Speaking of what is sex...Follow

It probably would, though I don't agree with that. I'm going to be completely open with my son when he gets to that age. I wouldn't mind buying my kid **** or possibly a toy or two. You gotta admit, it might be kinda weird for your parents to buy you that kind of stuff.

It would. But I'd guess that if the family were open about stuff like that it'd be less weird.

I know I hated having my mom approach me when I used to scratch myself in public as a kid... she thought I was playing with myself but in reality, things were just itchy and uncomfortable and needed to be shifted. That problem went away with boxers though. No more bunching or twisting.

I plan to talk to my kids about ************ and encourage them (especially any girls I might have) to find out how to give themselves pleasure before trying to find it with a partner. I plan to talk to my son(s) about the importance of respect for their partner and understanding that their partner is not there just to give them pleasure, but that pleasure within sex should be reciprocal.

Anorgasmia is a very common issue amongst young women (been there, done that), and a leading cause of dissatisfaction within relationships. Any sex therapist worth his or her fee will, as the first step in therapy, instruct a woman experiencing anorgasmia to ********** and explore what feels good to her. Because if you don't know what feels good for yourself, how can you possibly expect your partner to know what feels good for you?

And lets be honest, here. The girls hooking up at a young age probably aren't getting much pleasure out of it. God knows the hair-trigger boys they're hooking up with aren't helping them explore their pleasure. Those girls are having sex for the sake of being liked, not because it's giving them orgasms. All this is going to lead to is self-esteem issues born of a lifelong habit of performing for a partner's pleasure with no expectation of receiving pleasure themselves. If I can in ANY way help my child avoid that, I will.

So, talk about ************* You betcha. Provide them with sex books, or even toys? Quite possibly. Will this earn me any number of disgusted looks and "ohmigod you're embarrassing me!" moments? I'm sure it will. I'll do it anyway. And if anyone wants to accuse me of "covert" incest, I'll happily explain my reasons.

16 is a little late, dontcha thing?

I think I started reading those around...oh, 11 or so?

Actually, I think it was a Kathleen E. Woodiwiss novel, who remains to this day one of the few romance authors I can actually tolerate, probably because she actually uses the language extremely well.

Vintage VC Andrews definitely had its appeal, and yeah, Flowers In the Attic was particularly warped, especially since you actually find yourself understanding how this brother and sister can never be with anyone else and finding them being together to be, if not "normal" then at least worthy of sympathy.

The cookie-cutter crap being published posthumously in her name doesn't even come close.

Yeah that was about the time I started borrowing my mom's Lavyrle Spencers and Nora Roberts books.

Later on I discovered I didn't like the melodrama so much, and today my favorite authors include the lighter fair of Teresa Medeiros and Mary Balogh. But those early romance novels affected me a lot as a writer - there's a scene in one of Lavyrle Spencer's books where the couple is in a grocery store flirting, and a bottle of ketchup becomes a phallic object.

I don't really think there's any consent involved in self-pleasure. The only reason to restrict self-anything is if it causes harm, which ********************* doesn't do. At all.

That said, no-one ever taught me anything about jacking off and I figured it out okay. Oprah's wrong, anyway. It didn't stop me trying to get actual sex. In fact, ************ just drew attention to the fact that I didn't actually have a girlfriend.

I think the main reason teenage girls have sex before they really want to is because of pressure from their boyfriends and peers. The main reason teenage guys try so hard to get laid is because getting laid is a badge of man-honour when you're 15. Also, testosterone.

Well, someone who wanted to pick nits could get into public ************************** and the notion that ************ in front of an unwilling witness is a violation of their right to consent, but yeah.

I think the question in the OP, though, is about the idea of "covert incest," (I think that's the term they used in SVU) which is the existence of a sexual "vibe" (for lack of a better word) between an adult and a child. IIRC, the example in SVU dealt with a father who never touched his daughter, but was always looking at her breasts, commenting on how she was developing and becoming a woman in such a way that indicated he was viewing her as a sex object--in other words, not in an innocent "aww, gee, you're really growing up" kind of way, but rather in a creepy, "my my look how you're 'growing'" (as his eyes are fixed on her breasts) way. The sort of behavior that could get you slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit in the workplace. Sometimes it might go as far as "grooming" behaviors where the adult starts to influence the child's sexual behavior, sort of trying to mold them into the adults fantasy partner while still not ever touching them.

Anyway, the question--if I'm understanding it properly--is whether or not encouraging a child to ********** and providing them with aids to self-pleasure--could be considered covert incest, and whether or not you could get into legal trouble for it.

First of all, I'm not sure there's really a lot of legal ramification to covert incest to begin with. It mainly exists as a silent vibe between the adult and child that, while it leaves the child feeling sexually violated in an intangible way, could probably be excused by anyone who inquired as a harmless comment misinterpreted by an imaginative child. I'd be interested to know if there have ever been any charges brought against an adult--or whether a parent has ever lost custody--based on claims of covert incest. I doubt there have been many--if any--cases where such a claim has actually stuck, because it's an awfully gray area.

I suppose if there WERE legal grounds to prosecute and/or take custody from a parent for covert incest, then yes, instructing your child about ************ and/or providing them with implements could qualify in the same way that taking pictures of your child playing in the bath could be prosecuted as child pron. Perhaps some sort of "corruption of a minor" charge might stick, but I'm just not sure that realistically it would happen.



Edited, Jun 16th 2009 10:10am by Ambrya

Interesting. I googled "covert incest" ... lots of hits ... can't find any news stories about people being prosecuted specifically for it. I'm thinking it would take strong evidence of it as emotional child abuse to inspire governmental action.