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Anyone ever disown a parent?Follow
Well, as I alluded to briefly in the OOT, better than expected. She's been well mannered and understanding and we've gotten along like normal human beings. I may even extend an invite for her to visit again this summer. I still have my history and reservations about her, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected.
Sorry your mom is a burden to you. Mine is a true Joy. Were going out to lunch later.
Where there is life there can still be hope for improvement.
Learn to say start using this phrase. "When you.... I feel...>" and fill in the blanks for the occasion. And as a final part of "pop psychology" she can't make you feel guilty, only you can make yourself feel guilty.
My mom has some anger issues, but I'm still often over at my parents' place, joining in the family toke.
I like my family. I have no real complaints.
I like my family. I have no real complaints.
10k before the site's inevitable death or bust
The World Is Not A Cold Dead Place.
The World Is Not A Cold Dead Place.
Alan Watts wrote:
I am omnipotent insofar as I am the Universe, but I am not an omnipotent in the role of Alan Watts, only cunning
Eske wrote:
I've always read Driftwood as the straight man in varus' double act. It helps if you read all of his posts in the voice of Droopy Dog.
#30Kitprower,
Posted: Jan 04 2009 at 11:41 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) You're an ***, and everyone here will probably agree that you're an ***, never in my life have I ever heard of such a thing, that woman is alone and sick, she's had troubles in her life and what's more, YOU OWE HER YOUR LIFE YOU DUMBASS. How DARE you speak like this, about your mother of all people! How dare you even breathe the same air as the rest of us.
Kitprower wrote:
bubspeed wrote:
Nope. But there is a lot more to this story but it boils down to an old, lonely woman who, in her effort to not be lonely, continues to drive the people closest to her away. It's really rather sad.
My Dad was able to divorce her. He took the easy way out.
My Dad was able to divorce her. He took the easy way out.
You're an ***, and everyone here will probably agree that you're an ***, never in my life have I ever heard of such a thing, that woman is alone and sick, she's had troubles in her life and what's more, YOU OWE HER YOUR LIFE YOU DUMBASS. How DARE you speak like this, about your mother of all people! How dare you even breathe the same air as the rest of us.
I...Just....
Jesus! I can't even come up with the proper words to explain how badly I wish i could kick your nuts in right now. YOU. YOU ARE THE REASON I'M PRO CHOICE DAMMIT.
People don't choose their parents. Children spend nearly the first two decades of their life believing that their parents are the epitome of humankind. Hell, even I thought my mom was the bee's knees. Children turn into adults, along with that they gain the ability to objectively rationalize the behavior of other people, and make judgments based thereof.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice patterns of physical and emotional abuse. The OP knows who is mother is and why she acts the way she does. No where in his post is he saying that he dislikes his mother for any other reason aside from the way she acts. His mother is fully responsible for her own behavior, and it is not his fault that she makes knowing her an unbearable experience.
The belief that children must dote on their parents no matter what is an antiquated practice. Personal accountability isn't thrown to the wind anymore, and if a parent's irresponsible behavior is detrimental to a child in way, be it emotional, physical, mental or financial, then it should be perfectly acceptable for the child to limit contact with that parent.
dl;dr? OP's mom needs to snap out of her self-loathing and start treating people better. It doesn't matter what's got her pissed off at life, but she doesn't need to be dragging people down with her. If she wants help, there's better ways to do it than to make your family feel like ****.
I'm not gonna read this whole thread, but I'll add the gist of my story to answer the title's question.
There was a time in my life where I was "estranged" from my mother. She had drug problems, etc, leading up to and after my parents' divorce. She'd disappear, I wanted nothing to do with her for a while, especially after she threatened to kill the two of us. Our terms today are more of a comradeship, sort of; she's a bit of a people user and still likes to brag about how she is and has been the best mother in the world.
