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#1 Jul 15 2010 at 8:57 AM Rating: Good
Demea
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http://news.rediff.com/interview/2010/jul/15/taliban-training-monkeys-for-jihad.htm

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The US-led forces fighting the Taliban [ Images ] fighters in Afghanistan might soon encounter 'gun-totting' monkeys, trained for 'jihad', if a rumour doing the rounds in the Chinese media is to be believed.

[...]

"... the Taliban forces have tried any possible means and figured out a method to train monkeys as 'replacement killers' against American troops," Stars and Stripes quoted the Chinese daily as saying. The militants were arming the primates with AK-47 rifles, machine guns and trench mortars in the Waziristan tribal region bordering Pakistan and Afghanistan, it claimed. The monkey soldiers are being turned into snipers at a secret Taliban training base and are in turn being rewarded with 'bananas and peanuts'.

Kao, we must counter with the wombats!
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#2 Jul 15 2010 at 8:58 AM Rating: Good
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Nah, the raccoons. Those ******* will shred ya!

And eat up your garbage!
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#3 Jul 15 2010 at 8:59 AM Rating: Good
AshOnMyTomatoes
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Demea, do you have a head like a fUcking orange? I ask merely for information.
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#4 Jul 15 2010 at 9:08 AM Rating: Good
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In a world where the wars of Man are fought by Monkeys... what happens when the monkeys turn against us?
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#5 Jul 15 2010 at 9:14 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
In a world where the wars of Man are fought by Monkeys... what happens when the monkeys turn against us?


We will train dogs to fight the monkeys, there are tales in Asia about monkeys and dogs in eternal conflict. With the monkeys distracted it will give us time to rebuild and to train a giant army of lolcats to eliminate them both.
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#6 Jul 15 2010 at 10:03 AM Rating: Decent
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Pft... the U.S. has been training dolphins to launch nukes for years.
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#7 Jul 15 2010 at 10:09 AM Rating: Good
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BrownDuck wrote:
Pft... the U.S. has been training dolphins to launch nukes for years.


Metal Gear Porpoise?
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#8 Jul 15 2010 at 10:16 AM Rating: Good
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I would have thought they'd use the monkeys for suicide bombers.

We'd only need some disease to lay low them dirty heathen primates.
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#9 Jul 15 2010 at 10:22 AM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
I would have thought they'd use the monkeys for suicide bombers.

We'd only need some disease to lay low them dirty heathen primates.


Like HIV?
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#10 Jul 15 2010 at 11:11 AM Rating: Good
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The image of a monkey trying to pull a sniper rifle up into a tree is adorable.

Do they wear little vests and fezzes? Tell me they wear vests and fezzes!
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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#11 Jul 15 2010 at 11:13 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
The image of a monkey trying to pull a sniper rifle up into a tree is adorable.

Do they wear little vests and fezzes? Tell me they wear vests and fezzes!



Sorry, no fez or vest.
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#12 Jul 15 2010 at 11:16 AM Rating: Good
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AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Demea, do you have a head like a fUcking orange? I ask merely for information.


Do you have a *****?
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#13 Jul 15 2010 at 11:32 AM Rating: Good
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MentalFrog wrote:
AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Demea, do you have a head like a fUcking orange? I ask merely for information.


Do you have a *****?
No one gets the reference. Smiley: frownSmiley: frown
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#14 Jul 15 2010 at 11:35 AM Rating: Good
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AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
MentalFrog wrote:
AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Demea, do you have a head like a fUcking orange? I ask merely for information.


Do you have a *****?
No one gets the reference. Smiley: frownSmiley: frown


I had to google it, haven't seen the movie yet.
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#15 Jul 15 2010 at 11:56 AM Rating: Excellent
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All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the diesel;
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun,
Pop! goes the diesel.
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#16 Jul 15 2010 at 11:42 PM Rating: Good
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AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Demea, do you have a head like a fUcking orange? I ask merely for information.
No, but I do have a burning hatred for Colonel Sanders.
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