http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/01/11/missouri.ferret.fingers/index.html
(CNN) -- A 4-month-old baby boy from Grain Valley, Missouri, was in critical condition after a family pet ferret ate seven of the infant's fingers, and the boy's parents are under investigation for neglect and failure to obtain a $100 license for the exotic pet, police chief Aaron Ambrose told CNN Tuesday.
I really liked this part:
The parents said "they never heard the baby crying" until late into the ordeal, Ambrose said.
I'm chalking it up to the meth slumber. JFC, what the hell is wrong with people?
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What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
This is what happens when you forget to wipe the kid's hands clean.
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
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Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
A ferret is an exotic pet? Huh, never knew that.
Quote:
The parents said "they never heard the baby crying" until late into the ordeal
"Never heard"? How about "ignored" the crying. That boy must have been screaming its lungs out at the ferret's first nibble.
Hence wrote:
Quote:
The parents said "they never heard the baby crying" until late into the ordeal
"Never heard"? How about "ignored" the crying. That boy must have been screaming its lungs out at the ferret's first nibble.
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Elinda wrote:
Hence wrote:
Quote:
The parents said "they never heard the baby crying" until late into the ordeal
"Never heard"? How about "ignored" the crying. That boy must have been screaming its lungs out at the ferret's first nibble.
It's easy to miss a baby crying all the way across a double wide.
Man, I love stories about infants being injured. It's too bad he wasn't raped and killed or this would REALLY be worth posting about.
:)
:)
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
So, who do we point the finger at in this thread?
... oh, sorry, was that pun in poor taste?
Man, I've got these puns under my thumb today!
Heh, you suckers can't rate me down. Xsarus can though, and probably will. Jerk. I'll unleash ferrets upon him! Or borrow Kao's wombats...
... oh, sorry, was that pun in poor taste?
Man, I've got these puns under my thumb today!
Heh, you suckers can't rate me down. Xsarus can though, and probably will. Jerk. I'll unleash ferrets upon him! Or borrow Kao's wombats...
Weasels are shitty pets, who knew?
"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin
Omegavegeta wrote:
Weasels are shitty pets, who knew?
But, it was a ferret, not a weasel. TOTALLY difernt.
Smasharoo wrote:
Man, I love stories about infants being injured. It's too bad he wasn't raped and killed or this would REALLY be worth posting about.
My baby's around this age so it's hard for me to find it funny.
I probably could have gotten behind a thread about ferret-baby rape, though.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
When my first kid was a wee baby, I caught my cat in her crib. The cat and I both decided it might be better for her (the cat not the kid) to live elsewhere after that.
I can almost imagine someone who's had a pet ferret for awhile, now has added a baby to the household and simply failed to understand that babies are food for ferrets. It's dumb but people are mostly dumb.
I mean yeah, it's negligent, but not intentionally negligent.
I can almost imagine someone who's had a pet ferret for awhile, now has added a baby to the household and simply failed to understand that babies are food for ferrets. It's dumb but people are mostly dumb.
I mean yeah, it's negligent, but not intentionally negligent.
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Elinda wrote:
When my first kid was a wee baby, I caught my cat in her crib. The cat and I both decided it might be better for her (the cat not the kid) to live elsewhere after that.
I'm pretty sure your cat was only trying to stare your kid to death, that or intercept all milk deliveries.
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
Or protect her from wall trolls.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Joph wrote:
Or protect her from wall trolls.
Cat's Eye rules.
"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin
Omegavegeta wrote:
Joph wrote:
Or protect her from wall trolls.
Cat's Eye rules.
Just don't smoke while watching it.
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
Jophiel wrote:
Or protect her from wall trolls.
No no! Cats suck the souls (and breath) out of sleeping babies. Don't you know anything?
King Nobby wrote:
More words please
gbaji wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Or protect her from wall trolls.
No no! Cats suck the souls (and breath) out of sleeping babies. Don't you know anything?
I think they are more likely to prevent it from leaving the body than sucking it out.
Edited, Jan 12th 2011 5:55pm by Shaowstrike
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
Jophiel wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
Man, I love stories about infants being injured. It's too bad he wasn't raped and killed or this would REALLY be worth posting about.
My baby's around this age so it's hard for me to find it funny.
I probably could have gotten behind a thread about ferret-baby rape, though.
**** changes when you have a bambino. It's stories like these that make me stay the hell away from the news as much as possible. Im happy in my ignorance.
Hey, nice marmot!
Love,
PunkFloyd
PunkFloyd
Lady DSD wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
Man, I love stories about infants being injured. It's too bad he wasn't raped and killed or this would REALLY be worth posting about.
My baby's around this age so it's hard for me to find it funny.
I probably could have gotten behind a thread about ferret-baby rape, though.
sh*t changes when you have a bambino. It's stories like these that make me stay the hell away from the news as much as possible. Im happy in my ignorance.
I dunno, after having Thom I've come to appreciate dead baby jokes more...
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
gbaji wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Or protect her from wall trolls.
No no! Cats suck the souls (and breath) out of sleeping babies. Don't you know anything?
Jeez, why don't they train the ferret better anyways?
Should have trained the baby to keep its fingers out of the ferret.
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
lolgaxe wrote:
Should have trained the baby to keep its fingers out of the ferret.
I figure if a 5 year old girl can train a kleptomaniac weasel by saying "Swiper no swiping", it'd be easier to train the ferret the same way.
manicshock wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Should have trained the baby to keep its fingers out of the ferret.
I figure if a 5 year old girl can train a kleptomaniac weasel by saying "Swiper no swiping", it'd be easier to train the ferret the same way.
Swiper's a fox you dipshit.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
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