someone give me some cry emotes. I would have posted this on my live journal but there's not enough space with the emo song lyrics and poems I've written. In fact they had to shut it down because it was so full of abathetic bullsh*t.
Literally, I should just be gay, I think it'd be so much easier. It's just a shame I don't like *****. Or ***. Maybe I should be one of those gays like Stephen Fry, you know, the ones who don't bum or suck each other off, just **********. At least if I was going out with him I'd get a good fix of quite interesting trivia every day. I bet he's a good cuddle too. Papa bear!
You know what's worse than actually finding someone you like and being shot down because they don't like you? The same scenario but being shot down because it's a "bad time". Read: someone else just got there first.
**** it, making out with girls in clubs? Fine. No problem. Don't much anymore - I can't be ****** it's boring.
The rare time I meet someone I actually like? I **** it up. Except I don't **** it up, it's just that between me meeting them and me doing anything they start seeing someone else first.
For **** sake it's like goddamn Good luck Chuck.
Tell all your hot friends (if they wanna meet a guy) to come and see me! If I like you then it'll be the next guy who comes along!
Q @#%^ing Q. Someone call the Waaahmbulance, it's an emergancy.
Edited, Jan 17th 2009 7:42am by NoodlesCCCLV
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@#%^ you cupid!Follow
Out of love for Stephen Fry, I won't rate you down.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
I rated him down for horrible filter breaking.
You know I've never read a post on anything other than the FFXI skin. Huh. It does look bad.
Quote:
I should just be gay,
You sure you're not already?
Sack up FFS!
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
paulsol wrote:
Quote:
I should just be gay,
You sure you're not already?
You know we had a bet in our house of out of three of us who'd have sex first this year. Me and steve thought about having gaysex to win the bet.
Couldn't get it up though. And if you bet on a bet and you lose, you lose the bet.
Stop being a fucking *****. Here's the big secret: stop caring if you get laid. If you find a girl sexually attractive tell her "Hey, I find you sexually attractive, but I don't really care if we ever sleep together or not." Then walk away. Bring an egg timer to keep track of how long it takes you to get laid.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Smasharoo wrote:
Here's the big secret: stop caring if you get laid.
Think someone missed the point. ****. Gonna go cry about it, brb.
Where's my Take That Greatest Hits CD...
My girlfriend just ran away to Newcastle to fuck a trained monkey named Pete, and I'm not ******** about it.
I do wish I was gay, though.
I do wish I was gay, though.
zepoodle wrote:
I do wish I was gay, though.
It really is soooooooo much easier than being a breeder.
zepoodle wrote:
My girlfriend just ran away to Newcastle to fuck a trained monkey.
It's true, I saw it on the internet.
Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
redtube webcam page?
NoodlesCCCLV wrote:
redtube webcam page?
Na, it's one of those other sites, that stuff is a violation of most ToS.
Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
Hahaha, Newcastle.
Noodles, just say something. It might raise your chances of getting laid.
Noodles, just say something. It might raise your chances of getting laid.
Explain to them what "peedif" is. 
It's sure to snare them!
It's sure to snare them!Dear people I don't like: 凸(â—´―｀â—)凸
Holy fuck, this guy's a real catch. Lemme hook you up with someone.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
TirithRR wrote:
zepoodle wrote:
My girlfriend just ran away to Newcastle to fuck a trained monkey.
It's true, I saw it on the internet.
I was speaking metaphorically. The guy was incredibly dumb. When I confronted him about it he told me that I was ugly, that I fucked my own ****, and that he would "punch my face off". All this over the phone. It's depressing to think about since it happened very recently, but I console myself with the knowledge that he's a moron.
Anyway, enough crap. Noodles needs to get his hands on some high-quality **** and jack his pains away. Best solution, in my experience. Aside from turning gay.
Jophiel wrote:
Holy fuck, this guy's a real catch. Lemme hook you up with someone.
I'm literally epic! Modest too.
Holy sh*t, how many more ways can I self burn myself? My therapist is gonna have a field day. Too bad the only answer to my problems is "hard luck, you'll find someone.".
