Rape sucksFollow

I didn't think he was saying he's more of a victim. I guess I just read that as, "I can't believe she burdened me with this, then didn't take my advice and do something about it!" It's not really his place to demand she do more than she can.

I agree that she should go to the authorities and try to get this guy stopped, don't get me wrong. But what she needs from him is a sympathetic shoulder and ear, not anger that she isn't doing what he wants.



I think you're doing her a disservice, and you have absolutely no idea how difficult it was for her to go as far as she has so far. If she only just recognized that it was rape, she's taken a pretty big step.

I think talking to her therapist or even calling an anonymous help line if she's that worried about her therapist reporting it is a good idea. You can offer to sit with her while she's on the phone with them and hold her hand, if that helps her.

True, but it wouldn't hurt to have the complaint on file if another woman is able to come forward while the evidence is fresh (no pun intended).

This is the crux of it. Regardless of the veracity of her story, she doesn't want you to go solve her problem.

Frankly if this happened a half-dozen times, and her response was to quit the team rather then report it to the police, then your friend has pretty much established herself as a first rate, life long, professional quality, victim.

And there ain't **** you can to about it.

You're right. :(

Humans really suck...

Right, you've got to control the flow of options. Make retaliation untenable.

This is kind of moronic sentiment is exactly why I mentioned in another thread that I wondered just how many women would admit to having a rape fantasy.

I was a Mac user. I loved the fact that they were so simple to use. I talked about them to my friends and let them know that Macs were exactly what I wanted, even down to the cartoonish look of the interface.

When my Mac died, I couldn't afford a new one, so I went out and bought a PC. Now I love my PC, and I have no good memories of the Mac, because the PC has surpassed it in every way for me.

Am I a credible Apple detractor? Or am I a MS fanboi looking to get converts to my new opinion?

And maybe now she's afraid he'll find out and figured it would be easier for him to accept that she was raped than the possibility that she outright cheated on him? Seriously, if that's your strongest evidence in her favor, I'm not convinced.

This is the problem. Female indignation, the perception of the majority, genetic defense compulsions for women, all of these play in to the "sensitive man" and general female position that if she says it it must be true.

Maybe what she really needs is to be a stripper dancing at a Duke Lacrosse party. Then she could get Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton to take up her case.

Edit:
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Edited, Mar 11th 2010 2:06pm by MoebiusLord

I can't attest to the veracity of the claims myself, obviously. I don't know this girl. I don't know anybody involved. I've only heard a little bit of the story. It's something that's a bit of a difficult subject due to, well, my own fears. There's been very little research into the veracity of rape claims, so I'm (and really most people) left with supposition that's tied to my own biases and fears.

And no one wants to obviate that or devalue it. My hunch is that since the majority of opinion has been tar and feather the guy, Brownie was just trying to make sure the other options were out there. The reaction to that, however, is more telling by far. There is a supposition among most people that a woman who makes the claim can't be lying, and as such there have been a lot of lives ruined needlessly.