Debalic wrote:
ElneClare wrote:
I saw an article on this in the NYT's. It makes sense if someways, since divorce is just about the fastest way for women and children to join the ranks of poor in the USA, but I found myself far better off divorce. Just knowing he can't hold any power over me now that are kids are grown up is a blessing each day.
One thing I don't understand - and I probably asked this before - why do the children automatically go to the mother? What if, say, the mother being a lazy deabeat is the cause?
Mom:
Cheated on dad for two years
Would leave us home alone while he was working at night
Got surprise drug test in court she failed
Tried to commit suicide when the custody battle fell out of her favor
Dad:
80% earner, no infidelity, and the drug test was his lawyer's idea so he stopped smoking pot for a month so we wouldn't have to go live with a methfreak. My dad had custody of me from 12-18 and my sister from 11-15, although she got farmed off to mom when she turned out just like her.
From what I remember, even 12 years ago, the judge noted how hard it was to my father to take custody away from the mother, but he knew it was obviously the better option. He had to cut a good deal with her to get her to stop fighting, though: No child support (well, $1/year that she never paid), and she gets half of his 401k when he retires. They filed for bankruptcy soon before their divorce so there were really no assets to throw around but us (and his retirement), and my dad ended up getting the short end of the stick anyway.
My mother spent more time with us for sure, but being her being tweaked and making us hang out with her boyfriend and lie to my dad about it afterward wasn't really "quality". I hope it really wasn't that weighty of a decision for the judge, because if he would have given us to our mother by default I really would be a stripper with coke lines down my *** and married to Barkingturtle.