Jophiel wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Woah woah woah, hold the phone. You *weren't* a badger-rancher? Like before? I mean, ever?
Oh! Oh, well, ok then.
Nexa
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No, no, baby... I was a badger-rancher then... I meant, you know, like other times. Times you weren't there.
Oh! Oh, well, ok then.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
I'm far from an established poster in =4. I usually don't have an opinion worth posting that hasn't been adequately conveyed by another poster earlier in the thread, which pretty much makes me a lurker for the most part.
I'm posting here is because, statistically, more than a few of you may end up dealing with me personally. I work in the compliance office of a company that manufactures, distributes, and monitors breath alcohol ignition interlock devices. When people get caught driving under the influence, many states require an interlock to be installed in their vehicle. I'm the guy that has to make sure that the bub that's been ordered to have the equipment actually shows up to the installation appointment, follows their states regulations while using the equipment, and get the equipment recalibrated as needed.
It sounds boring, and usually it is, but sometimes I get to deal with a real gem. The people out there that have no accountability for their own actions, who blame the government, the cops, or even me for ruining whatever drabbles of a life they had to begin with. These people are usually in their 40s or 50s, are on their 5th or 6th DUI offense, and generally don't even want to deal with me directly, instead they pass the buck to their parents and have them sort out whatever messes they've gotten themselves into.
Basically... I work with internet trolls that had the misfortune of being born 30 years too early. Not being able to post goatse and spew inane garbage on public forums during their critical formative years, these sad souls turned to the bottle, then their vehicle, and ended up having their case file plopped down on my desk.
I'm posting here is because, statistically, more than a few of you may end up dealing with me personally. I work in the compliance office of a company that manufactures, distributes, and monitors breath alcohol ignition interlock devices. When people get caught driving under the influence, many states require an interlock to be installed in their vehicle. I'm the guy that has to make sure that the bub that's been ordered to have the equipment actually shows up to the installation appointment, follows their states regulations while using the equipment, and get the equipment recalibrated as needed.
It sounds boring, and usually it is, but sometimes I get to deal with a real gem. The people out there that have no accountability for their own actions, who blame the government, the cops, or even me for ruining whatever drabbles of a life they had to begin with. These people are usually in their 40s or 50s, are on their 5th or 6th DUI offense, and generally don't even want to deal with me directly, instead they pass the buck to their parents and have them sort out whatever messes they've gotten themselves into.
Basically... I work with internet trolls that had the misfortune of being born 30 years too early. Not being able to post goatse and spew inane garbage on public forums during their critical formative years, these sad souls turned to the bottle, then their vehicle, and ended up having their case file plopped down on my desk.
Jophiel wrote:
I missed your previous request. I'm an estimator for a large commercial landscape company in the Chicago area. Warehouses, government buildings, shopping malls, that sort of thing. We get plans in and I break them down to price them, decide what we're gonna charge, bounce it back and forth with the salespeople and what they want to charge, arrive at an agreement and create proposals for it. More to it than that (contracts, submittals, etc) but that's the crux of it.
Thanks for answering. I was curious because of the research of numbers and other information that you put in to some of your posts. I figured you might have some type of researchy job. Not that you don't...just different. You're kinda like Tom Symkowski, with mad people skillz.
Quote:
Back when I was single, I told chicks I was a badger-rancher. It was just easier.
I told chicks I was a beaver-rancher, I was single for a very, very long time.
Edit:
Quote:
I'm sure you said beaver wrangler until it occurred to you to edit it.
Eh, beat me to it.
Edited, May 14th 2009 9:25pm by BoondockSaint
I'm not sure what I do anymore. I'm reasonably certain that I'm being held prisoner by my current contractee who has extended my employment, essentially two weeks at a time every two weeks since January.
Today someone told me they wanted me to help with FDA compliance and then winked at me, so I'm a little suspicions that my job might soon be ferrying brown paper sacks of cash to federal regulators.
Today someone told me they wanted me to help with FDA compliance and then winked at me, so I'm a little suspicions that my job might soon be ferrying brown paper sacks of cash to federal regulators.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Smasharoo wrote:
Today someone told me they wanted me to help with FDA compliance and then winked at me, so I'm a little suspicions that my job might soon be ferrying brown paper sacks of cash to federal regulators.
Could be, though I'd run if they tried handing you some knee pads.
Smasharoo wrote:
I'm a little suspicions that my job might soon be ferrying brown paper sacks of cash to federal regulators.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
I spend large parts of my day trying to convince IT departments that they really need a new blade system or SAN, despite having no funding, and then set appointments with the account execs for further convincing.
Thankfully, I have the easy end of the task. The account execs are the ones that have to convince them to open up the checkbook.
Mmmm sexy blade servers, you know you want them.
Thankfully, I have the easy end of the task. The account execs are the ones that have to convince them to open up the checkbook.
Mmmm sexy blade servers, you know you want them.
Smasharoo wrote:
Today someone told me they wanted me to help with FDA compliance and then winked at me
While you should be commended for your attempt at using non gender specific terminology, did you honestly think I would forget you work with only women?
I want a name, and I'll stopping by your office for lunch some day next week. No, I'm not telling you which day.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Nothing like delivering 95% full bags of cash, am I right?
