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#1 Apr 17 2009 at 6:45 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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haha, inspired by this cnn article.

Hello, I am a mom and I despise playing I Spy with the burning hatred of a thousand nuclear wars. I also occasionally yell at my kid even though I swore I'd never do that for the first 26 years of my life.

On the upside, I've managed not to kill her or let her die, so I must must be doing something right.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#2 Apr 17 2009 at 6:49 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Oh and dads are equally welcome to admit their faults as well, haha.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#3 Apr 17 2009 at 6:55 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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I have no idea how anyone does it.

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In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#4 Apr 17 2009 at 7:02 AM Rating: Good
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Hello. I am a Mother.

When my daughter was newborn, I had my sister-in-law watch her for a couple hours so I could get some sleep.

Link to cute video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e69NN-gtzrY
#5 Apr 17 2009 at 7:02 AM Rating: Good
Samira wrote:
I have no idea how anyone does it.


Alcohol.
#6 Apr 17 2009 at 7:07 AM Rating: Good
Gurue
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Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Samira wrote:
I have no idea how anyone does it.


Alcohol.


Yep.

I yell at my son more than I'd like to. I have no patience, and children will always test what little patience you have.
#7 Apr 17 2009 at 7:08 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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Looking back on my lifetime achievment of raising two children to adulthood, it's fairly obvious where we flubbed up. But, sorta as Nexa mentioned they are both alive (there were some touch and go moments), have all their limbs, function pretty well within our societal bounds and have spent very little time incarcerated. I fear one, or both, may even successfully reproduce.














Edited, Apr 17th 2009 5:13pm by Elinda
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#8 Apr 17 2009 at 7:08 AM Rating: Excellent
<-- Dad.

I guide the way that I raise my children with a single, underlying principle. I figure that, in the long run, therapy will be cheaper than tuition. So I do my best to ***** my kids up in the head just enough that they won't pursue higher education, but that they won't go on murderous rampages either.


I kid.

...


Sort of.

In all seriousness, I just treat my kids like regular people..regular people that mooch off of me and eat all my food and drive up my utility bills, but regular people nonetheless.

I don't try to prevent them from hurting themselves (outside of the fatal or crippling of course). The way I see it, it's not a parent's job to stop their children from making mistakes. It's our job to pick them up and encourage them after they make them.
#9 Apr 17 2009 at 7:10 AM Rating: Good
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How do you have a custom title?
#10 Apr 17 2009 at 7:11 AM Rating: Good
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In our continuing series on shameful motherhood moments and how the Asylum contributes to them, we have this latest incident.

Now that the weather is getting warmer (well, at least in theory, sure doesn't feel that way) I've been opening the doors and windows when it gets around 70 to let the house air out. And, of course, as it gets warmer we're also letting Tristan run around outside in the yard.

Last Saturday after playing outside with his dad for a while, Tristan and Mr. Ambrya come inside through the screen door on the front of the house, and in the process Tristan (for no apparent reason) decides to lick the window on the screen door in front of both of us.

It was then that I looked at Mr. Ambrya and made the inevitable observation which, despite its inevitability, will no doubt condemn me to mommy hell for all time.

Edited, Apr 17th 2009 8:16am by Ambrya
#11 Apr 17 2009 at 7:17 AM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
How do you have a custom title?
Quote:
9097 posts
Little late for that now.

NOMOARTITLS!!
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#12 Apr 17 2009 at 7:17 AM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
How do you have a custom title?
Quote:
9097 posts
Little late for that now.

NOMOARTITLS!!
Yeah, but how did that Stugein guy get one? He's got under 3k posts...

Edited, Apr 17th 2009 10:18am by AshOnMyTomatoes
#13 Apr 17 2009 at 7:18 AM Rating: Good
@#%^
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Children should be seen cowering in the corner and not heard.
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But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"

#14 Apr 17 2009 at 7:18 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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12,065 posts
A list of threats I have made to my daughter to date (quotations being best as I can remember):

"If you don't get your shoes on, I will leave you here all day by yourself while I go to work"
"If you don't stop whining, I'm never feeding you again."
"Go to sleep or I'm turning all the lights off and locking your door."
"If you don't stop bothering me while I'm driving, I'm going to pull over and leave you in a snow bank."
"Stop that or I'm never playing with you again."


There are others, but those are the fun ones I can pull off the top of my head. She doesn't seem too traumatized, but I guess time will tell.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#15 Apr 17 2009 at 7:20 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
How do you have a custom title?
He was another admin flunk-out, I believe.

I always assumed that, at least with a boy, I'd have more patience for his playthings and hobbies. I haven't tested this against raising a girl and having to hear about whatever harlot-training doll is currently being marketed but I can say that I don't give two shits about Transformers or Bakugan either. I have to struggle to keep my cringing internal when he comes over to show me how Toy A can do this and that and if you turn it this way, it looks like this and...
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#16 Apr 17 2009 at 7:22 AM Rating: Good
Gurue
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Nexa wrote:
A list of threats I have made to my daughter to date (quotations being best as I can remember):

"If you don't get your shoes on, I will leave you here all day by yourself while I go to work"
"If you don't stop whining, I'm never feeding you again."
"Go to sleep or I'm turning all the lights off and locking your door."
"If you don't stop bothering me while I'm driving, I'm going to pull over and leave you in a snow bank."
"Stop that or I'm never playing with you again."


