Leave me alone.
Srsly.
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Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
They are just reacting to the Atheist push against religion...
Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
Back in early 90's we live not too far from one of the JW halls in the city. They would be out ringing bells every Sunday and only way to ward yourself from them is to put up a No Solicitor, Jehovah Witness sign on door.
Now they only come knocking on my door every few month. I figure myself lucky if 4 months go by and they don't come around the neighborhood.
Now they only come knocking on my door every few month. I figure myself lucky if 4 months go by and they don't come around the neighborhood.
In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair! -ElneClare
This Post is written in Elnese, If it was an actual Post, it would make sense.
This Post is written in Elnese, If it was an actual Post, it would make sense.
1. Invite inside for meal, and eat.
2 Listen intently to everything they say.
3. Ask them if your current religious practice that involves eating human flesh with every meal can be carried over.
4. ???
5.Profit.
2 Listen intently to everything they say.
3. Ask them if your current religious practice that involves eating human flesh with every meal can be carried over.
4. ???
5.Profit.
Just as Planned.
-REDACTED-
Scholar
1,150 posts
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Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:58pm by ShadorVIII
Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:58pm by ShadorVIII
Answer the door naked. Invite them inside for a drink.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Debalic wrote:
Answer the door naked. Invite them inside for a drink.
This actually happened once, I was lmao after they told me the story.
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
I haven't have a JW caller since... the 90's. I didn't even know they actually still did that as opposed to it just being a holdover joke.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
I used to get them about once a month. I put up a "No soliciting" sign, which they ignored. I put up a "No Jehovahs's Witnesses" sign, which cut their visits down to about twice a year. The last two visits were by the same individual. The first time he came, I told him, quite rudely to not come back.
When he did, and I realized it was the same guy, I went out the back door, got the garden hose and hosed him down. Haven't seen him since.
When he did, and I realized it was the same guy, I went out the back door, got the garden hose and hosed him down. Haven't seen him since.
Deathwysh wrote:
When he did, and I realized it was the same guy, I went out the back door, got the garden hose and hosed him down. Haven't seen him since.
Win.
We have some JW around here. I see them biking around sometimes. A few months ago it was my street's turn to be invaded. I just stayed upstairs in my bedroom until they left.
Jophiel wrote:
I haven't have a JW caller since... the 90's. I didn't even know they actually still did that as opposed to it just being a holdover joke.
They were probably frightened off by your almost fanatical devotion to the pope.
-REDACTED-
Scholar
1,150 posts
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Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:59pm by ShadorVIII
Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:59pm by ShadorVIII
It could be Mormons, but I've not seen a Mormon church around here. There *is* a JW... church? Center? Whatever they call 'em.
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Scholar
1,150 posts
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Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:59pm by ShadorVIII
Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:59pm by ShadorVIII
A very long driveway and keeps all but the most persistant God salesman away from our place.
Either that or its the extremely fluffy but very loud dog that stops them wasting my time.
Either that or its the extremely fluffy but very loud dog that stops them wasting my time.
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
Last time we had them, I explained that I had been Discordian after I recovered from my cradle Catholicism, then I discovered Pastafarianism for a while, but these days I'm just plain old agnostic, and me and God are finally on good terms now, and I'd rather not risk ruining that relationship by trying yet another experimental religion.
They left.
They left.
The One and Only ShadorVIII wrote:
Perhaps you live in an excessively rural area?
I'm not sure I'd rate the Chicago suburban area as "excessively rural" but maybe they're scared off by strip malls.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
In the 14 years I've lived here, I've had one JW show up at my door. And it was just a month ago. A young black man walked up to my door and handed me an invite to a "festival" of some sort. He didn't do anything other than say there will be a gathering, and I should come, and walked off. I didn't know he was JW until I read the flyer after he walked off.
Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
paulsol wrote:
A very long driveway and keeps all but the most persistant God salesman away from our place.
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
I actually don't mind their visits, mostly because I often have fun with them.
One time I yelled to my brother, with them in the doorway: "Ahmed, hide the components! We have guests! Come on in, salaam alejkum. Don't mind all the wires, we are working on a... project."
Another time I was having a shower when they knocked and I had only just put my trousers on. Normally I wouldn't open like that but I recognized one of them. "Have you found god?", I replied:"No! Come help me find him".
For next time I am planning on using faux german accent and mentioning Klaus Barbie in every other sentence. Or just going for german gay guy: "Do you verk out? You look very fit, yes indeed. I love vat you have done with ze suit, is this maple syrup braun?"
One time I yelled to my brother, with them in the doorway: "Ahmed, hide the components! We have guests! Come on in, salaam alejkum. Don't mind all the wires, we are working on a... project."
Another time I was having a shower when they knocked and I had only just put my trousers on. Normally I wouldn't open like that but I recognized one of them. "Have you found god?", I replied:"No! Come help me find him".
For next time I am planning on using faux german accent and mentioning Klaus Barbie in every other sentence. Or just going for german gay guy: "Do you verk out? You look very fit, yes indeed. I love vat you have done with ze suit, is this maple syrup braun?"
I find a simple moat to be a more land-efficient deterrent.
I'm not very original, I just shut the door and move on with my life.
Love,
PunkFloyd
PunkFloyd
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Scholar
1,150 posts
Nothing was said here.
Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:59pm by ShadorVIII
Edited, Sep 27th 2010 6:59pm by ShadorVIII
Huh. I thought JW didn't celebrate anything, even religious stuff. I was misinformed, it seems.
Nadenue wrote:
Huh. I thought JW didn't celebrate anything, even religious stuff. I was misinformed, it seems.
Well, I know they don't celebrate the *pagan* holidays, Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc.
We used to have a JW lady that came around here, mainly to talk to my mother. Once my mother made it clear she wasn't going to renounce her holidays, she stopped coming by as much. She still drops off literature every now and again.
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome. ~River Tam
Sedao
Sedao
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Scholar
1,150 posts
Nothing was said here.
Edited, Sep 27th 2010 7:00pm by ShadorVIII
Edited, Sep 27th 2010 7:00pm by ShadorVIII
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