Abstinence-only education questionFollow

More for people who look in depth at the recent healthcare reform bill, I was wondering why abstinence-only educational funding was renewed? According to this article, the healthcare reform included renewing the $50 million a year for abstinence-only education. As I was under the impression that most Democrats are against these ineffective programs, why was it included? I could understand its inclusion if it was to swing some Republican votes, but obviously that didn't happen... are there actually a lot of Democratic legislators who buy into it?

The article mentions that studies show no significant positive effect from the programs.

One of my best friends plans on it. However, according to him he would be willing to bend the rules if they were engaged... but she wants to wait for marriage, and that's fine with him. I personally just think she has no interest in sex and is actually terrified of it (she wasn't kissed until she was 24, and even then it took 2 months for her to let that happen).

My friend is a virgin too. His explanation of how he can wait? "I don't know what I'm missing, so it's not that bad; just gives me more to look forward to!" Glad he's optimistic, but ugh, I would not want that kind of lifestyle.

Meh, it's not really a "can" thing, anyone "can". It's a why would you want to marry someone you weren't close enough to have sex with? Religious nuts confuzzle me.

Thanks Joph, that explained it perfectly.

Why buy the cow when you haven't checked the milk? The milk ain't free no matter how you look at it.

Nope, but I can take that milk back to the store for a refund :).

Did you mean "for" instead of "with"?

Edit: If not, I agree with you. Having sex early on is not, in my eyes, diluting the pleasure you get out of having sex during marriage. It will still feel the same. The pro of having sex early on is you realize you may or may not be compatible with that person sexually, which is a very important part of most relationships. The con is that you may get diseases or pregnant and have a less stable environment compared to being caught in a marriage (for better of worse). This is usually easily remedied through careful and constant use of birth control, medicine, and doctor's visits.

I really don't understand not having sex before marriage. Then again, I don't understand my friend. I still think he's a great guy; I just would never want to be him.

Edited, Mar 31st 2010 4:24pm by LockeColeMA

Locked,



Have you ever felt the satisfaction and pleasure of working towards something and being rewarded for your effort? Granted when it comes to sex early on i'm definitly not the one to talk to.




I look at bad sex as something to work on. The first time you have sex with your girlfriend is generally not the best, especially if you've had to wait. Only time, practice, and effort make it great.

Of course. I would consider marriage being the reward. Or perhaps starting a family. I consider sex a step on that path, and a step that should be (safely and consensually!) take early on. It is a part of a healthy relationship, not the goal of one.




I agree. However, in my experience having multiple partners has taught me a LOT more about sex than having one. My longest relationship (3 1/2 years) was also one of the least fulfilling sexually, primarily because neither of us really knew much about sex, and my girlfriend at the time didn't really like being sexual all that much (or rather she liked it for the intimacy, but not for the pleasure itself; I liked it for both)*. If I had married her, I would have been frustrated sexually. If I had never had other partners after I would not have found out what I enjoy, or how to really please a woman. As it is, after a few more relationships have come and gone I am still learning new things sexually; and without a doubt I never would have learned them with my that girlfriend.

I agree that time, practice, and effort make it a lot better. However, some people are just not as compatible sexually. And you would never know that until you tried it. I'm not saying great sex makes or breaks a relationship, but it can lead to a large source of frustration for one or both parties involved... and I think you should have that potential conflict figured out before a huge commitment like marriage happens.

*Edit: There were other issues of course, I'm just staying on topic here.

Edited, Mar 31st 2010 4:41pm by LockeColeMA

Or, from the woman's perspective, why buy the pig for six inches of sausage?

Edited, Mar 31st 2010 2:10pm by Ambrya

I don't understand why any value whatsoever is placed on virginity, which usually underlies the whole "no sex before marriage" thing.

Also, things that creep me out: Purity Balls.

It's just very funny that there's apparently this fundamental change after you have sex.

That may be a common thought now, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the issue when "no sex before marriage" came about. It was more about property rights.