knoxxsouthy wrote:
Locked,
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Having sex early on is not, in my eyes, diluting the pleasure you get out of having sex during marriage. It will still feel the same.
Have you ever felt the satisfaction and pleasure of working towards something and being rewarded for your effort? Granted when it comes to sex early on i'm definitly not the one to talk to.
Of course. I would consider marriage being the reward. Or perhaps starting a family. I consider sex a step on that path, and a step that should be (safely and consensually!) take early on. It is a part of a healthy relationship, not the goal of one.
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The pro of having sex early on is you realize you may or may not be compatible with that person sexually, which is a very important part of most relationships.
I look at bad sex as something to work on. The first time you have sex with your girlfriend is generally not the best, especially if you've had to wait. Only time, practice, and effort make it great.
I agree. However, in my experience having multiple partners has taught me a LOT more about sex than having one. My longest relationship (3 1/2 years) was also one of the least fulfilling sexually, primarily because neither of us really knew much about sex, and my girlfriend at the time didn't really like being sexual all that much (or rather she liked it for the intimacy, but not for the pleasure itself; I liked it for both)*. If I had married her, I would have been frustrated sexually. If I had never had other partners after I would not have found out what I enjoy, or how to really please a woman. As it is, after a few more relationships have come and gone I am still learning new things sexually; and without a doubt I never would have learned them with my that girlfriend.
I agree that time, practice, and effort make it a lot better. However, some people are just not as compatible sexually. And you would never know that until you tried it. I'm not saying great sex makes or breaks a relationship, but it can lead to a large source of frustration for one or both parties involved... and I think you should have that potential conflict figured out before a huge commitment like marriage happens.
*Edit: There were other issues of course, I'm just staying on topic here.
Edited, Mar 31st 2010 4:41pm by LockeColeMA