I just fired off an email to an old best friend. We'd really fallen out of contact before I even moved to Maine in 92. But we were really tight once. Good ol' facebook to the rescue - we made contact. hah.
Anyways, writing to her on this most boring of X-mas Eves ever I was reminded of the spur-of-the-moment trip her and I had taken to Jamica in um, 81 maybe. We left Christmas Eve. Our first day on the beach we met and hooked up with a couple preppy single guys. The four of us squeezed as much touristing into a week as possible - snorkling, horseback riding, climbing the falls, overproofed run, lots of good Raggae and an abundance of local weed...and there was also the thrill of hawt sex with a near stranger;)
Despite all the specialness of holidays with the kids and family, the year I spent x-mas in Jamica was the most fun.
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Your funnest ChristmasFollow
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
No Christmas story but I spent Thanksgiving week 2007 in Amsterdam and the week just so happened to coincide with the cannabis cup. Met some cool people including one I still correspond with from Atlanta.
Not this one... Strep throat, cold, fever... ER room nurse said my strep was one of the worst cases she'd ever seen.
I went to Vienna in the mid-90s. I spent the day shopping, drinking mulled wine, ice skating and ******* the waiter at the French restaurant where I had my dinner.
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
Annabella of Future Fabulous! wrote:
I went to Vienna in the mid-90s. I spent the day shopping, drinking mulled wine, ice skating and @#%^ing the waiter at the French restaurant where I had my dinner.
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Elinda wrote:
Annabella of Future Fabulous! wrote:
I went to Vienna in the mid-90s. I spent the day shopping, drinking mulled wine, ice skating and @#%^ing the waiter at the French restaurant where I had my dinner.
He was part Austrian and part Serbian. He had very dark hair. He was a looker. My God. My friend Marcie was all like "That's the best looking man I've ever seen." And he was. He was a little nuts though.
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
A little nuts and a lot shaft, amirite?
Anyway, I think it's sad that your funnest Christmas memories are associated with casual sex and substance abuse. I think my funnest Christmas was the one where I gave my mom a car to replace her gross mini-van and she cried. That's what Christmas is for. Drugging, drinking and penetrating is really more an Easter thing.
Anyway, I think it's sad that your funnest Christmas memories are associated with casual sex and substance abuse. I think my funnest Christmas was the one where I gave my mom a car to replace her gross mini-van and she cried. That's what Christmas is for. Drugging, drinking and penetrating is really more an Easter thing.
Barkingturtle wrote:
A little nuts and a lot shaft, amirite?
Anyway, I think it's sad that your funnest Christmas memories are associated with casual sex and substance abuse. I think my funnest Christmas was the one where I gave my mom a car to replace her gross mini-van and she cried. That's what Christmas is for. Drugging, drinking and penetrating is really more an Easter thing.
Anyway, I think it's sad that your funnest Christmas memories are associated with casual sex and substance abuse. I think my funnest Christmas was the one where I gave my mom a car to replace her gross mini-van and she cried. That's what Christmas is for. Drugging, drinking and penetrating is really more an Easter thing.
You mean when Jesus rises again, so should you?
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
Yeah but it took three days, sheesh.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
Yeah but it took three days, sheesh.
Yeah but you don't really know how long Mary was in labor.
Anyway, my funniest was this past Christmas.
First my grandmother asks my sister "When are you having another baby?" My sister goes "In about 4 or 5 years, why?" Grandmother goes "Oh, I've been telling the ladies at work that you were having another one soon."
Then they bought my niece this school bus yellow snow suit that could fit a 5 year old. (Niece is only 8month old and on the smaller side) Grandmother insists it should fit the baby, because its a one size fits all and the gloves come off... like somehow that makes it shrink to fit her. Then Grandmother tells sister she better use it and she wants pictures. Well we used it, we put my sisters dog in it and took pictures... She said she wanted pictures.
Then to cap off the evening, my mother's new boyfriend (sketchy McSketerson) Got drunk off of egg nog he had hidden out in the car, then decided to have an argument with my mother in the middle of my grandparents driveway. My Grandmother yelled to my grandfather "Walter, go out there and do something!" My grandfather just broke his ankle a week ago....
Oh family...
Edited, Dec 28th 2009 1:30pm by toohotforu
The One and Only toohotforu wrote:
Samira wrote:
Yeah but it took three days, sheesh.
Yeah but you don't really know how long Mary was in labor.
*blink*
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
The One and Only toohotforu wrote:
Samira wrote:
Yeah but it took three days, sheesh.
Yeah but you don't really know how long Mary was in labor.
*blink*
lol, What I meant was, Yes it took Jesus 3 days to raise but it could have taken Mary 3 days to give birth as well. I can see where that comment might have been a little lacking in clarity. Sorry about that. It was ment to be a joke. It failed.
