Snorre wrote:
Eske - I can't begin to understand your situation but I, too, have had a combative mother (i.e., slightly loony) over the years. Thankfully, over time, she has mellowed out (she's in her early 70s now) and things have been better between us. It helps that we live on opposite sides of the country. Nothing has to ever be set in stone or be so final. At a certain point, it doesn't matter who is wrong or who is right - forgiveness, understanding, and acceptance can go a long way to beat out a lifetime of possible regret with that relationship (or the collateral damage to the relationship with your father). Possibly something to consider down the road. Whether that can apply to your situation or not at this time or ever I don't know - it never hurts to take a break from people to sort things out. I wish you all the best and hope that things work out for you either way.
Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I'm not setting anything in stone. But with my mother, there's never been any forgiveness, understanding, or acceptance. She's stubborn as a mule, and has always been willing to disown me before she'd ever consider apologizing for something, no matter how insignificant. There's never any mutual compromise; you either take full blame for the issue, or you get cut off completely.
I can say with near 100% certainty that she'll never forgive or understand this separation. She'll hold her ground until her death. I could try to make things up with her in the future, but she'd try to make me pay dearly for it, and I'd get nothing in return. I've done that song and dance hundreds of times.
For the foreseeable future, I'm better off on my own. I'm actually doing pretty well.
Thanks for the support though, guys!