Speaking of kids...Follow

I thought I'd share a conversation I had with Xavier the other day about sex and body changes during puberty and of course, more sex questions. Because of my status as a dirty breeder, these questions have been popping up like mad the past few months. Zavi has already had the "Talk", in detail on what sex is, brought on by his insationable curiosity about my bulging stomach.(He's debating on adoption right now because he thinks its really gross) Yesterday we entered the realm of puberty along with other questions. I'm finding the more you're asked, the more blase you get about it. At the same time it's pissing me off I'm the one constantly fielding the questions while the Mr hears about them later and laughs his *** off. So the other days convo went like this:

We're throwing on our swimsuits to go to the community pool when Xavier says:
Mom, you know how you and dad have hair in your front? (meaning da pubes)
Yeah?
Do you have hair in the back too?
Nope.
Oh. Will I get hair in the front like you and dad?
When you start going through puberty and your body starts changing from a boy to a man, yes, you'll get hair too. Everyone does.
Oh.... Mom?
Yeah?
You know these two circles under my *****?
You mean your balls?
They look like little balls.
Yes, hon, those are called your balls.
Do you have balls?
Nope. Only boys and men do. Women have other parts.
oh. So do my balls make the hair? (I'm trying soo hard not to laugh at this point)
Nope, but you'll get hair in that area too. Your balls are the part that create and hold the sperm.
Oh... that's what comes from men to make babies right?
Right.
So when you have sex the sperm comes from there?
Originally yes.
So once I'm making sperm to make babies, how many babies can I make?
Well for men, they can make as many babies as they want. There is no limit.
And what about women?
Women can only make babies about once a month
Why?
Because once a month a woman's body allows one of their eggs to release. So only once a month can a woman make a baby if they wanted.
So when you and dad had sex to make Soren, your egg was released?
Yes.
Mom.... did you KNOW you had let an egg go????
uhhhh.... nope.
Oh! So THAT'S why you keep calling Soren your surprise baby!
......


I'm scared to death of the questions he's going to ask me when he's older, if he's already asking these now at 7

Edited, May 14th 2009 2:35pm by DSD

I just about died.

Kid's sharp!

[quote=Prince BoondockSaint]

9.2/10

I like how you used the technical term for ******************

Hey, I call them balls, and it never even occurred to me to call them ********** I was just going with the flow

Madam, you are corrupting you child. I do not wish to insult your parenting, but this is really going too far. If you wish your child to be safe from the fiery clutches of Satan then you must act swifty. You must push your child not to wanton debauchery but instead to the warm, welcoming lap and benignant bosom of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Act now and get a free "What would Jesus do?" keyring.

Edited, May 14th 2009 6:43pm by Kavekk

Thank you for that DSD. I love children for the questions

I have hair in the back.

Hannah just turned four and she's getting creepier by the second.

Hannah: Mom, what's cheese made out of?
Me: Milk, usually from cows, but goat cheese is made of goat's milk.
Hannah: Oh, and when you have a baby and the baby drinks your milk you can make it into cheese for babies and the babies can eat umm...ummm...human cheese, right?
Me: Well, babies don't eat cheese, and while you can probably make cheese from human milk, I'm unaware of anyone doing so.
Hannah: Why?
Me: I'm not sure really, but when you have a baby, they just want the milk and you don't really have extra to be making into cheese.
Hannah: Do boys have milk?
Me: Nope, only women make milk, with their breasts.
Hannah: and boys don't have breasts.
Me: Nope, just women.
Hannah: And women are Mommies.
Me: If they have children they're Mommies.
Hannah: and what if they don't have children?
Me: Then they're women, but not Mommies.
Hannah: So after they have children, women are Mommies.
Me: Well, they're still women, they're just women AND Mommies.
Hannah: What about Daddies?
Me: What about them? Boys become men, and if they have children, they're also called Daddies.
Hannah: But boys can't be Mommies.
Me: No, Mommies are women.
Hannah: and women can't be Daddies.
Me: No.
Hannah: because women have uteruseses and vaginas and men have penises but we both have urethras and bladders and bowels.
Me: Yes, you are absolutely correct.
*she pats me on the leg and smiles*
Hannah: This is your femur.
Me: Yes baby, I know.

Nexa

"...Christ, Hannah, leave Mommy alone with her gin already."

I don't know how I'll handle the "sex" thing when the little miss grows up. My mother was fairly vague..."Always put a raincoat on the little soldier, that's all you need to know". Seemed to get the point across for the most part, health education in school took care of the rest.

I'm fairly open-minded, so I'm sure it won't be hard for me to have the conversation. The only thing, like DSD mentioned, is trying to avoid busting a blood vessel laughing with some of the verbage and context usage in said discussions. Obviously, Mommy will take care of the puberty part. Then again, I'm not sure she'll even want to talk to her father about that stuff, and she'll probably go to her mother anyways.

Now, if #2 is a boy sometime down the road...that'll be a different story when the time comes.

Gotta remember to get to that lunch-hour vasectomy shop!

Well, it takes restraint on my part, but I suppose I'm ok with abstinence only education for 6 year olds.

:D

Nexa

I can't wait to have kids. I will DEFINITELY be doing all of the sex talk stuff.

It's probably less weird if you know who I am, and also know that Guenny allows me make sex at her on a regular basis, and that one day we plan to do it for procreative purposes.

Yep, that makes it a lot less weird.

I have a feeling that it's probably maybe that all my postings are possibly kind of convoluted and maybe understood hardly at all by nobody but you.