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#52 Feb 04 2010 at 11:27 PM Rating: Good
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Nightsintdreams wrote:
Dear o' Mighty Flea,

I am about to go out and play the Powerball in the state of Florida.

Can you give me my lucky 'pick-five' and the 'Powerball' please?

A man needs his Premium subscription.

Yours,

Nights
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#53 Feb 04 2010 at 11:28 PM Rating: Good
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Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
I hope you know crotchet.
Pun intended?
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#54 Feb 04 2010 at 11:30 PM Rating: Good
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BrownDuck wrote:
Dear Flea,

I'm supposed to pick up my mother from the bus station today. You don't know her, but suffice it to say her moving in with me is the last straw, the straw that broke the camel's back, the straw man that props up Gbaji's arguments, the shortest straw one could possibly draw, etc...

Do you think I could feign a car break down and tell her she has to go back to the depths of hell from whence she came?

Much thanks,
BD
You're a grown man. Do what you like.
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#55 Feb 04 2010 at 11:34 PM Rating: Good
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Mistress Darqflame wrote:
Dear Flea,

Why don't you love me any more?

In tears,
DF
Trying to suckle at your teat right now is like trying to get a table at Le Cirque. The wait is long and you're too expensive. I'm hungry now.

Smiley: wink Who loves ya, baby?
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#56 Feb 04 2010 at 11:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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Dear Flea,

After I take over the world and declare myself emperor of the unleashed wombat horde, what color should my new imperial flag be? Green, blue? or some other combination of doom? Or maybe instead of a flag should it just be a really nice hat? People respect a classy hat.
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#57 Feb 04 2010 at 11:43 PM Rating: Good
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
After I take over the world and declare myself emperor of the unleashed wombat horde
Not happening, but I'd be more than happy to appoint you Minister of Telecommunications And Wiretapping Random People.
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#58 Feb 04 2010 at 11:45 PM Rating: Good
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Dear Flea,

After I take over the world and declare myself emperor of the unleashed wombat horde, what color should my new imperial flag be? Green, blue? or some other combination of doom? Or maybe instead of a flag should it just be a really nice hat? People respect a classy hat.
I'm going to say paisley. No one uses paisley anymore.
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#59 Feb 04 2010 at 11:54 PM Rating: Good
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The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
CestinShaman wrote:
Dear Flea,

To spare you a long story, I'm 15. Sometimes I lay there or am sitting, just in a somewhat depressed mood, and feel the need for an other. A girlfriend. I get incredibly lonely sometimes, yearning for someone meaningful. There is a girl at my high school that I adore, and we do seem to make a good pair. I never remember my dreams at night, but I have daydreamed about her before.

Sparing you and the forum another long story, I have not dated before. I have low self esteem, despite knowing I'm not an awful person. I fear being bold and courageous and talking to people about emotional things. Is it time for me to ask her out, to have a girlfriend? Will the feelings of isolation and loneliness pass, or is it time to begin my first relationship? How should I ask her, or present the idea, if I do decide to try and date her?

15's as good a time as any to tell you something you won't want to hear, but is the single most important lesson of your life: Don't depend on others for your happiness.

If you find that you're sad more often than not, if you can't find pleasure in things that used to fulfill you, etc then consider going to a therapist and being treated for depression. Talk to them about your self-esteem issues.

If you make this girl the solution to all your problems you'll only set yourself up for failure, since neither you or she are emotionally mature enough for a long-term relationship, and the heartbreak you'll experience at the inevitable end might just tip you over.

This isn't to say you aren't deserving of love. We all are, but you won't be happy and proud of yourself (which will in turn attract the right kind of partner for you) until you deal with your own issues first.

As WELL as THIS:

Just talk to her. You know. chat. ask her questions about her life, her interests. ask questions about the answers she gives. Evolving closeness often works out better than confronting someone with a yes/no answer to give on the spot. Of course, finding a way of extending time to chat with her is going to be necessary down the line. Suggesting she come along with you to some public place in daylight is a good place to start for someone her age.
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#60 Feb 05 2010 at 12:05 AM Rating: Good
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The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
How long after a guy has broken up with his boyfriend should one wait before asking him out?

Catch: the guy and his ex still live together.
One month. Keep in mind he won't be over it yet, but he will be primed and ready for rebound sex and a transitional affair.

I'm pretty sure he is primed and ready for rebound sex now.

but that would ruin the relationship before it started.
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#61 Feb 05 2010 at 12:10 AM Rating: Good
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Bardalicious wrote:
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
How long after a guy has broken up with his boyfriend should one wait before asking him out?

Catch: the guy and his ex still live together.
One month. Keep in mind he won't be over it yet, but he will be primed and ready for rebound sex and a transitional affair.

I'm pretty sure he is primed and ready for rebound sex now.

but that would ruin the relationship before it started.


ITT: Bard is one of those gays that whines about feeling and relationships when sex is on the table. Ew.



Edited, Feb 4th 2010 11:10pm by Tarub
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#62 Feb 05 2010 at 12:11 AM Rating: Good
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Tarub wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
How long after a guy has broken up with his boyfriend should one wait before asking him out?