Either that or lower my standards, but I'd never see the point in going out with someone just to be going out with someone. They gotta be something special. You know this whole topic I've wanted to actually be serious, but there's no way I'm writing some QQ emo speech that belongs on LiveJournal here. Or anywhere, might as well try and make a joke of it right?
Or not. You know that "I never know when you're serious" from someone last year still gets to me.
It really isn't about just getting laid. It's about wanting more, but it's always the wrong place and/or wrong time.
That said, it is obviously about getting laid for some people, hell one of the girls who lives upstairs is celebrating her "30th man". Sure, you can **** it up with 30 men bu I bet you don't know @#%^ about peedif.
Edit: hang on, fuck. I haven't complained about rate downs yet. Eh I'll do it next post. too much crying in this one already.
Edited, Jan 17th 2009 8:41pm by NoodlesCCCLV
I believe I speak for all women everywhere when I say, "What the fUCk are you whining about, you soggy mess?"
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
"Peedif"?
I don't know fuck about peedif and I haven't slutted it up with 30 men. My life has been a waste
I don't know fuck about peedif and I haven't slutted it up with 30 men. My life has been a waste
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
don't you need adobe acrobat reader to read one of those anyways?
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Jophiel wrote:
"Peedif"?
I don't know fuck about peedif and I haven't slutted it up with 30 men. My life has been a waste
I don't know fuck about peedif and I haven't slutted it up with 30 men. My life has been a waste
You've played at least one Zork game, so your life wasn't a total waste. I liked Return to Zork best, I think. It had the kind of arcane difficulty (the swamp, dear god the swamp) that the sequels really lacked and I can barely remember the original text based ones. I did play RtZ when I was about ten, though, so it probably wasn't actually that hard to navigate that swamp. Probably. I mean, I say that, but I'm not really convinced.
I really liked the "propoganda on parade" thing from Grand Inquisitor, though. That cracks me up every time. Every time I see clips from Triump of the Will I just mentally juxtapose the two and it's instant hilarity.
I should play through all zork games in order someday.
Oh, anyway, it's not too late to start sluttin', Jophiel. Call me.
Quote:
Sure, you can **** it up with 30 men bu I bet you don't know @#%^ about peedif.
Weaponskill Damage = (( D + fSTR + WSC) * fTP) * PDIF
Noodles just wants a woman who understands the math behind FFXI weaponskill formulas, is that too much to ask?
kylen wrote:
Quote:
Sure, you can **** it up with 30 men bu I bet you don't know @#%^ about peedif.
Weaponskill Damage = (( D + fSTR + WSC) * fTP) * PDIF
Noodles just wants a woman who understands the math behind FFXI weaponskill formulas, is that too much to ask?
I know seriously! Last girl I was seeing for a while knew I played FFXI, was like "are you playing with your cat this evening? haha!" (Am a Mithra)
Samira wrote:
I believe I speak for all women everywhere when I say, "What the fUCk are you whining about, you soggy mess?"
1) Very few women I actually like.
2) Every single time with all of them it's obviously been pretty mutual.
3) Every single time they've been single at first.
4) Every single time in the short period of meeting them and doing something about it, someone else gets in there first.
And usually it's like sure, it's a shame but what can you do? This time is no different in circumstance but I'm getting proper worked up because enough is enough. Someone throw me a fucking life line because I'm literally going crazy about this. Someone upstairs don't want me to be happy.
Maybe I like to do things too casually, but that's just how I am. But hell if it's shooting myself in the foot each time then maybe I should try faster and be more persistant.
I mean fuck it works pretty well to just get a girl drunk and be really persistant. Much to my absolute annoyance. Seriously.
@#%^.
Edited, Jan 18th 2009 7:26am by NoodlesCCCLV
We gotta find you a kandi girl who also knows what pDIF and fSTR are. 
Dear people I don't like: 凸(â—´―｀â—)凸
No one's told you yet that you have a stupid name, so I'll go ahead and do it.
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