Warchief Annabella wrote:
I was listening to Dan Savage who was talking about how the religious right has preached abstinence only education to religious young people, many of whom have been incredibly heteronormative and literal and do everything but vaginal intercourse. They do ****. Seriously. Oral. But not vaginal intercourse b/c filling your other orifices isn't quite the same as filling the ******.
It's kinda contextual though, isn't it? If the objective is to prevent unwanted pregnancies, then there's nothing wrong with focusing on vaginal penetration as the big "no no" to abstain from. There's also nothing wrong with the abstinence being targeted in a "heteronormative" manner either...
Quote:
So I'd ask you, in a Bill Clintonesque fashion, what would you consider losing your virginity and what would you consider sex?
I think there's a difference between what constitutes losing your virginity, versus what constitutes "having sex". Most people assume losing one's virginity involve penetration of the ****** with the *****. Obviously, that's in the context of a heterosexual relationship. Um... But that's typically what virginity signifies. If we just want to expand it to mean any sort of sexual activity, then a hand job might be sufficient. I just think it kinda loses it's relevance outside of that context...
But, if we are to do so, I think it's about doing something beyond just petting within whatever sexual context is involved. In a broad (and perhaps easy rule of thumb), one could look at how undressed one gets when looking at non-traditional sexual encounters. Most lesbians I know look back to their first time getting fully naked on a bed/couch/rug and spending quality time with another woman as their virginity-loss experience. Kissing and petting is one thing, but that's considered the "whole thing" in terms of sexual experience.
As to what "sex" is? I'd say any sort of contact involving parts of the body we don't normally allow you to interact with in public. So, kissing is not sex, but a hand job is. So, basically, anything involving contact under or without clothing is "sex" IMO.