There are others, but those are the fun ones I can pull off the top of my head. She doesn't seem too traumatized, but I guess time will tell.

Nexa


I've made similar threats. You're not alone there. But Noah isn't too afraid of being left alone anymore, so I'll have to come up with something worse.
#17 Apr 17 2009 at 7:22 AM Rating: Excellent
Prodigal Son
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Hello, I am a father and I occasionally give my 14 month old son a cookie for breakfast. Other than that, my eugenics project is right on schedule and our Aryan superbaby is doing great.
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#18 Apr 17 2009 at 7:23 AM Rating: Good
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My biggest threat to my daughter is:

"If you don't stop fussing, I will give you something to fuss about."

Then I put her in her crib. And then she falls asleep. She rarely fusses after I put her to bed.
#19 Apr 17 2009 at 7:26 AM Rating: Good
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Nadenu wrote:

I've made similar threats. You're not alone there. But Noah isn't too afraid of being left alone anymore, so I'll have to come up with something worse.


I dread the day this happens, because right now my most powerful "straighten up and fly right or ELSE" tool is the threat of putting him in another room for time-out with the door closed (I had to do that because he wasn't taking time-out in the same room as me seriously, often deciding he was perfectly happy where he was even when time-out was over. Certainly it was failing as a deterrent.)
#20 Apr 17 2009 at 7:32 AM Rating: Good
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I threaten my kids with extra chores as punishment. They hate doing extra chores, but I've also found that they're starting to get really OCD about certain things.
#21 Apr 17 2009 at 7:33 AM Rating: Excellent
AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Elinda wrote:
AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
How do you have a custom title?
Quote:
9097 posts
Little late for that now.

NOMOARTITLS!!
Yeah, but how did that Stugein guy get one? He's got under 3k posts...


I was a mod on the OGaming boards before the merger. They gave us volunteer staffers that title when they fused the board populations together. There's only a couple of us running 'round nowadays. *cue NBC "The More You Know" music*
#22 Apr 17 2009 at 8:06 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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12,065 posts
Nadenu wrote:

I've made similar threats. You're not alone there. But Noah isn't too afraid of being left alone anymore, so I'll have to come up with something worse.


She's getting pretty good with her threats too. Yesterday it was, "Mommy! YOU ARE MAKING ME SAD and I am NOT going to be your BEST FRIEND ANYMORE!"

The times I actually feel the worst is when she says **** like that in all seriousness and is clearly upset and I laugh at her because it's hilarious. Since I got an electronic toll pass, I've started putting all my spare change into her therapy jar.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#23 Apr 17 2009 at 8:21 AM Rating: Excellent
Soulless Internet Tiger
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35,474 posts
I am a father and I play double standards. I yell at my son a lot more than my daughter and for things I would not yell at her for. Part of it is her age and not understanding what she's being disciplined for, but most of it's because she's daddy's little girl. I always knew if I had a boy and girl, I'd end up like that. Doesn't make it any better.
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#24 Apr 17 2009 at 8:23 AM Rating: Excellent
I'm childfree but I respect successful mothers for doing what I know that I in a hundred thousand years could never, ever, ever do.

Smiley: thumbsup
#25 Apr 17 2009 at 8:28 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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29,360 posts
Nexa wrote:
Nadenu wrote:

I've made similar threats. You're not alone there. But Noah isn't too afraid of being left alone anymore, so I'll have to come up with something worse.


She's getting pretty good with her threats too. Yesterday it was, "Mommy! YOU ARE MAKING ME SAD and I am NOT going to be your BEST FRIEND ANYMORE!"

The times I actually feel the worst is when she says sh*t like that in all seriousness and is clearly upset and I laugh at her because it's hilarious. Since I got an electronic toll pass, I've started putting all my spare change into her therapy jar.

Nexa


It took years for me to realize that the slightly strained look on my parents' faces at times meant they were expending superhuman effort to refrain from laughing out loud at us.

At some point they gave up, or realized we were old enough to tolerate their thinking we were unintentionally funny.

At about the same time we realized that if we could make them laugh we might not get what we wanted but we could certainly avoid punishment for anything short of a felony.
____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#26 Apr 17 2009 at 8:35 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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12,065 posts
Samira wrote:

It took years for me to realize that the slightly strained look on my parents' faces at times meant they were expending superhuman effort to refrain from laughing out loud at us.

At some point they gave up, or realized we were old enough to tolerate their thinking we were unintentionally funny.

At about the same time we realized that if we could make them laugh we might not get what we wanted but we could certainly avoid punishment for anything short of a felony.


What makes it worse is that me laughing at her makes her that much more furious. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!" with her red face and little balled up fists of rage just makes it harder for me to contain myself. *sigh*

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
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