165 Jun 17 2011 at 3:26 PM Rating: Decent
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Is it just me, or does Jesus look suspiciously like Corey Feldman?


On a side note, God should totally take the "talking donkey" act on the road or something!
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#166 Jun 17 2011 at 3:55 PM Rating: Decent
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I don't know about Corey; I was going to point out at least this Jesus isn't blond and blue-eyed, but should probably be darker of skin.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#167 Jun 17 2011 at 4:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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"Yahweh's Traveling Donkey Show" sounds like a smash Broadway hit.
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George Carlin wrote:
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#168 Jun 17 2011 at 5:22 PM Rating: Decent
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lolgaxe wrote:
"Yahweh's Traveling Donkey Show" sounds like a smash Broadway hit.

Produced by Kevin Smith, featuring Dante Hicks, Randal Graves and Kinky Kelly!
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#169 Jun 19 2011 at 4:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
I feel like all posters coming to the Asylum for the first time should get a cartoon image of the posters here.


Well, there's this one of gbaji (Olde drawing is olde):

Screenshot


I'll draw the others eventually. Smiley: laugh
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#170 Jun 19 2011 at 7:47 PM Rating: Good
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Friar Bijou wrote:
LockeColeMA wrote:
I feel like all posters coming to the Asylum for the first time should get a cartoon image of the posters here.


Well, there's this one of gbaji (Olde drawing is olde):

Screenshot


I'll draw the others eventually. Smiley: laugh


But he doesn't get his news from anywhere!
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Just as Planned.
#171 Jun 19 2011 at 8:26 PM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
But he doesn't get his news from anywhere!


Silly TLW...that stack of authors provides him with ideas. Unfortunately for him, ideas != facts.
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remorajunbao wrote:
One day I'm going to fly to Canada and open the curtains in your office.

#172 Jun 19 2011 at 10:14 PM Rating: Decent
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AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
varusword75 wrote:
Ash,

So now Jesus was a gnome. You're having a bad day aren't you?
He was pretty @#%^ing short. I saw the Shroud of Turin.


...and when was this? I don't recall letting you near it.
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