I need girl talkFollow

...all my girl friends are pregnant or have sick kids and I'm kid-talked out.

I was just reading this article on CNN about traditional acts of "chivalry" that the author of the article finds off-putting and I want some opinions...some of her mentions I agree with and some I don't. I'm interested in hearing if guys actually do any of this stuff anymore as well.

Breakdown:



Agreed. I mean, ordering my meal is fine if I told you what I wanted, or said, "hey, order something for me - you know what I like" because I'm starving and dashing to the bathroom.



Agreed. No one that has ever met me would think this would be cool.



Agreed. Nothing cutesy, and nothing crude, just say you'll be right back or you're visiting the men's room or whatever. However, since when was this considered "chivalrous"?



Disagree. This is old fashioned and still considerate. Necessary? No, but I dig it. Also, when you stand up to go powder your nose or whatever and all the guys at the table stand up as well...



Wait...there are guys that *want* to carry your purse? I mean, Smash will carry my purse if I ask him to, because my hands are full or whatever, but he gives it back at the earliest opportunity. What guy insists on carrying a girlfriend's purse?



eh, depends on the dad. It can be a nice gesture...but it should be pretty obvious that that's all it is.



I don't care who pays for dinner as long as there's no fuss or awkwardness about it. I loathe arguing with a guy over who is paying for something. If you want to, I'll let you, just so long as the discussion can be over with as soon as possible. If you want me to, don't tell me you'll get it, because I *really* don't mind. Exception: if a guy asks me out to something that requires tickets, I expect he has or will be acquiring said tickets.



Strongly disagree. Of course, I don't mind being dressed or undressed.

It ends there without some that I consider more common...like the walking around the car and opening to door thing. I love having my car door opened when I'm getting into the car, but find it awkward to be expected to sit and wait for him to walk around the car to open the door for me. Of course, if I'm ******* around with stuff in my purse, and he's already gotten around the car and opened it, that might be ok...or maybe I'd just feel rushed.

Anything you'd add?

Nexa

In general I agree with Nexa's summary. I've never heard of a guy walking his date to the restroom, unless they were going to snort coke off the back of the toilet.

That would freak me out. "I'm going to the ladies' room." "Sure, let's go!" "... say what?"

I don't get why people invent code names for the restroom anyway. When I gotta go, I generally excuse myself by saying "I have to use the restroom." or depending on the situation, nothing at all.

"I'll be back" seems to be the standard around here.

I've always wanted a guy to lay down his jacket over a puddle for me before I had to walk right through it.

Most of the things mentioned are kinda of broad. There are circumstances in which they are appropriate and chivalrous and others in which they would be bullish and/or impractical and silly.

Things like opening the door for others is simply good manners for anyone. Helping put on a coat, or pulling out a chair is helpful and chivalrous but particularly if these are tasks that is obviously difficult for someone because of age or disability or whatever.

Drives my husband crazy if I simply say "I gotta pee". He thinks it's crude.

If there's more than one person headed for a door in a bunch, then whoever gets there first should open it and hold it open for all the rest, and go through last.

I mostly agree with Nexa, except I'm not really comfortable with my chair being scooted under me. Also, I'd hate to have everyone stand up whenever I stand up, because I wouldn't like to stand up for other people whenever they stood up to leave the room or do something.

I used to always open the car door for Flea. Now I forget sometimes and she sits in the car and 'glares' at me. She says that just 'cause we're married doesn't mean I get to slack on the dating stuff


Obviously this doesn't apply if we're running late or some other situation where it's impractical

Yeah, I don't get the whole car door thing. By the time I get out and get around to the passenger's side, the passenger could already be out of the car. Why sit there and wait for it? /shrug

Doors to buildings I can see, however.

Edit: my perspective of the car door is the exit phase. I guess I could see how, when entering a car, opening the door for the lady might make sense.

Edited, Nov 13th 2009 11:41am by BrownDuck

You, sir, are a wonderful person. The first thing my friends ask each other about their dates is "Did he pay?" and if the answer is no, there's always shaking of the head and "...oh"'s all around.

It's just one of those things with most women.

Paying for a date when you're the one asking is pretty standard, IMO. I've never heard of someone initiating a date and then blindly suggesting to go dutch or leech off the other person. Any guy (or girl) who does that deserves a swift kick in the shin.

I pretty much agree with Nexas opinions. Most of those are just plain weird or ones I havent heard of and are weird. But pulling out a chair, helping with a coat, and no awkwardness about who is paying for what goes a long way with me. They are just little things that show respect and courtesy and it will make me know the person isn't entirely self centered and is thoughtful. I dont get upset of those things dont happen, but it does make me sit up and take notice if they do. Ordering for me is cool only so long as I've already said what I want and the Mr is just placing both of our orders. But ordering for me without my input is a no go.

Opening the door for the person behind you is something done in the South, regardless of gender. Although, if you're both about the same age, merely holding the door open so that it doesn't slam in the next person's face is acceptable too.