Forum Settings
       
« Previous 1 2 3
Reply To Thread

Eat My MeatFollow

QuoteReply
#1 Oct 30 2009 at 1:11 PM Rating: Excellent
Jophiel
View User Forum
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
I have a budding business enterprise going. Jophiel Biocuisines International is now providing the world with fresh, nutritious protein in the form of vat grown human flesh. In our spacious manufacturing labs, we are growing slabs of human muscle able to be cut up and served. Of course, in accordance to bioethical regulations, none of the vat tissues are capable of becoming actual sentient human beings. In fact, we scrambled the DNA in the donor tissue slightly just so you wouldn't be eating his/her vat-grown flesh and now it's just anonymous meat. How much should I sign you up for?
Shall you eat my meat?
No, I don't eat human meat on principle:9 (13.0%)
No, I don't eat vat grown products:3 (4.3%)
No, I don't eat vat grown products or human meat. You freak.:15 (21.7%)
I'll try it just this once... to say I tried it:24 (34.8%)
Sign me up for weekly deliveries.:18 (26.1%)
Total:69
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#2 Oct 30 2009 at 1:14 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1657498899608
Guru
*****
12,049 posts
How does this meat compare to regular meat? For example, fat content, protein content, taste, price?

If it's high in protein, lower in fat, tastes pretty good (texture counts in this case too, chewy and stringy are both turn-offs), and the price is comparable to the lean beef or chicken I usually buy, I'd love to eat your meat.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#3 Oct 30 2009 at 1:14 PM Rating: Good
Uglysasquatch
Soulless Internet Tiger
******
35,474 posts
How about growing vats of cow/pig instead.
____________________________
Donate. One day it could be your family.


An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo

▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#4 Oct 30 2009 at 1:17 PM Rating: Excellent
Jophiel
View User Forum
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
How about growing vats of cow/pig instead.

Funny thing, that. You can't get consent from a cow. Hey, I just vat grow the meat, I don't make the rules.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#5 Oct 30 2009 at 1:22 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1624234683084
Sage
***
2,824 posts
Do you offer a "veal" line?
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#6 Oct 30 2009 at 1:37 PM Rating: Excellent
Nadenu
Gurue
*****
16,299 posts
I'd say if you have enough A1 sauce, anything is edible.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#7 Oct 30 2009 at 1:41 PM Rating: Good
__DEL__1681085903309
View User Forum
Scholar
******
21,720 posts
Does this meat come in familiar cuts like ribeye or leg of child, or is it all just random "slab" and "ground meat substance"?

Edited, Nov 2nd 2009 11:30pm by BrownDuck
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#8 Oct 30 2009 at 1:43 PM Rating: Excellent
Nadenu
Gurue
*****
16,299 posts
I bet it comes in "sleeves" like vienna sausages!
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#9 Oct 30 2009 at 1:44 PM Rating: Good
Iamadam
@#%^
*****
15,953 posts
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross. I don't think I could even swallow it if I knew what it was.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#10 Oct 30 2009 at 1:49 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1622420402685
Scholar
*****
19,369 posts
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross.


4 out of 5 Bears disagree.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#11 Oct 30 2009 at 1:53 PM Rating: Good
Iamadam
@#%^
*****
15,953 posts
MentalFrog wrote:
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross.


4 out of 5 Bears disagree.


Really? Because I couldn't... bare... to eat another human.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#12 Oct 30 2009 at 1:54 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1681085903309
View User Forum
Scholar
******
21,720 posts
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
MentalFrog wrote:
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross.


4 out of 5 Bears disagree.


Really? Because I couldn't... bare... to eat another human.


But could you eat a bare human?
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#13 Oct 30 2009 at 1:54 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1657498899608
Guru
*****
12,049 posts
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
MentalFrog wrote:
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross.


4 out of 5 Bears disagree.


Really? Because I couldn't... bare... to eat another human.


That joke was really unbearable.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#14 Oct 30 2009 at 1:54 PM Rating: Excellent
Jophiel
View User Forum
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
I'm kind of amused that someone's objection was simply the vat-grown description. I suppose free-range humans would be okay.

