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Balancing DomesticityFollow

#1 Aug 10 2009 at 8:38 AM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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I heard a little blurb on the radio this morning about a 'helpful husband' study done by an Oxford Economist.

It's not surprising that Norwegian and Swedish men are most helpful around the house. US ranked 4th, while Germany and then Australia brought up the rear. I'd link the study, but I can't find it anywhere.

What I'm wondering is, how does your household split up the housework? Is it the stereotypical gender jobs - men take out the garbage, clean the garage and bring home the bacon - or, is there more shared effort? How about same sex households...are there any gender bias roles that peeps have fallen into?

How does this compare to your childhood family? Have domestic chores and duties changed and kept pace with women in the workforce?

In our house, I can honestly say we split the work. I do most of the daily upkeep like dishes, picking up and putting away, wiping down counters etc. He seems to take to the weekly/biweekly jobs like changing bedding, and the floors. We share cooking because we both enjoy it. We also share laundry, although I'm really picky about how stuff gets folded or hung, so spend more time at it. We share yardwork, although, he does certainly take on more of the heavier-duty jobs cuz he's heavier-duty than me. Oh, I do bathrooms. Smiley: glare

As a kid, despite the fact that my mom worked full time, my dad did no inside housework beyond cooking a couple of his 'signature' meals.
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#2 Aug 10 2009 at 8:47 AM Rating: Excellent
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We share the work. I won't try to nail down ratios but we both do general tasks like the dishes, picking up, etc. She does the lion's share of the cooking and I do the outdoor tasks such as mowing the lawn or shoveling the driveway. Also, she tends to fold/hang laundry. I'm great for putting clothes in the washer, dryer and then leaving them in a lump on a chair. I'd happily live out of my chair lump if left undisturbed since I iron my clothes in the morning anyway.

As a kid, my mother was a stay-at-home mom so she did the cleaning and my father probably mowed the lawn or whatever. Then they divorced and my sister and I got roped into household duties. I don't think I ever saw my father dusting or sweeping.

Edited, Aug 10th 2009 11:48am by Jophiel
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#3 Aug 10 2009 at 8:48 AM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
I'm great for putting clothes in the washer, dryer and then leaving them in a lump on a chair. I'd happily live out of my chair lump if left undisturbed since I iron my clothes in the morning anyway.


One hamper for clean and one hamper for dirty Smiley: nod
#4 Aug 10 2009 at 8:51 AM Rating: Decent
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Pensive the Ludicrous wrote:
Quote:
I'm great for putting clothes in the washer, dryer and then leaving them in a lump on a chair. I'd happily live out of my chair lump if left undisturbed since I iron my clothes in the morning anyway.


One hamper for clean and one hamper for dirty Smiley: nod
I despise lumps of clothes taking up residence in my living room.
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#5 Aug 10 2009 at 8:58 AM Rating: Good
I do the dishes and empty the ashtrays, she does the cooking.
#6 Aug 10 2009 at 9:10 AM Rating: Excellent
I make breakfast, and she gets the fuck out of my apartment before I'm done.
#7 Aug 10 2009 at 9:34 AM Rating: Decent
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and she gets the **** out of my apartment before I'm done.


That must be frustrating.
#8 Aug 10 2009 at 10:27 AM Rating: Excellent
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I make breakfast, watch Thom, clean up, run errands, take Thom with me, do the dishes, the laundry, pick up toys, play with Thom, sweep up, shop for groceries, put Thom to bed and when I have a job, I work.

My wife sits around watching TV and drinking beer, resenting any time she has to spend watching Thom. If I bug her enough she may spend half an hour folding laundry, or washing a few dishes, but the rest of her time is spent ******** when she runs out of cigarettes and beer.

