Polyamoury ....... (was forum=28)Follow

my experience in the modeling arena, yielded many gorgeous women with extremely low self esteems. My guess was that they put so much work and effort into their looks that it became the only thing they were proud of.

One acquaintance, was a high school drop out and outside of modeling had little else going for her, would freak out if she was not the center of attention when she was out at a club with her "girls" (the group would often randomly change because she really had no idea how to be a friend.)

I also noticed that large percentage of them were sexually abused as children.

Guys, you've got a fUcked up idea of attractive.

Look Fatal, being the size of three women doesn't make you or your boyfriend polyamorous.

In the OP you present the scenario as if you have his best interests at heart, and if you really believe that you're delusional. What'd be best for him is if you just left, because no one needs to deal with someone so insecure. You can't trust him, because you don't value yourself, so you're going to preempt what you see as his eventual and inevitable dissatisfaction by forcing him to have sex with someone else.

Yeah, leave the poor guy alone.

Forum=4 works for this.

I completely agree with you there - lying is the thing that gets to me, I really hate it , and it always makes me wonder why people feel the need to lie, rather than be honest and work through problems.




Thats a very good point, I'm definately not thinking one night stands . I'm thinking more along the lines of bringing another female into the relationship, not just for him, but also for me (thats why I said the freedom would extend to me also, I'm Bi, and would like to include that into the relationship.) What I DON'T want is casual threesomes - I want something regular, safe, and with emotional attachment. Not just the sex, but for snuggling up watching movies and cracking a bottle of wine open with too :) I want the focus of the relationship to remain us, as a couple, but I do wan't the inclusion of someone else to be meaningful, not just empty .

As I've said, the boyfriend and I have talked about it as a possibility a little later in the relationship (we currently don't live together, this is something we've discussed doing if and when he moves in and we're settled into our own dynamic) .We both agree that, on paper, it sounds like it could work well for us , like I said, we just lack anyone with experience to direct questions too about it .

And the penny drops.

I'm going to go on record right now saying it'll never work. Sorry.

You're his first sexual experience and real relationship? And you're older than him? Let me tell you what'll happen: he'll agree to whatever because he wants to sound open-minded and supportive of your ideas and your bisexuality. Then you guys will do it. Then he'll start worrying that you like her more than him. Then he'll get jealous and feel possessive. Then the whole thing will go to hell.

Let me know when it happens so I can say I toldjaso.

Edited, May 13th 2009 11:03am by Jophiel

This line here stands out to me for some reason. It seems to me that, by your own words, he's ok with the way things are now. Could it be that instead of you wanting him to have more experience you are looking to have a way to broaden your base a bit more without feeling guilty?

Don't get me wrong I'm sure you want to hold onto this person; but your grasping at ways to keep them and be able to do the other seems relatively clear to me. Being that you stated that your partner is fine the way things are now it would stand to reason that the seed of promiscuity lies with you and your desire to go outside the relationship.

I can assure you that your acceptance of them being with someone else with your prior knowledge will not be reciprocated and I imagine if you push this issue it will end with you losing this person. OH, you can and probably will talk them into it, as you say, you're all the life experience they know. They'll eventually agree to it, they'll probably even agree to "go first". At which time it will be your turn and being you have a more open mind, feeling substantially justified to do the same and will;

It will not be fine.

You can not take someone who knows only one person in a physical way and task them accepting something like this, it just won't turn out the way you think/hope it will. You'll lose them.

But maybe I'm just wrong, all I have to build on is your brief description. It just seems to me that if the base reason for this topic to come up was for him to build his experience base alone it would be structured around him building his base...throwing your hat into the ring as well after they've expressed their happiness with things as they are already seems like a backdoor approach to guilt free cheating on your part.


Edited, May 13th 2009 1:36pm by Bauran

There's no getting it wrong: she wants to fuck other people and figures the best way to have her cake & eat it too is to make it sound like she's really doing it for him.

Sure, if he's interested. It's just kind of ****** to pretend it's all for him when it's not.

I'm not interested in the steps of her approval process, just as long as it's known that he can have 3 somes. Everything else is shadows and dust.

I'M A MAN, LADY!

I'm just holding out for pictures.

I will hunt you down.