Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Aripyanfar wrote:
It was written as part of the debate in the OOT about whether the OOT and Asylum ought to be merged, and/or one or both more heavily moderated. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, by the time I wrote it Kaolian had gone on holiday, and it didn't end up in the Asylum where it was intended to land.
I don't understand this. You wanted the Asylum and the OOT to remain separate, and to further that end, you posted something completely Asylum worthy in a thread that was not Asylum worth in an effort to get the entire thing moved?
Yes. Like this:
Sandbox Toddler: "Big meanie-head older brother pushed me over and hurt meeee!"
Mom: Kills older brother.
Other Older Brothers in Sandbox, Alarmed: "Hey, that's not fair! He was just playing like normal and didn't see Babby behind him! Killing our brother... that's a real downer Mom. We're scared. You scared us."
Mom: "Well, he was definitely playing too rough, if Babby got hurt. You all have to play nice in the Sandbox, nice enough that Babbies don't get knocked down."
Other Older Brothers: "But...but what if we don't see the babbies, or get carried away again having fun? It's going to be really boooooooring and awful here if we have to be that careful. Are you really going to kill us too?"
Mom: "You know you have The Treehouse to do that sort of thing in"
Older Brothers: "But...but no-body's there any more, or it's just the teenagers, hanging out and smoking weed. That's boooooooooring too! We wanna stay here in the Sandbox! And play like normal, good fun stuff we do like now. We don't wanna hafta watch the babbies all the time!"
Mom: "Well, I'm going to have to watch you all closer and make sure that nobody is doing anything that could possibly look like knocking babby over."
Older Brothers: "Aww, this is gonna suck. The Sandbox will be no fun this way, and we don't want to get exiled to the Treehouse for always. Mom, can we cut a deal? Can we stay in the Sandbox, and if we look like we're going to hurt babby, can you boot us over to the Treehouse for Time-Out? That way we'll get to mostly keep the Sandbox, but we'll do some Tree time too. And then maybe we'll get used to the Treehouse a bit, and the teenagers will get to know us, and maybe it won't be so bad in the end. And we'll learn what's Treehouse Rules without getting Killed in the Sandbox, whenever you Time-Out us in the Tree House for stuff we do in the Sandbox."
Mom:................"OK, it's a deal."
Older Brother 1: Guys, guys, do you think Mom will really Time-Out us if we accidentally knock Babby over? What if she just Kills us out of habit?"
Older Brother 2: "I dunno. Mom seems absentminded sometimes. Maybe we'd better test it out."
Older Brother 3: "Not me! You can test it if you like."
Older Brother 1: "Let's draw straws."
*Straws drawn*
Older Brother 3: "FUCK!"
*Older Brother 3, whistling, wanders around, kicking sand.*
*Older Brother 3, whistling, wanders close to the toddlers around the biggest sandcastle*
*Older Brother 3, whistling, trips Babby 4*
*Babby 4 faceplants into the sandcastle painfully, lifts head and screams*
Older Brothers 1,2 and 4: "AWESOME! High Five!"
*Babby 4 screams*
*Older Brothers turn to the Back Door, eyes expectantly watching for Mom to descend upon them like the Wrath of God and boot them to the Treehouse.*
*Babby 4 screams*
Older Brother 1 out of side of mouth: "Mom's not coming."
*Babby 4 still screaming, but it's starting to get muffled by the sand in the castles slipping and piling on his head.*
Older Brother 2: "Oh man, the wait is killing me. It's gonna be worse when she finally notices, she's gonna kill you 3."
*Babby 4's muffled screaming still comes faintly from under the pile of sand. Pretty new shells and crenelations are added on top*
Older Brother 3, lower lip quivering: "I'm not skerred, This'll still work"
*Babby 4 cannot be heard under the mighty castle atop his head. Silence descends, but the Older Brothers hear his screams ringing in their heads*
Mom sashays out of the house: "I've been thinking about the problems of playing nice, all together, when you're all so different sized from each other. I've pulled out the old rule book and updated it, adjusting for family harmony. As an example, I think we should not allow tripping under any circumstances, not even in the Treehouse. What do you guys think?"
*Older Brother 3 breaks and bolts to the sandpiles and excavates Babby 4. Babby 4 screams rise alarmingly into the sky: "Mom! Mom! I tripped over Babby 4, but I'm not gonna do it again, and you were supposed to notice, but you didn't come till now, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry I hurt him and made the Sandbox all unsafe!"
Mom: "Ugh, I expected better of you 3. And poor Babby 4 has been under there all that time. Really, Time-Out is out of the question in this case."
*Mom knocks Older Brother 3 over the head with Mom's steel shovel*
*Older Brother 3 faceplants into the hole left by Babby 4, and is covered with sand by Mom*
*Mom nails the updated rulebook to the Treehouse Door*
*Mom nails the updated rulebook to the Sandbox corner closest to the Back Door*
Teenagers: "What, no tripping? That's totally LAME, dude."
*Older Brother 3 groans, staggers out from under the depths of the Sandpit, scoops Babby 4 up in his arm, trudges to the Tree, and climbs the ladder."
*Older Brother 3 sets Babby 4 down in the center of the Treehouse, where Babby wobbles a bit, looks anxious, and starts sucking on his coat hem.*
*Older Brother sweeps Babby 4's legs out from under him, Babby screams painfully*
Teen 1: Oh man, that's so not cool.
Teen 2: Yawn. That's so totally passe. We got over that years ago. And when we did it, we did it better.
Teen 3: You're sick.
Older Brother 3: "But you still want to be allowed to trip, yourselves, right?
Teens: "Oh yeah. We do it properly."
