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Can a boy wear a skirt to school?Follow

#102 Nov 15 2009 at 12:55 AM Rating: Good
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Inida wrote:
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a freshman girl at Rincon High School in Tucson who identifies as male was nominated for homecoming prince. Last May, a gay male student at a Los Angeles high school was crowned prom queen.

This part is what I have a problem with. You can say that you're male until you're blue in the face, but unless you have a *****, you're a girl. Girls aren't princes and boys aren't queens, sorry.


There's an important distinction to be drawn between sex and gender, because I think you're confusing the two. Sex is a biological fact which can't be changed without surgery. Gender is a social construct, which is by definition subject to change.

Think of it this way. A ***** is an aspect of the male sex, but wearing pants, playing sports and cutting their hair short are all aspects of the male gender. We can see that the latter is mutable: it will change over time depending on social mores. Three hundred years into the future, it may be considered masculine to wear ankle-length dresses, and maybe everyone will be bald so long hair will no longer be seen as effeminate.

You're thinking "This woman is deluding herself, she's not a guy, she hasn't got a *****." But that's her sex, which is mostly immutable. What she wants is to occupy the male role. S/he wants to behave and be treated as a man behaves and is treated. Which means cutting her hair short and stuffing balled-up socks into the crotch of her pants. Your mistake isn't unforgivable, since modern language tends to blend sex and gender together.

It's really a very minor problem to overcome once you get that distinction in your head. There's a reason why medical forms ask for your sex and not your gender.
#103 Nov 15 2009 at 8:12 AM Rating: Good
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since modern language tends to blend sex and gender together.


And rightly so.
#104 Nov 15 2009 at 9:21 AM Rating: Excellent
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Lady DSD wrote:
I remember a guy in my high school who was constantly dressing in skirts and dresses, wore nail polish frequently, etc. Our school had no issue with it, and neither did the majority of our peers. He even went to prom in a prom dress and his female friend went in a tux. It was talked about often at lunch in the cafeteria, but I honestly dont remember anyone giving him any gruff about it. I guess I dont see what the fuss is about. If a kid identifies with a gender I think the school should allow kids to dress as they feel comfortable so long as they follow the guidelines of the dress code for the opposite sex.
To be fair, you grew up is Massachusetts, a liberal bastion.

We know a little kid here, and since he was three he wears Disney princess outfits and princess crowns. When he was turning four he wanted a dress. His parents have gone from trying to steer him into a male gender identity gently to ignoring it, to worrying about what will happen when he goes into kindergarten this Fall, to hoping he outgrows it. These are liberal-minded people who love their son who are just simply at a loss with how to deal with this. They want to be supportive, but worry that the child will get hurt or teased due to the way he is. It's heartbreaking to me sometimes that this is something that is taken for granted, and that there is no real system in place for raising a confident, happy transgendered child.
#105 Nov 15 2009 at 9:57 AM Rating: Excellent
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I agree living up in MA may have had something to do with it, but I have to wonder why if it can work in one school (especially a high school) that type of acceptance from the school cant be nationwide. I also think, no matter how many schools offer acceptance in dressing differently, it's not going to be the school who causes issues the majority of the time, but kids, and there really isnt that much that can be done except for more stringent rules (which are already in place) in regards to bullying, and to educate people on what transgendered means. As we see here in this thread not everybody gets it.

I've often thought about how we would both allow our kids to feel safe in exploring if it ever came up they identified more with the opposite sex. I feel like the area I am in now would be more tolerant than many other places, but you never know until you wade in to the school system. The one thing I have noticed for the younger kids is that they will ask blunt questions, but they dont have the prejudiced built in yet. Maybe one thing your friends can do if they havent already, is to find some parents of kids their childs age who seem ok with it, and get him a posse of kids who get used to him dressing the way he likes, so by the time it is school he's already got a bunch of kids who are used to it and can help him stick up for himself. I can only speak from what I *think* I would do, but if it were my kids, I'd probably do that in the early years, then when it came time for school Id start making meetings with the principals, superintendent, anyone I could think of, and let them know this is the situation, he will be coming in to school dressed as he pleases because it's not worth a battle of therapies, and how can you (the school) help me help him. It might even mean getting in contact with the counties programs for Special Needs and see if they have anything to offer.
#106 Nov 15 2009 at 10:23 AM Rating: Good
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They want to be supportive, but worry that the child will get hurt or teased due to the way he is.


I don't personally know a single person to whom this did not happen.

A disney princess I guess would get it worse than normal, but what's really the alternative to endorsing whatever identity a child feels? Instead of getting the ludicrous amount of pride, required to endure the demonic 12 year old council of judgment (and the subsequent councils of demonic adults,) at a young age he'll have to develop it later anyway through some mid 20s existential crisis, with fewer resources at his disposal to deal with it.

Edited, Nov 15th 2009 11:33am by Pensive
#107 Nov 18 2009 at 9:39 PM Rating: Default
Why not? as long as it long.. Like the Pipers in U.K .. ^^
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