I think I'm getting the raw end of the deal here.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#9 Aug 10 2009 at 10:28 AM Rating: Decent
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Oh..and when I was growing up my dad worked and spent a lot of time traveling the globe for work, so my mom did everything. Occasionally my dad cooked some exotic foreign foods.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#10 Aug 10 2009 at 10:38 AM Rating: Good
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I do all the cooking (I actually enjoy it), and she'll usually do the dishes 2-3 days later. Neither of us really cleans at all unless we have people coming over, and when that happens she's a lot more efficient than me - I tend to be very meticulous and get held up on small tasks like going through each piece of mail on our coffee table, while she just grabs armfuls of whatever's in reach and shoves it under our bed or in the closet. I take out the trash, and we each do our own laundry which is a much bigger task for her because she has a lot more clothes than me (she somehow generates 5-6 loads of laundry in the same time it takes me to generate 2). Living together in a 600-sq. foot apartment can be interesting at times :).
#11 Aug 10 2009 at 11:38 AM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
I make breakfast, watch Thom, clean up, run errands, take Thom with me, do the dishes, the laundry, pick up toys, play with Thom, sweep up, shop for groceries, put Thom to bed and when I have a job, I work.

My wife sits around watching TV and drinking beer, resenting any time she has to spend watching Thom. If I bug her enough she may spend half an hour folding laundry, or washing a few dishes, but the rest of her time is spent ******** when she runs out of cigarettes and beer.

Shit, I didn't even know my ex remarried.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#12 Aug 10 2009 at 12:07 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Shit, I didn't even know my ex remarried.

You know, I've been meaning to talk to you...
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#13 Aug 10 2009 at 12:30 PM Rating: Decent
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When I was a kid, My mom did most of the cleaning and cooking because she had decided to do home daycare so that she could be home both when my brother and I left for, and got home from school(which was a block and a half away).

My dad did the laundry every Sunday and was the one working. He would also cook one or twice every couple weeks too.

My brother and I took turns nightly doing dishes, we had to keep our rooms clean, and we had to help fold the laundry. As we got older we started helping take care of the kids my mom babysat.

It was a good system.
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#14 Aug 10 2009 at 12:50 PM Rating: Good
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I'd say it's fairly equal with all things considering. I do the lions share of cleaning: cook on week nights, laundry, sweep, mop, vacuum, bathrooms, and sometimes dishes, plus take care of the kids from after breakfast until after dinner time, including watching over homework. I put Ashe to bed. The Mr takes care of the kids before breakfast (he makes them breakfast too) and takes over after dinner. He does trash, recyclables,helps with laundry, usually does dishes, and cooks on the weekends. He puts Xavier to bed and every other night we switch off dealing with a crying Soren when he has a bad night. The kids tidy up the living room each night, and are in charge of setting and clearing the table each night, plus Xavier brings his laundry down or up depending on its clean status. Ashe helps sort laundry.
#15 Aug 10 2009 at 1:11 PM Rating: Good
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In our house we split the chores up evenly: I hire the Mexican to do the yard, she hires the Brazilian to clean the house.

Domestic bliss ensues.
#16 Aug 10 2009 at 2:44 PM Rating: Good
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Chores are split up evenly and one will pitch in when the other is doing something, as long as the other asks. There's no mind-reading in my home. If you want help with something, ask for it. We do not get into the whole debate of "you're supposed to want to want to do <insert chore> with me."
#17 Aug 10 2009 at 2:53 PM Rating: Decent
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Chores are split up evenly and one will pitch in when the other is doing something, as long as the other asks. There's no mind-reading in my home. If you want help with something, ask for it. We do not get into the whole debate of "you're supposed to want to want to do <insert chore> with me."

"Why would I *want* to do the dishes?"

It's not that you're supposed to want to do the dishes. It's that they need to get done regardless of how fond you are of doing them.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#18 Aug 10 2009 at 3:02 PM Rating: Good
Gurue
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Deb, do you think maybe your wife has PPD?
#19 Aug 10 2009 at 4:57 PM Rating: Good
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I assumed you were exaggerating Deb but if youre not dude, somethings wrong with that picture
#20 Aug 10 2009 at 5:01 PM Rating: Decent
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No, she was pretty much just as useless before the baby. But before, at least, she did have a job.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#21 Aug 10 2009 at 5:16 PM Rating: Good
Gurue
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Ugh, sorry to hear that.
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