BD, we can cut your human meat in a variety of familiar looking steaks, chops and other options.
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
I don't think I could even swallow it if I knew what it was.

Just chew it a while for flavor?

Edited, Oct 30th 2009 1:55pm by Jophiel
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#15 Oct 30 2009 at 1:55 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1681085903309
View User Forum
Scholar
******
21,720 posts
LockeColeMA wrote:
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
MentalFrog wrote:
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross.


4 out of 5 Bears disagree.


Really? Because I couldn't... bare... to eat another human.


That joke was really unbearable.


You bearly got away with that one yourself, Mr.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#16 Oct 30 2009 at 1:56 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1681085903309
View User Forum
Scholar
******
21,720 posts
Jophiel wrote:
I'm kind of amused that someone's objection was simply the vat-grown description. I suppose free-range humans would be okay.

BD, we can cut your human meat in a variety of familiar looking steaks, chops and other options.


My mom always said "If it looks like a steak, you don't know it's chopped liver!"

I'll take 20 pounds to start.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#17 Oct 30 2009 at 2:05 PM Rating: Excellent
Iamadam
@#%^
*****
15,953 posts
Also, I should say that I'd probably be fine with vat grown meats of other varieties... my only concern would be the nutritional value when compared with something that's raised naturally.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#18 Oct 30 2009 at 2:10 PM Rating: Excellent
Jophiel
View User Forum
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
I'm also amused that out of 125 page views, only 15 other people besides myself dared to answer Smiley: laugh
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#19 Oct 30 2009 at 2:15 PM Rating: Decent
Iamadam
@#%^
*****
15,953 posts
Clearly, your meat is creating a lot of inner conflict for people.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#20 Oct 30 2009 at 2:31 PM Rating: Excellent
Allegory
Repressed Memories
******
21,027 posts
Quote:
In fact, we scrambled the DNA in the donor tissue slightly just so you wouldn't be eating his/her vat-grown flesh and now it's just anonymous meat.

I think you're missing out on a huge business opportunity. What if I want a cutlet from my favorite band? A rump roast of the salacious **** star? A sirloin from Sir Loin?
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#21 Oct 30 2009 at 3:16 PM Rating: Excellent
Tare
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,293 posts
MentalFrog wrote:
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross.


4 out of 5 Bears Coyotes disagree.
____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#22 Oct 30 2009 at 4:27 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1716164190383
View User Forum
Sage
*****
19,999 posts
Jophiel wrote:
I'm also amused that out of 125 page views, only 15 other people besides myself dared to answer Smiley: laugh
They're afraid of what Flea will do to them if they admit that they want to eat your meat.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#23 Oct 30 2009 at 4:40 PM Rating: Good
__DEL__1592779098044
Sage
***
1,594 posts
We're gonna be going on Soylent Green eventually. Might as well start now.

Just make sure to send a few bottles of ketchup, barbecue sauce, A1, soy sauce, Worcestershire.. Just send an entire aisle of spices and sauces.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#24 Oct 30 2009 at 5:12 PM Rating: Good
__DEL__1622420402685
Scholar
*****
19,369 posts
Tare wrote:
MentalFrog wrote:
Iamadam the Shady wrote:
Sorry, but humans as food is just gross.


4 out of 5 Bears Coyotes disagree.


I was going to post a link but I was too lazy to google a bear attack.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#25 Oct 30 2009 at 5:23 PM Rating: Good
__DEL__1592267273743
Scholar
*****
10,359 posts
Jophiel wrote:
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
How about growing vats of cow/pig instead.

Funny thing, that. You can't get consent from a cow. Hey, I just vat grow the meat, I don't make the rules.


Actually yeah. No one is harmed in your meat making, and the donors are able to even give total and sane permission.

I'd order tons.
▲ Page top
QuoteReply
#26 Oct 30 2009 at 5:31 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1596990078323
View User Forum
Sage
*****
19,727 posts
I appear to be the sole voice of reason, honestly curious as to what people-meat tastes like yet unwilling to eat from a vat.
▲ Page top
« Previous 1 2 3
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 185 All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (185)
© 2024 Fanbyte LLC