Samira wrote:
It isn't automatic. It's a decision that the judge makes, or at which the parties arrive on their own. If the judge believes the father is a better choice, he can certainly rule that way.
Traditionally the default was to have the mother host the kids because she was less likely to be working outside the home and was viewed as their primary care giver. That is changing, however.
It is nearly automatic. There are exceptions, but the norm is to default to the mother. My son's mother was/is a deadbeat, but she didn't work so she must be the better option right? The judge looked at me before anyone had spoke and said "You're not getting custody". This after her lawyer managed to get the judge switched because the previous judge caught her in a lie (she contradicted the first part of a sentence with the last part of the same sentence, she's a little slow). I was then ordered to pay back child support for a year (I'd already payed double this amount voluntarily before going to court). I lost half my paycheck for months and got crap visitation.
Now, I have custody of my son because my ex decided to drop him on our doorstep and take off to the other side of the country. In a custody battle mom is put on a pedestal, you pretty much have to prove she's a drug addict, alcoholic, suicidal child killer to get custody as a father.
(it is getting better though, as you said)
Edited, Aug 4th 2010 12:06pm by Yodabunny