I do believe I may be (was forum=28)Follow

Join the club?

Its all the same in the dark.

Okay with the serious face on.

I could pontificate at length about sexuality, but no one can really tell you how to deal with the things you want in other people, and I am talking about both physical and mental sex.

What exactly do you want help or advice on? There are practical things to think about, such as whether or how you will tell your friends, or how to go about thinking and owning your preferences as part of (part of, not defining) your identity, but the attraction properly isn't something to be advised; it just kind of happens.

Go **** yourself?


Seriously, this post is nothing more than attention whoring.

Hi, sexuality scares some people, and the oot talks about gay stuff all of the time. It's perfectly logical to ask something like this.

When I was going out to the gay bars in the early 90's, I surprisingly met with a lot of hostility against the bisexuals. Not just against me, but against other bi's, who were talked about nastily behind their backs, by people who didn't know that I myself was bi.

You'd have thought that the gays, who were in a persecuted minority at the time in Australia, would be more understanding and open minded. Ironically many of them weren't.

The attitude seemed to be that bisexuality wasn't real. Bi's were "gay people who are still in denial." "Gay people still hiding in the closet." Bi's were "young people trying things out to work out what they were." "Straight people trying to be fashionable, by having some gay sex."

Hopefully that attitude has changed a lot, and you won't meet so much of it.

I can tell you that the "Bi people are just greedy" joke got really old. And that was the nicest response if someone said anything at all.

All I can say, is, learn to relax, and if people say snarky things, tell yourself it's their problem, not yours.

Be prepared, that if you settle down with someone of the opposite sex, to have your feelings and attractions towards same sex people minimised in other people's heads. Be good with your partners, establish ground rules. I lived a long time with a partner who was cool with me picking up and having sex with women while I was with him, because he didn't feel competitive with women when it came to me. I lived a long time with a partner who wouldn't let me see anyone else in RL, male or female.


Eh. Be yourself. Enjoy people. Have fun. I had a real ball sharing in pointing out gorgeous girls on the street with my former male partner. I pretty totally became "one of the boys" with his little posse of male friends.

Use condoms if you and your sex partners haven't had all clear health checks since your last sexual partner.


I guess I should also add that I don't see anything less valid in a straight person exploring with same-sex partners out of curiosity, and finding out through experience where his/her boundaries really are. Sex should be about fun-lust and mutual giving, when it's not also about love. People should be allowed to have relaxed joy in it, however it is explored or done, not to be weighed down with other people's rules that apply to themselves.

Edited, Sep 20th 2009 4:59am by Aripyanfar

I thought this same thing when I began juggling the idea around. XD

A straight furry? Holy ****.

Seriously, it seems like people interested in alternative sexual desires (Furry mainly, I'm not a part of a community of any other) are often bi or homosexual. A purely straight individual is actually surprising to me these days. Maybe not that extreme, but the ratio of straight to other seems to have changed, or is changing. Or it's just the people within the group I've observed.

Sexual topics always lead me into psychology, a field that fascinates me. But it's 3 AM and I can't think of a good way to word what I'm trying to say, or would try to say.

I was actually on a site just today that contained alot of useful/truthful information about the psychology of the Internet.

But in the case of "I think we've always been this diverse in our sexual interests. The internet just helped prove that to ourselves." anonymity has a big role to play. <Insert the "anonymity allows you to do/say/explore things you wouldn't in real life" explanation here that we've all heard a million times before.>

This is it, you can navigate around. http://www-usr.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/disinhibit.html

"Straight" and "gay" as well as "bisexual" as well as even "pansexual" are simplified at best and entirely fraudulent at worst concepts that often convey zero information in terms of making a concept more clear.

It is not the case that "oh everyone is a little bit bisexual" because that characterization is just as fraudulent. It's also not the case that we can, or even should, abandon these sorts of orientations concerning sexuality. What is the case, is that "straight" or anything that determines your orientation or sexuality, including the words that I am using in this paragraph, are incomplete and flawed descriptions. They will never, and can never, precisely convey what you like to *****, cuddle with, marry, talk about life and dreams, or eat lunch with.

For example: there isn't a man in the world (I hope!) that is heterosexual according to the category of heterosexuality. If he was, he would want to *****, and would *****, his grandmother as well as his daughter as well as a 900pound woman with turtles for hands. No man, not even a "straight" man, likes the categorical woman! He likes a selectively determined kind of woman which is pared down from the platonic Woman at large according to a list of attractive qualities that he finds in that particular set of people (women.) The problem is that the list is indefinitely large, and practically infinite; you're never going to fully elucidate and clarify your feelings by using words, unless we can develop some sort of mind-melding technology that merges consciousnesses.

So what do you do? You can ignore the problem and keep getting bogged down in stupid **** and debates about whether or not something is truly, scottishly "straight" or not, which is bad. You can try to make up a crapload of awesome concepts to describe the lists of attractions you have, or you could continue paring away words and concepts until you isolate the things on your list. As long as you don't pick the first option, the other two are both quite swell.

Pensive, sometimes we need short words for large concepts, so we can get things done and live our lives, instead of taking 48 hours to greet your grandmother when she walks in the door. =(

What we need to do is do is do that sort of theoretical microexplorings of concepts in academic settings, and have laypeople read that king of thing, or summaries, or findings, in their leisure hours. Microexploration by laypeople can also be good and useful as a leisure activity.

We also need to realise when we have an unreasonable prejudice against a class of people/things, that is associated with one word. When that happens, we have to spend some time consciousness raising, either retaining or discarding that word while we do so.

Basically what I'm saying, is that when we've dissected a simple word, we're usually going to have to come back to using a simple word, because we need to talk in shorthand. Explicating on the usual shorthand, when it's relevant.

Ok, I'll agree with you there. That's doinitrite.

Sure, if he had specific questions about a pending relationship or specific feelings, go right ahead. As it stands, his OP was nothing more than a "HAI LOOK AT ME" post, which, while endearing when Nix does it, is rather annoying, generally speaking.

This one may be hairy.