Edited, Dec 28th 2009 2:13pm by toohotforu
You didn't really need to explain. Everyone knows you're just fUcking stupid. Also, apparently you're unfunny, too, so, huh.
Samira wrote:
Yeah but it took three days, sheesh.
My dad got re-re-remarried in Hawaii during the holidays. I got my own room and a credit card room key, which I used to get packs of good looking women to accompany me to dinner every night at the best restaurants in the complex. They would come with me to Spa as well. I spent days recruiting and nights drinking/dining/sexing. I racked up a twenty two thousand dollar room bill. My dad had no stern words for me, mostly because his new wife, her daughters, and my sister all managed equal bills from shopping at designer outlets there.
Despite this, when I was 13 I got an original xbox on the year they came out (2001 iirc, same years as omg sept 11). A couple friends stole some alcohol from their parents and begged to come over and try it out. we spent the night playing split screen halo 1, drinking, and not much else. That was the best Christmas because it was the last Christmas each side of my main family spent any time with each other. Since then it has always been about picking sides. This year, my older brother kept his kid at my mothers and away from his wife , and my sister asked my mom what she wanted for xmas, and she replied "a daughter" Needless to say I'm full of Christmas cheer (booze)
Despite this, when I was 13 I got an original xbox on the year they came out (2001 iirc, same years as omg sept 11). A couple friends stole some alcohol from their parents and begged to come over and try it out. we spent the night playing split screen halo 1, drinking, and not much else. That was the best Christmas because it was the last Christmas each side of my main family spent any time with each other. Since then it has always been about picking sides. This year, my older brother kept his kid at my mothers and away from his wife , and my sister asked my mom what she wanted for xmas, and she replied "a daughter" Needless to say I'm full of Christmas cheer (booze)
Tarub wrote:
my sister asked my mom what she wanted for xmas, and she replied "a daughter"
Ahh, family.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Barkingturtle wrote:
You didn't really need to explain. Everyone knows you're just fUcking stupid. Also, apparently you're unfunny, too, so, huh.
I feel warm and fuzzy inside. BT actually took the time to insult me.
Edited, Dec 28th 2009 4:41pm by toohotforu
December 1993 was the best.
I was a senior in high school our basketball team was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new pontiac grand-am and had so many girls hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the beach was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of playing ball, surfing at the jettis, or just cruising the beach for hot chics on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
I was a senior in high school our basketball team was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new pontiac grand-am and had so many girls hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the beach was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of playing ball, surfing at the jettis, or just cruising the beach for hot chics on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
Three Christmases ago.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
Three Christmases ago.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
Christmas quackers are always fun.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
publiusvarus wrote:
December 1993 was the best.
I was a senior in high school our basketball team was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new pontiac grand-am and had so many girls hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the beach was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of playing ball, surfing at the jettis, or just cruising the beach for hot chics on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
I was a senior in high school our basketball team was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new pontiac grand-am and had so many girls hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the beach was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of playing ball, surfing at the jettis, or just cruising the beach for hot chics on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
Ah.. the early '90s Grand Am. Car of the douchebags if there ever was one.
Samira wrote:
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
Three Christmases ago.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
Christmas quackers are always fun.
They can be inspirational, but they don't have the spontaneity that is so large an element of humour. Sometimes you just have to wing it.
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
Samira wrote:
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
Three Christmases ago.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
Christmas quackers are always fun.
They can be inspirational, but they don't have the spontaneity that is so large an element of humour. Sometimes you just have to wing it.
Eider way, don't let it get you down.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
publiusvarus wrote:
December 1993 was the best.
I was a senior in high school our 4H club was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new tractor and had so many heifers hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the okra field was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of tipping cows, harvesting crops, or just cruising the feed store for toothless chics on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
I was a senior in high school our 4H club was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new tractor and had so many heifers hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the okra field was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of tipping cows, harvesting crops, or just cruising the feed store for toothless chics on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
Samira wrote:
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
Samira wrote:
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
Three Christmases ago.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
We managed to make thirteen duck puns in a row.
Christmas quackers are always fun.
They can be inspirational, but they don't have the spontaneity that is so large an element of humour. Sometimes you just have to wing it.
Eider way, don't let it get you down.
I'm afraid I am no match for such excellent puns. I am hoist with my own canard. I suppose the mallardy of defeat is the bill for hubris.
Sweetums wrote:
publiusvarus wrote:
December 1993 was the best.
I was a senior in high school our 4H club was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new tractor and had so many heifers hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the okra field was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of stalking elementary schools, being beaten by dada, or just cruising the feed store for hot, lady goats on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
I was a senior in high school our 4H club was beating the sh*t out of everyone and we were ranked 4th in state. I was given a new tractor and had so many heifers hitting on me it was ridiculous. The weather was warm and sunny and the okra field was off the hook. Basically 2 weeks of stalking elementary schools, being beaten by dada, or just cruising the feed store for hot, lady goats on vacation. Now i'm sad...thanks.
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
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