My dad had a friend when I was a kid who worked for Kevin White who was the Mayor For Life of Boston when I was growing up. When I asked my dad what he did, my father told me he was a "bagman", but without pretense or a wink or anything. It was like he was a dentist. Every adult I knew was pretty much that non interested in the fact that the guys profession was taking and delivering bribes to maintain plausible deniability for the Mayor. When I mentioned him recently, my Father referred to him as having been a "consultant". Oh, the lost innocence.
I imagine my role in the FDA thing will be demonstrating why the fact that this new medical device isn't meeting the testing criteria is the physician's fault and not the machine's through some sort of half baked meta analysis of very likely cherry picked data.
I can only hope that I'm lucky enough to cynically profit from the health care system in the US. If you can't reform em, at least rob em a lil.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
While you should be commended for your attempt at using non gender specific terminology, did you honestly think I would forget you work with only women?
If you saw any of the not near bursting pregnant women I work with, you very likely would forget.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
I contribute to the design and building of machines that are destroying the future of agriculture on Earth. :D
Edited, May 14th 2009 6:06pm by AshOnMyTomatoes
Edited, May 14th 2009 6:06pm by AshOnMyTomatoes
Smasharoo wrote:
[ If you can't reform em, at least rob em a lil.
Exactly. But the Health (
) Care System in NZ in my case. And only 2 days a week these days."If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
I'm a policy officer for the association of local government in England & Wales. My job is to analyse EU legislation that is in the process of being drafted, see how it could affect local government, tell them about it, see what they say, and then try to lobby the EU so that the concerns of local government are taken into account when the legislation is produced. My areas of focus are transport, health, migration and asylum, and equalities, so it's quite interesting. It's still all quite relatively new, though.
Quote:
I'm a policy officer for the association of local government in England & Wales. My job is to analyse EU legislation that is in the process of being drafted, see how it could affect local government, tell them about it, see what they say, and then try to lobby the EU so that the concerns of local government are taken into account when the legislation is produced. My areas of focus are transport, health, migration and asylum, and equalities, so it's quite interesting. It's still all quite relatively new, though.
Well, we know who to blame when Wales goes to **** ...
I do research and development in a laboratory for a printing ink manufacturer.
Basically, half of the job is mixing together pigments to match a precise color, and half is testing (or improving) the material properties of the ink for its intended application.
Edited, May 14th 2009 7:08pm by trickybeck
baelnic wrote:
Quote:
I'm a policy officer for the association of local government in England & Wales. My job is to analyse EU legislation that is in the process of being drafted, see how it could affect local government, tell them about it, see what they say, and then try to lobby the EU so that the concerns of local government are taken into account when the legislation is produced. My areas of focus are transport, health, migration and asylum, and equalities, so it's quite interesting. It's still all quite relatively new, though.
Well, we know who to blame when Wales goes to sh*t ...
We're working hard at it
To expound on my earlier post:
I help design robotic machines that sort seeds, take genetic samples from seeds, and otherwise manipulate seeds so that a seed which has had a genetic sample taken from it can be planted in a specific recorded location and it's genetic material matched to it later. This helps genetic engineers quickly find plants that have grown with traits they want to see, leading to a quicker crossbreeding of new desirable traits.
In other words: I'm automating your destruction.
Edited, May 14th 2009 7:19pm by AshOnMyTomatoes
I help design robotic machines that sort seeds, take genetic samples from seeds, and otherwise manipulate seeds so that a seed which has had a genetic sample taken from it can be planted in a specific recorded location and it's genetic material matched to it later. This helps genetic engineers quickly find plants that have grown with traits they want to see, leading to a quicker crossbreeding of new desirable traits.
In other words: I'm automating your destruction.
Edited, May 14th 2009 7:19pm by AshOnMyTomatoes
At the moment I'm an IT monkey for a government IT shop, and a Forum Admin of doom.
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
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I'm, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
I too am an IT monkey, though for a non-government gig. At least for the moment.
In my spare time I shear sheep and freelance photog, till the restraining orders are put in place.
In my spare time I shear sheep and freelance photog, till the restraining orders are put in place.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Kaolian, if you get marketing calls from any of the major IT hardware vendors except IBM, then chances are it's coming from my office. (HP, Dell, Sun, Hitachi, Nortel, Mitel, Cisco, and a bazillion little software guys. All under one roof, all out to get IBM.)
Edited, May 14th 2009 11:42pm by catwho
Edited, May 14th 2009 11:42pm by catwho
trickybeck wrote:
I do research and development in a laboratory for a printing ink manufacturer.
Basically, half of the job is mixing together pigments to match a precise color, and half is testing (or improving) the material properties of the ink for its intended application.
That actually sounds kind of fun.
It's probably much less exciting in real life than in my head though.
I'm the overnight manager at a luxury hotel in downtown Boston.
I'm payed to check people in, check people out, listen to people *****, baby sit drunken adults, & to try and keep the hookers out.
I'm payed to check people in, check people out, listen to people *****, baby sit drunken adults, & to try and keep the hookers out.
"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin
I'm not living, I'm decaying.
I perform maintenance, repair, and rework the EA-6B Prowler's engine systems, fuel systems, and auxiliary systems with just a dash of airframe and hydraulic work. I don't do avionics, so don't ask me what kind of the crazy **** the electronic warfare plane can do, as I haven't the slightest, and even if I did, most of it's classified anyway.
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