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Suicide attempt worthy of The Internet (was forum=28)Follow

#1 Mar 11 2010 at 11:11 AM Rating: Good
Linky

Quote:
The man accused of killing Sarah McKay first consumed drugs and alcohol before striking her with a bat and strangling her and then trying to kill himself by drinking bleach and cutting his throat and wrists, according to a search warrant affidavit.


Yeah yeah, he did kill his girlfriend which is far from humorous but his suicide attempt seems like something he picked up from an Internet forum and made me crack a smile.

Dead girlfriend is still sad though.
#2 Mar 11 2010 at 11:14 AM Rating: Good
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He should have an heroed himself as well. That would have made it epic.
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#3 Mar 11 2010 at 11:15 AM Rating: Excellent
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Yeah, drinking bleach would actually be a bad way to go. Not that he deserves a gentle death, in particular.

Wonder what his state of mind was, such that he passed out, woke up and went straight on the attack.

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#4 Mar 11 2010 at 11:15 AM Rating: Good
He should have suck-started a loaded revolver.
#5 Mar 11 2010 at 11:32 AM Rating: Default
Sucking a shotgun would have been good and messy.
#6 Mar 11 2010 at 11:38 AM Rating: Good
Most Internet people on forums where I've posted died because they drank nail glue remover. Yeah.
#7 Mar 11 2010 at 11:41 AM Rating: Good
Kalivha wrote:
Most Internet people on forums where I've posted died because they drank nail glue remover. Yeah.


Where does one go to online to meet on the edge, ready to die folks?
#8 Mar 11 2010 at 11:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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Iron Chef Hallertau wrote:
Kalivha wrote:
Most Internet people on forums where I've posted died because they drank nail glue remover. Yeah.


Where does one go to online to meet on the edge, ready to die folks?


www.gothdepression.org

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#9 Mar 11 2010 at 11:44 AM Rating: Good
I'm dying, but we've been over that.
#10 Mar 11 2010 at 11:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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Dude, we were over that the day of.

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#11 Mar 11 2010 at 11:49 AM Rating: Good
Iron Chef Hallertau wrote:
Kalivha wrote:
Most Internet people on forums where I've posted died because they drank nail glue remover. Yeah.


Where does one go to online to meet on the edge, ready to die folks?


Sora: Darwin's little helper.
#12 Mar 11 2010 at 11:50 AM Rating: Excellent
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Iron Chef Hallertau wrote:
Kalivha wrote:
Most Internet people on forums where I've posted died because they drank nail glue remover. Yeah.


Where does one go to online to meet on the edge, ready to die folks?


www.jihadistsanonymous.com
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#13 Mar 11 2010 at 11:55 AM Rating: Good
Samira wrote:
Dude, we were over that the day of.


Shush, you. This is OOT. I may still be able to get sympathy from people in here.
#14 Mar 11 2010 at 12:06 PM Rating: Good
I don't frequent that forum anymore. At least I don't go there more than 3-4 times a year anymore, and only to retrieve old data I had.

Pro tip: It wasn't a suicide forum. Just one full of stupid people who got themselves killed by not labelling the bottles correctly.
#15 Mar 11 2010 at 12:19 PM Rating: Good
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His Excellency MoebiusLord wrote:
Samira wrote:
Dude, we were over that the day of.


Shush, you. This is OOT. I may still be able to get sympathy from people in here.


That depends on what you're dying from. If you can make the AIDS guy feel sympathetic for you then maybe you have a chance.
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#16 Mar 11 2010 at 12:22 PM Rating: Excellent
His Excellency MoebiusLord wrote:
Samira wrote:
Dude, we were over that the day of.


Shush, you. This is OOT. I may still be able to get sympathy from people in here.


Dying from lack of a heart?

Quote:
Yeah yeah, he did kill his girlfriend which is far from humorous but his suicide attempt seems like something he picked up from an Internet forum and made me crack a smile.


It may not be from an internet forum, but I think this suicide is better:

The Article wrote:
A window cleaner died after stabbing himself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo souvenir pencil, an inquest heard.

[...]

East Sussex coroner Alan Craze told the Hastings inquest: “It’s a mystery to me. If you were choosing to take your own life, that’s not the way you would do it.

“It seems to me that it can’t have been a single stab wound. He seems to have worked on it. The pencil was blunt.”

#17 Mar 11 2010 at 12:28 PM Rating: Good
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
His Excellency MoebiusLord wrote:
Samira wrote:
Dude, we were over that the day of.


Shush, you. This is OOT. I may still be able to get sympathy from people in here.


Dying from lack of a heart?

Mock if you like, but it's not really something I like to joke about. I don't want to get too far in to the details because, frankly, it's personal, but suffice to say I'm terminal and incurable.
#18 Mar 11 2010 at 12:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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More like incurably interminable.

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#19 Mar 11 2010 at 12:31 PM Rating: Good
pedant
#20 Mar 11 2010 at 12:35 PM Rating: Good
His Excellency MoebiusLord wrote:
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
His Excellency MoebiusLord wrote:
Samira wrote:
Dude, we were over that the day of.


Shush, you. This is OOT. I may still be able to get sympathy from people in here.


Dying from lack of a heart?

Mock if you like, but it's not really something I like to joke about. I don't want to get too far in to the details because, frankly, it's personal, but suffice to say I'm terminal and incurable.


Well, good luck with that. Stay away from the bleach and the oversized pencils.
#21 Mar 11 2010 at 12:42 PM Rating: Good
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Well, good luck with that. Stay away from the bleach and the oversized pencils.

Your sincerity is underwhelming.
#22 Mar 11 2010 at 12:44 PM Rating: Good
I think we've hit our You're gonna die Prematurely or are already dead Sympathy quota here in the OoT
#23 Mar 11 2010 at 12:47 PM Rating: Good
His Excellency MoebiusLord wrote:
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Well, good luck with that. Stay away from the bleach and the oversized pencils.

Your sincerity is underwhelming.


Smiley: flowers
#24 Mar 11 2010 at 12:52 PM Rating: Good
Doug has AIDS.
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