Catch: the guy and his ex still live together.
One month. Keep in mind he won't be over it yet, but he will be primed and ready for rebound sex and a transitional affair.

I'm pretty sure he is primed and ready for rebound sex now.

but that would ruin the relationship before it started.


ITT: Bard is one of those gays that whines about feeling and relationships when sex is on the table. Ew.


THIS IS SRS BSNS

>:O
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#63 Feb 05 2010 at 12:14 AM Rating: Good
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Bardalicious wrote:
Tarub wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
How long after a guy has broken up with his boyfriend should one wait before asking him out?

Catch: the guy and his ex still live together.
One month. Keep in mind he won't be over it yet, but he will be primed and ready for rebound sex and a transitional affair.

I'm pretty sure he is primed and ready for rebound sex now.

but that would ruin the relationship before it started.


ITT: Bard is one of those gays that whines about feeling and relationships when sex is on the table. Ew.


THIS IS SRS BSNS

>:O


But this is rebound sex man, one of only two chances you get for someone to show someone else JUST HOW OVER IT IS by furiously humping something. You could be that something.
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#64 Feb 05 2010 at 12:15 AM Rating: Good
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Tarub wrote:

But this is rebound sex man, one of only two chances you get for someone to show someone else JUST HOW OVER IT IS by furiously humping something. You could be that something.

well, to tell the truth, we already had the rebound sex.

and I was the humped, not the humpee.
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#65 Feb 05 2010 at 12:18 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
well, to tell the truth, we already had the rebound sex.


Good man.

Quote:
and I was the humped, not the humpee.


That is what I was implying.

Now you take that what pettiness is left from them towards the ex and use it for some more action.

Later, you can be his hero, baby, and kiss away the pain. Possibly stand by him forever.



Edited, Feb 4th 2010 11:20pm by Tarub
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#66 Feb 05 2010 at 12:19 AM Rating: Good
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Tarub wrote:
Quote:
well, to tell the truth, we already had the rebound sex.


Good man.

Quote:
and I was the humped, not the humpee.


That is what I was implying.

Now you take that what pettiness is left from them towards the ex and use it for some more action.

Later, you can be his hero, baby, and kiss away the pain.

Edited, Feb 4th 2010 11:18pm by Tarub

it would be less annoying if he wasn't financially tied to the guy because of their apartment.
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#67 Feb 05 2010 at 4:08 AM Rating: Good
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Dear Flea,

Everyone throws eggs at me when I walk down the street. Is it because I is French?

Cheers,
Red
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#68 Feb 05 2010 at 6:01 AM Rating: Good
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Aripyanfar wrote:
As WELL as THIS:

Just talk to her. You know. chat. ask her questions about her life, her interests. ask questions about the answers she gives. Evolving closeness often works out better than confronting someone with a yes/no answer to give on the spot. Of course, finding a way of extending time to chat with her is going to be necessary down the line. Suggesting she come along with you to some public place in daylight is a good place to start for someone her age.
Yeah, no. Don't start.
With your mindset, talking to this chick is the last thing you should be doing. Teenage girls are, for the most part, way ahead of boys emotionally and no matter what Twilight says, she isn't going to find your tortured soul romantic but rather a reason to hightail it in the opposite direction. Someday you'll be ready to talk to a chick, but not her.
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#69 Feb 05 2010 at 6:02 AM Rating: Good
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RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Dear Flea,

Everyone throws eggs at me when I walk down the street. Is it because I is French?

Cheers,
Red


Maybe you should take the Nick Griffin mask off. It ain't Halloween no more, man.
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#70 Feb 05 2010 at 6:04 AM Rating: Good
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Bardalicious wrote:
Tarub wrote:

But this is rebound sex man, one of only two chances you get for someone to show someone else JUST HOW OVER IT IS by furiously humping something. You could be that something.

well, to tell the truth, we already had the rebound sex.

and I was the humped, not the humpee.
Then assume the position and wait for round 2/to be ignored completely. You're not driving this car.

Quote:

it would be less annoying if he wasn't financially tied to the guy because of their apartment.
Or if he wasn't just using you to prove he's still desirable. That's what a rebound is, you know.
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#71 Feb 05 2010 at 6:05 AM Rating: Good
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RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Dear Flea,

Everyone throws eggs at me when I walk down the street. Is it because I is French?

Cheers,
Red
God, no. They just hate you.
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#72 Feb 05 2010 at 9:43 AM Rating: Good
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Dear Flea,
How many people in upper management did you have to cut in order to start posting here again on a regular basis?
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#73 Feb 05 2010 at 11:00 AM Rating: Good
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Lady DSD wrote:
Dear Flea,
How many people in upper management did you have to cut in order to start posting here again on a regular basis?
Happily for them, none. I post from my Android phone, although the touchscreen keypad pwns me, and I'm toying with the idea of a one of those folding travel bluetooth keyboard thingies .

I'll need to get Joph on that.
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#74 Feb 05 2010 at 10:27 PM Rating: Good
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Dear Flea,

It burns. Any Advice?
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#75 Feb 05 2010 at 11:55 PM Rating: Good
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KryjeckI wrote:
Dear Flea,

It burns. Any Advice?
Pie's too hot.
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