After the divorce, my father was pretty strict. He had two teenage daughters he had custody of, and soon met a 22 year old with 2 very young sons of her own. My stepmother and sister and I never got along, in fact were in battle over the tiniest domestic matters on a daily basis, and my sister still has never forgiven my father for allowing our lives to be controlled by this ***** and for cracking down on her because she was a **** up. (she never did graduate high school.) She moved out at about 15/16, and attached to my mother, who enables her more than all of Anna's 20k posts combined could ever.
My father and sister NEVER talk. Haven't for probably 3 years or so. The irony is the main reason is that they are both so alike a stubborn, neither can forgive and forget and make the first move. My parents haven't talked since their divorce 11 years ago. Family "disown"ment is a serious matter. Your case doesn't seem so extreme. Maybe a little silent treatment until you get past the general aggravation of the situation will help, and then I'm sure all will be on more connected levels.
There was a time in my life where I was "estranged" from my mother. She had drug problems, etc, leading up to and after my parents' divorce. She'd disappear, I wanted nothing to do with her for a while, especially after she threatened to kill the two of us. Our terms today are more of a comradeship, sort of; she's a bit of a people user and still likes to brag about how she is and has been the best mother in the world.
After the divorce, my father was pretty strict. He had two teenage daughters he had custody of, and soon met a 22 year old with 2 very young sons of her own. My stepmother and sister and I never got along, in fact were in battle over the tiniest domestic matters on a daily basis, and my sister still has never forgiven my father for allowing our lives to be controlled by this ***** and for cracking down on her because she was a **** up. (she never did graduate high school.) She moved out at about 15/16, and attached to my mother, who enables her more than all of Anna's 20k posts combined could ever.
My father and sister NEVER talk. Haven't for probably 3 years or so. The irony is the main reason is that they are both so alike a stubborn, neither can forgive and forget and make the first move. My parents haven't talked since their divorce 11 years ago. Family "disown"ment is a serious matter. Your case doesn't seem so extreme. Maybe a little silent treatment until you get past the general aggravation of the situation will help, and then I'm sure all will be on more connected levels.
Admiral Tzemesce wrote:
Kitprower wrote:
bubspeed wrote:
Nope. But there is a lot more to this story but it boils down to an old, lonely woman who, in her effort to not be lonely, continues to drive the people closest to her away. It's really rather sad.
My Dad was able to divorce her. He took the easy way out.
My Dad was able to divorce her. He took the easy way out.
You're an ***, and everyone here will probably agree that you're an ***, never in my life have I ever heard of such a thing, that woman is alone and sick, she's had troubles in her life and what's more, YOU OWE HER YOUR LIFE YOU DUMBASS. How DARE you speak like this, about your mother of all people! How dare you even breathe the same air as the rest of us.
I...Just....
Jesus! I can't even come up with the proper words to explain how badly I wish i could kick your nuts in right now. YOU. YOU ARE THE REASON I'M PRO CHOICE DAMMIT.
People don't choose their parents. Children spend nearly the first two decades of their life believing that their parents are the epitome of humankind. Hell, even I thought my mom was the bee's knees. Children turn into adults, along with that they gain the ability to objectively rationalize the behavior of other people, and make judgments based thereof.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice patterns of physical and emotional abuse. The OP knows who is mother is and why she acts the way she does. No where in his post is he saying that he dislikes his mother for any other reason aside from the way she acts. His mother is fully responsible for her own behavior, and it is not his fault that she makes knowing her an unbearable experience.
The belief that children must dote on their parents no matter what is an antiquated practice. Personal accountability isn't thrown to the wind anymore, and if a parent's irresponsible behavior is detrimental to a child in way, be it emotional, physical, mental or financial, then it should be perfectly acceptable for the child to limit contact with that parent.
dl;dr? OP's mom needs to snap out of her self-loathing and start treating people better. It doesn't matter what's got her pissed off at life, but she doesn't need to be dragging people down with her. If she wants help, there's better ways to do it than to make your family feel like sh*t.
Thank you.
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