Rape sucksFollow

Dude, you're all kinds of fucked up right now.

Nnno, no, this is the kind of fUCked-upitude that doesn't wear off.

Oh, well there was this one time whe~



...n/m.

Except that you were careful to avoid any discussion of any slim possibility that she's telling the truth.

Regardless, I'm not engaging in this discussion with you again. You have never given any indication that you're capable of empathy, so I certainly don't expect you to have learned it since yesterday.

There is no place in the Asylum for that kind of heart-felt, sincere assistance. If you feel the need to keep dispensing it, I will be forced to unleash the full fury of my totally meaningless interwebs fury.

Stay out of the park after the sun goes down.

Uh... no kidding I'm emotionally attached. I'm emotionally attached to all my friends. I mean, otherwise they wouldn't really be friends, right? They'd be... acquaintances? Strangers? Or I'd be emotionally dead? Varus? Something like that. I find it odd for you to say "you're emotionally attached to friends" like it's an issue :-P



Yes, rape happens because people don't get to know each other well enough first. I can't believe I had it wrong! I figured it's more like rape happens when someone forces another person to submit to them sexually without their consent. Guess not :-(



No sh*t I have feelings for her. Do you know what platonic means? Nonsexual. It has nothing to do with caring or not caring (well, technically platonic implies a deep friendship that is nonsexual, so I guess it means I care). I'm not trying to get my knob slobbered is what I meant when I used the word platonic. Of course my feelings are keeping me in our friendship.



Great advice. I've already said I'm trying to help her; hence the deal with it part.

But for the record, I didn't find anything you said insulting, just reaaaally ignorant and completing ignoring the issue at hand (ie, how to help a friend who was raped). I don't see how "You care for her and thus aren't platonic, plus she's a pushover" really addresses the issue. Maybe you made a couple of jumps I missed.

Edited, Mar 12th 2010 4:33pm by LockeColeMA

Er?



Given that her entire claim to "rape" is that he threatened her (with a combination of direct violence and revealing what was going on to others), I'm not sure how I failed to address the possibility that what she's saying is 100% true. My point is that from a legal standpoint, it's irrelevant if it's true. She has no way to prove that he did engage in such threats.




Here again, I acknowledged that it's possible she's telling the truth. However, given that he didn't actually beat her up (at least not according to any of the accounts we've heard), her actions fit into the "allowed herself to be victimized" category.


What am I supposed to do here? Let's assume every single thing she claims is true: A guy approached her for sex at her school, and she went along with him, despite having a boyfriend. He then forced her to continue having sex with him or he'd tell people she had sex with him, and would beat her up. But instead of going to the police, or the school officials, she instead continued to meet with him secretly after school, and reported the affair to friends as good sex, and rough the way she likes it. She continued to have sex with him until she believed that people in her class knew about it, but even then instead of breaking it off, she quit the class. Now. Months later, she's still not going to police, but rather confiding in the same people she told earlier about how great the sex was that he was really raping her the whole time.

I'm sorry, but without excusing a single thing the guy did here, she made a whole series of really really really bad choices. It's not like she was locked away in a cabin a hundred miles away from civilization and unable to avoid the maniac holding her hostage and taking advantage of her sexually. She was in a freaking school. With students all around her. And teachers. And police a phone call away. I'm just having a hard time mustering the level of sympathy for her and hatred for him that you (and others) seem to think I should. On one end of the "taking advantage of women", there's the terror of a victim unable to do anything to prevent herself from being victimized due to conditions completely outside her control, and then waaaaaaaaaaay at the other end of the spectrum is this girl.


Sorry. Call me uncaring, but I'll reserve my sympathy for say a random high school girl being sexually assaulted and killed while jogging in a park and my hatred for the maniac who perpetrated the crime. Somehow the situation in the OP just don't even enter the same radar screen, do they?

Edited, Mar 12th 2010 4:08pm by gbaji

If she said no, its rape.

Be her friend, listen to her and encourage her to talk it out with her therapist.

If its true and you're afraid of the law there is no shame in attacking a rapist from behind, with a mask on, with 30 of your friends whatever.

Unfortunately in our society the "justice" system tends to rape the victim a second time.



and yes im a lurker who never posts but this struck a cord with me.

Also for thinking that "struck a chord" (musical term) actually has something to do with, say, hammering a clothesline.

I don't know, it might have reached out from the computer screen and beat it severely about the voice box area.