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#1 Jun 21 2010 at 3:25 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
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I'm rethinking.

The "Nobby's Edible Coffin" TM hasn't sold well, and I can't seem to find a distributor for my patented "Nobby's Cherry FlavoUred Bleach" TM Smiley: frown

But I now have a concept that's marketable, high consumer value and such a bloody neat idea.

"Nobby's Isotonic Sports Meat Pie" TM. An expertly balanced mix of lard-based pastry, with a filling of gravy, off-cuts of beef and pork, spices, herbs and a chemically precise blend of vitamins and lard. A vital resource in any athlete's fridge.

I'm onto a winner aren't I!
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#2 Jun 21 2010 at 3:27 PM Rating: Good
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So it's a British Hot Pocket?

that sounds so dirty
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#3 Jun 21 2010 at 3:27 PM Rating: Good
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I've always said that professional athletes could use more lard.
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#4 Jun 21 2010 at 3:31 PM Rating: Good
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Lord Nobby wrote:
"Nobby's Cherry FlavoUred Bleach"â„¢
Cherry just doesn't cut it anymore, you need some more hip and exotic flavours.
Although right now, special world cup flavours have a good shot at becoming instant hits.
Especially if England manages to drop out of the tournament and emoplode like the French.
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#5 Jun 21 2010 at 3:57 PM Rating: Good
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Mr. Dibbler may have somfing to say about dat.
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#6 Jun 21 2010 at 6:47 PM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Lord Nobby wrote:
"Nobby's Cherry FlavoUred Bleach"â„¢
Cherry just doesn't cut it anymore, you need some more hip and exotic flavours.


This. Also note that fusions are popular right now, so if you can put in two seemingly unconnected flavours into your bleach drink, it might just sell. Of course, repeat customers might be a problem, so I'd suggest having a really good marketing team and slogan. Something like: "Just because the last 5000 people to drink this all died in horrible agony doesn't mean you wont beat the odds. Are you up to the challenge? Or are you a quitter?". Or perhaps: "Do you feel lucky? Huh? Do you punk? Then drink this and see!"
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#7 Jun 21 2010 at 7:12 PM Rating: Good
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Technogeek wrote:
Mr. Dibbler may have somfing to say about dat.
Smiley: thumbsup

I'm actually terribly mad at you for stealing my post Smiley: madSmiley: mad
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#8 Jun 22 2010 at 7:59 AM Rating: Good
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Lord Nobby wrote:

"Nobby's Isotonic Sports Meat Pie" TM. An expertly balanced mix of lard-based pastry, with a filling of gravy, off-cuts of beef and pork, spices, herbs and a chemically precise blend of vitamins and lard. A vital resource in any athlete's fridge.

Does it come in low-fat Mocha?
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#9 Jun 22 2010 at 8:02 AM Rating: Good
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Lord Nobby wrote:
"Nobby's Isotonic Sports Meat Pie" TM. An expertly balanced mix of lard-based pastry, with a filling of gravy, off-cuts of beef and pork, spices, herbs and a chemically precise blend of vitamins and lard. A vital resource in any athlete's fridge.


Is that what Steroids are called in the UK?

Edited, Jun 22nd 2010 10:02am by Shaowstrike
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#10 Jun 22 2010 at 5:10 PM Rating: Decent
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Nobby, for a second there I thought you were describing Katie.



Edited, Jun 22nd 2010 7:10pm by bodhisattva
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#11 Jun 22 2010 at 5:16 PM Rating: Good
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Lord Nobby wrote:
"Nobby's Edible Coffin" TM


Why am I only now hearing about this? I'd buy one to finally allay my fears of being buried alive.

What flavours does it come in?

Edited, Jun 22nd 2010 6:18pm by CountFenris
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#12 Jun 23 2010 at 3:06 AM Rating: Good
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CountFenris wrote:
Lord Nobby wrote:
"Nobby's Edible Coffin" TM


Why am I only now hearing about this? I'd buy one to finally allay my fears of being buried alive.

What flavours does it come in?
Bleach or Kerosene.
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#13 Jun 23 2010 at 3:14 AM Rating: Decent
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Don't forget the popular and fiber-rich flavor, wood.
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#14 Jun 23 2010 at 3:57 AM Rating: Good
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The suicide capitol of the world uses poison gas from bleach and another household product as its new favourite suicide method. And has a history of wafting around in cherry blossoms. How could you have missed Nippon?
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#15 Jun 24 2010 at 5:54 PM Rating: Good
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Lord Nobby wrote:
CountFenris wrote:

Lord Nobby wrote:

"Nobby's Edible Coffin" TM


Why am I only now hearing about this? I'd buy one to finally allay my fears of being buried alive.

What flavours does it come in?

Bleach or Kerosene.


I now better understand the reputation English cooking has garnered.
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#16 Jun 24 2010 at 9:40 PM Rating: Good
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When Australia got invaded by migrants we all stood up and Hurrah'ed that we'd been saved from English cooking.

Nobby is one of the first generation in situ breed of English chefs.
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#17 Jun 25 2010 at 11:28 PM Rating: Good
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Aripyanfar wrote:
The suicide capitol of the world uses poison gas from bleach and another household product as its new favourite suicide method. And has a history of wafting around in cherry blossoms. How could you have missed Nippon?


Bleach and ammonia infused coffins would be a great product to market to the worlds suicidal population. They could avoid being a burden on their loved ones in a one stop solution.

It's like a gas chamber for dummies.
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#18 Jun 26 2010 at 2:00 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
Aripyanfar wrote:
The suicide capitol of the world uses poison gas from bleach and another household product as its new favourite suicide method. And has a history of wafting around in cherry blossoms. How could you have missed Nippon?


Bleach and ammonia infused coffins would be a great product to market to the worlds suicidal population. They could avoid being a burden on their loved ones in a one stop solution.

It's like a gas chamber for dummies.

That is SO brilliant.

Back when I had frequent thoughts about suicide I was so blinded/fucked up in the head from emotional pain that it didn't even occur to me I'd be leaving loved ones behind... and a distressing mess to clean up.
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#19 Jun 28 2010 at 9:30 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
Bleach and ammonia infused coffins would be a great product to market to the worlds suicidal population. They could avoid being a burden on their loved ones in a one stop solution.


This gave me an idea... what about a coffin that incinerates the corpse after burial? Thus, eliminating the threat of them coming back as a zombie and killing their loved ones.

Patent pending.
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#20 Jun 29 2010 at 2:47 AM Rating: Good
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I still think human corpses should be allowed to be laid in worm farms.
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