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Would you die for your partner?Follow

#1 Jul 14 2009 at 4:09 PM Rating: Good
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This story is very interesting and bought a tear to my eye.

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The distinguished British conductor Sir Edward Downes and his wife Lady Joan have ended their lives at the Dignitas clinic in Zurich, their children revealed today.

The 85-year-old maestro had become virtually blind and had lost some of his hearing, while his 74-year-old wife had been suffering from cancer, according to a statement released by their son and daughter, Caractacus and Boudicca.

Rather than struggle on with their health problems, they decided to end their lives peacefully together last Friday, "under circumstances of their own choosing".

They follow more than 100 British people in making the journey to die in Switzerland, where assisted suicide is legal.


I have always said that if I start losing my faculties and start a slow decline into the loss of my independance that I would prefer to end my life. The one thing I had not considered was this particular situation. Dying with my partner if I was old, reduced in mobility and they were terminally ill.

I would hope if I chose to die, it would be of chocolate poisoning ...

So to all those who are married .. would you die with your partner if you both made it past 70 and they were terminally ill?

#2 Jul 14 2009 at 4:23 PM Rating: Decent
If I had reached a point in my life where I was happy with all that I had done and did not wish to bear the agony of losing the one I love most, yeah, I'd do it in a heart beat. The exception is that if I were healthy and had kids left, I'd stick around for them. However, in the story, it doesn't sound like either of them was very healthy.
#3 Jul 14 2009 at 4:45 PM Rating: Good
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The Great BrownDuck wrote:
If I had reached a point in my life where I was happy with all that I had done and did not wish to bear the agony of losing the one I love most, yeah, I'd do it in a heart beat. The exception is that if I were healthy and had kids left, I'd stick around for them. However, in the story, it doesn't sound like either of them was very healthy.


But if you killed yourself at 85 just because you were almost blind and nearly deaf and your 75 year old wife was terminally ill... you wouldn't be able to get a 20 year old girlfriend after your wife passed.
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#4 Jul 14 2009 at 5:28 PM Rating: Decent
TirithRR wrote:
The Great BrownDuck wrote:
If I had reached a point in my life where I was happy with all that I had done and did not wish to bear the agony of losing the one I love most, yeah, I'd do it in a heart beat. The exception is that if I were healthy and had kids left, I'd stick around for them. However, in the story, it doesn't sound like either of them was very healthy.


But if you killed yourself at 85 just because you were almost blind and nearly deaf and your 75 year old wife was terminally ill... you wouldn't be able to get a 20 year old girlfriend after your wife passed.


What good is a 20 year old girlfriend if you're blind?
#5 Jul 14 2009 at 5:29 PM Rating: Good
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The Great BrownDuck wrote:
TirithRR wrote:
The Great BrownDuck wrote:
If I had reached a point in my life where I was happy with all that I had done and did not wish to bear the agony of losing the one I love most, yeah, I'd do it in a heart beat. The exception is that if I were healthy and had kids left, I'd stick around for them. However, in the story, it doesn't sound like either of them was very healthy.


But if you killed yourself at 85 just because you were almost blind and nearly deaf and your 75 year old wife was terminally ill... you wouldn't be able to get a 20 year old girlfriend after your wife passed.


What good is a 20 year old girlfriend if you're blind?


You can still touch her.
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#6 Jul 14 2009 at 5:34 PM Rating: Good
Annabella, Goblin in Disguise wrote:
The Great BrownDuck wrote:
TirithRR wrote:
The Great BrownDuck wrote:
If I had reached a point in my life where I was happy with all that I had done and did not wish to bear the agony of losing the one I love most, yeah, I'd do it in a heart beat. The exception is that if I were healthy and had kids left, I'd stick around for them. However, in the story, it doesn't sound like either of them was very healthy.


But if you killed yourself at 85 just because you were almost blind and nearly deaf and your 75 year old wife was terminally ill... you wouldn't be able to get a 20 year old girlfriend after your wife passed.


