Random Musing o' the DayFollow

I fear the pituitary gland.

What's up in your random, little mind?

I shot the albatross, and it had to be
One of us, "Twas him or me.

Lately my head has felt compressed. I can't really concentrate on anything, things that use to be simple are now frustrating. I don't seem to care about much. I'm tired all the time. All I really do lately is wait through life hoping I'll feel different the next day.

Here's a secret: they're not all wings.

Humerus - 1 bone
radius & ulna - 2 bones

Same as our arms, numb-nuts

Why is it called a funny bone? Because it's a humerus!

When I was 11, I got into a fight with my little brother . It all stemmed from him getting one of those tattoos that you apply with water on his ar m. The night before, we'd seen the village people on some music channel singing 'Macho Macho Man'.

My dad explained that the village people were 'wooly woofters'(his words) and my brother and I, me 11, him 8, were a little shocked at the whole concept. Him because he thought boys kissing boys was wrong, me because I hadn't quite grown out of the 'boys are stinky' stage , so I thought kissing boys was wrong too .

Anyway, I couldn't help noticing a couple of the village people had tattoos, so I followed my brother around all day singing 'Macho Macho Man ' until he pushed me into a wall, and I broke my right humerus bone.

So, I went to hospital . I was in a lot of pain, but I wasn't entirely convinced it was serious - I could still wiggle my fingers after all. When the doctors started talking about 'Right Humerus' I thought first a) You northern tossers, the word is very . Very Humourous. Get it right you Northern Tossers and b) It's actually not very funny at all .

Then they gave me some nitrous oxide, I married a unicorn, we gave birth to squirrels and we all lived happily every after .

I bloody love nitrous oxide .

That if there was a God, I'd be thanking him left and right for not making human pregnancies last as long as an elephants. The human race would have been long gone by now if we were pregnant for 2 years per spawn.

Of the Wombat... Beware!

I think the most efficient way to start a cult would begin with a secluded piece of land and a plan to kidnap some little girls.

Unless the little black kid in the neighborhood is beating the snot out of him everyday, I wouldn't worry about it. Gotta look at the root cause.

Might be

har har, you want another? That's funny.

Yeah, there's no way I'd have another one, even if one of you carried it for me. Ugh.