What good is a 20 year old girlfriend if you're blind?


You can still touch her.


Yeah, I don't get off if I'm not visually stimulated. /shrug
#7 Jul 14 2009 at 5:40 PM Rating: Excellent
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My answer is no.
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#8 Jul 14 2009 at 5:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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I plan to live a life of solitude so this partner will never exist. That, and I'm sure Taco Bell will kill me before I have to worry about any other person dieing.
#9 Jul 14 2009 at 6:28 PM Rating: Good
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It depends on how senile we are by then. Maybe.
#10 Jul 14 2009 at 7:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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I don't see how this qualifies as "dying for your partner". They both had serious health issues and decided to go out together.

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#11 Jul 14 2009 at 7:15 PM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
I don't see how this qualifies as "dying for your partner". They both had serious health issues and decided to go out together.



Well, she had the serious health issues. He had relatively normal old person issues.
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#12 Jul 14 2009 at 8:18 PM Rating: Excellent
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well, maybe if it wasn't too obnoxious a color...

But seriously, there would have to be a very fine line. Would I give my life to protect the right person? Probably. Would I trade places with them if I knew they were about to take a fatal bullet? I dunno. I like to think I would if I were that in love, but when the time came, I don't really know what I would do.

But committing suicide to be with someone else in death, no. Not really for religious reasons. I just think that killing yourself for any reason is giving up. Nannite medicine delivery systems are far from practical or widespread at this point, but they do exist on a small scale. It's really only a matter of time at this point before we start seeing some truly remarkable medical breakthroughs. Cancer is easy to cure if you can drive a tiny little robot directly to every tumor cell and vaporize it without harming the surrounding tissue. Old age is easy to cure if you can copy the missing telemeres (sp) from a stored sample or a stem cell and surgically graft them onto a cell. We won't see things like this for 20, maybe 30 years, but there will come a day when they will be widespread and taken for granted. If I don't live to see it, my children will.

Given the capabilities we know are practically possible already, and the rapid state of electronic advancement (memristors for example) I can't ever say I'd be willing to take the quick way out.

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#13 Jul 14 2009 at 9:57 PM Rating: Good
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I would intentionally die for noone.
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#14 Jul 14 2009 at 10:35 PM Rating: Decent
I'm not really religious, but I'd still have doubts just in case there's really eternal damnation for suicide.
#15 Jul 15 2009 at 12:34 AM Rating: Good
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Dying in place of my partner counts as a heroic sacrifice, and is totally okay. Killing yourself because your partner is dead counts as suicide and I wouldn't do that. Not for religious reasons. I just think that the vast majority of people who are suicidal aren't thinking straight.

If I was in love with someone and they decided they wanted to die, I wouldn't try to follow them. I'd be pretty pissed off at them for wanting to die with me instead of living with me.
#16 Jul 15 2009 at 12:36 AM Rating: Good
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I wouldn't want my partner to be anyone other than someone I loved enough to die for.

Dying with someone, however... no. Maybe if we were both CERTAIN death was coming and was unavoidable. I can't emphasize certain and unavoidable enough.

#17 Jul 15 2009 at 1:45 AM Rating: Excellent
I completely understand why he chose to die with her, and I would've done the same thing. Not only does his wife of 44 years only have a few painful weeks to live, he was almost blind and deaf. Considering he was a musician/conductor, it means that everything he loved is pretty much gone. At 85, I would not hesitate a second. I'd go with her. Better than having a few more miserable years in the hands of some carer.

I also think assisted suicide is a good thing. These clinics in Switzerland do a necessary job. I think it's crazy that the state can prevent people from dying in a manner they choose, with the dignity they deserve. We don't choose how we come to this world, but we should be able to choose how we leave it.
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#18 Jul 15 2009 at 2:20 AM Rating: Decent
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I can't state my opinion on this topic because I've never felt this way about another person, however, I definitely respect their choice and fully support assisted suicide.
#19 Jul 15 2009 at 2:54 AM Rating: Decent
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GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
Would you die for your partner?


Another person is only good to me as long as the facilitate some want or need I may have, so no, I would most certainly not die for anyone but myself. And since I would absolutely love for myself to never die, I don't believe I would die intentionally for any reason.

I would prefer ******** on myself in all of its elderly glory, out of the sick joy of making some orderly at a care home clean me, than pass on into the absolutly frightening abyss of death.
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#20 Jul 15 2009 at 3:54 AM Rating: Good
Busaman the Mighty wrote:
Another person is only good to me as long as the facilitate some want or need I may have


You have much to learn about love, young padawan.
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#21 Jul 15 2009 at 4:26 AM Rating: Good
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I would die for my husband or children, in a heartbeat. If they were in danger and I had the ability to put myself in their place in order to keep them safe it wouldnt even be a thought. But dying with would honestly have to have the perfect storm scenario like this couple: old, terminal, losing faculties, kids grown up and have lives of their own, etc. There is a big difference between dying for and with.
#22 Jul 15 2009 at 4:51 AM Rating: Decent
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RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Busaman the Mighty wrote:
Another person is only good to me as long as the facilitate some want or need I may have


You have much to learn about love, young padawan.


I'm not convinced yet that love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in my brain or an emotional weakness of addmiting "I'm not good enough to make myself happy but maybe if I attach myself to this other equally confused being I'll feel happier".

As you can guess every female I've planted my ***** In
and sometImes lived with is no longer around lol. Im open to the idea of love but it just seems as silly as good/evil, god, hero's, fate, easter bunny, etc.

I do envy people like that couple and hope I'm wrong on many things in life but for me, apathy towards others and self presertvation seem like a solid corse for now.
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#23 Jul 15 2009 at 5:18 AM Rating: Good
Busaman the Mighty wrote:
I'm not convinced yet that love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in my brain


Probably not, but everything is a "chemical reaction" in your brain. It doesn't make it any less real or valid, though.

Quote:
I do envy people like that couple and hope I'm wrong on many things in life but for me, apathy towards others and self presertvation seem like a solid corse for now.


For now, maybe.
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#24 Jul 15 2009 at 5:20 AM Rating: Good
Lady DSD wrote:
I would die for my husband or children, in a heartbeat. If they were in danger and I had the ability to put myself in their place in order to keep them safe it wouldnt even be a thought.


Absolutely.

On the other hand, if my partner was terminal, I'd be hard pressed to find life so precious or magical that I'd be capable of mustering enough excitement to continue living. I'd probably opt for suicide. Public, naked suicide that involves thousands upon thousands of spectators, preferably.
#25 Jul 15 2009 at 5:50 AM Rating: Good
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Barkingturtle wrote:

On the other hand, if my partner was terminal, I'd be hard pressed to find life so precious or magical that I'd be capable of mustering enough excitement to continue living.


I have always wondered what my reaction would be if I were faced with this, especially now with kids. It's different the moment you add in other people who need you.If my husband was terminal I dont know how I would live without him emotionally, yet at the same time I would have to be strong for the boys and carry on. But I dont know how. It's one of those things that I dont know how I will react unless it happens and I hope Im never ever faced with that. I could see myself ending up in a mental ward for a little while if anything happened to my family.

Someone I know had this just happen to her. Her husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Both in their 30's. They have 2 young boys. He just passed away 2 weeks ago after fighting hard. Shes up in Mass with family now, but I can not fathom how she is holding up for her boys while knowing the love of her life is gone and she has to raise their kids alone now.
#26 Jul 15 2009 at 5:56 AM Rating: Good
While I normally find the fumbling of others somewhat amusing, nothing quite hits the spot like MySpace existentialism. I find this clumsy cynicism uplifting in a way I find hard to articulate. In the blind terror of others I see the absurdity of my own fears.

Plus it's just really, really funny.
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