One of my wife's friends sends us a letter every year around Christmas time summarizing the past year for us. I've reproduced this year's letter below... the names have been changed. I've come to think of this woman as Calamity Jane, for obvious reasons.
Quote:
Annual Christmas Letter
Hello and season's greetings to all. I hope everyone had a wonderful year. I would like to apologize for not calling, writing and getting my thank you cards out from the kids' birthdays. I just let time slip away from me and all my good intentions are lost. I sincerely hope you can forgive me.
It's been an interesting year for us. We have had many blessings along with many trials. The kids are still very dedicated to church, praying and our faith in the Lord. No matter how tough things get, the Lord has always taken care of us. Although I continually fall short of God's expectations, I just keep asking for His forgiveness and strength. Our lifetime here on earth is just a temporary journey and it's the ultimate goal of spending eternity in Heaven that should be our focus. While, its true that life is short, we should spend our time here by living life the way that God intended.
Mary is now 10 years old and in 4th grade. She is almost as tall as I am (although most everyone is! Ha ha!), and she's a real social butterfly, very mature and compassionate. Of course, she is a mother hen to Michael! Mary started on medication for ADD back in March and it has been really helpful. She did exceptional on her FCAT testing (state mandated testing that designates if a child moves to the next grade). On her 10th birthday, she had 12 girls sleepover, go swimming the next day, and some stayed for two days! Boy was I tired! LOL. One of her friends came from Miami (3 hours away) just for the party! How awesome is that?! She still loves animals, especially horses & dogs – so maybe she'll be a vet. I feel bad because I am so highly allergic that just mentioning animals makes me sneeze & wheeze! LOL!
Michael is 6 years old and just started Kindergarten (he missed the cut off date). He absolutely loves school and loves to do homework!! Hallelujah!! When he gets home from school, he does his homework before having a snack or going to the bathroom! He is 1 of the top 4 students out of 3 kindergarten classes! Yes, I'm a proud momma! He is so funny and keeps us laughing all the time. Michael is also very caring, generous, & helpful. He gives his own money to the church offering, helps his teacher & classmates, and always wants to help me clean! However, he has been pushing the issue of having a Mohawk!! But, that will have to wait till he is done with college and living on his own! Ha ha!
As for me, I'm out of work right now – but the kids have 2 ½ weeks off for Christmas, so it's just as well. Fortunately, my parents taught me how to live a frugal life on a tight budget! I am still very active in the school PTO and keep very busy with the kids. On a sad note, Joseph & I are getting divorced. Apparently, this past summer while the kids & I were in NY for a couple of weeks, he met a woman (bartender) and fell in love. So, he ended up leaving us and moved in with his girlfriend. I should have known after 11 years of emotional abuse from him, that things would not change. Sadly, it has been very hard on the kids to have their dad leave and he has been making the divorce process harder & nastier than it should be.
Unfortunately, we have had some other trials this year. In March, Joseph got a motorcycle & 2 weeks later had a serious accident (hospital for 5 days, many broken bones, many stitches, & concussion (which may help explain his “foolish†mentality a little!! Ha ha!). Then in August, we had a horrible storm come through our city. We had 25 inches of rain in 1 day! We ended up being stuck in the house for 4 days because of impassable roads. My parent's home was severely flooded & damaged. People were kayaking down their block for 5 days!! Then in September, a lady I worked & became friends with, was brutally murdered in her home by a random robber. Then, about a month ago, I was doing a fundraiser for the school & had about $6,000 with me. I must have been targeted, and my apartment was broken into. They did it in broad daylight while I was out & the kids were at school. They took a hammer and shattered the glass to my sliding doors (what a mess!). They ransacked my room, stole my jewelry, credit cards, stole a box with important documents & savings bonds and tried to steal my new bicycle. I was very blessed because they missed the box with all the school money in it and the police were able to recover my important documents & bonds. I just had to call the credit card companies, have to get my bike fixed (they smashed it into the ground), and someday work on replacing my jewelry. I couldn't get a new door till the next afternoon, so I stayed up all night on the couch with a butcher knife! Ha ha! But, we are alive & well and that it what matters. Mary still has quite a bit of anxiety whenever we come home, but I'm sure she will get better in time.
Well, I believe that is the major information from us here in #####ville! Please keep in touch. My email is jane@continuousdisasters.com and my phone # is 123-456-7890.
Take care & God Bless,
- - Love, Jane
Hello and season's greetings to all. I hope everyone had a wonderful year. I would like to apologize for not calling, writing and getting my thank you cards out from the kids' birthdays. I just let time slip away from me and all my good intentions are lost. I sincerely hope you can forgive me.
It's been an interesting year for us. We have had many blessings along with many trials. The kids are still very dedicated to church, praying and our faith in the Lord. No matter how tough things get, the Lord has always taken care of us. Although I continually fall short of God's expectations, I just keep asking for His forgiveness and strength. Our lifetime here on earth is just a temporary journey and it's the ultimate goal of spending eternity in Heaven that should be our focus. While, its true that life is short, we should spend our time here by living life the way that God intended.
Mary is now 10 years old and in 4th grade. She is almost as tall as I am (although most everyone is! Ha ha!), and she's a real social butterfly, very mature and compassionate. Of course, she is a mother hen to Michael! Mary started on medication for ADD back in March and it has been really helpful. She did exceptional on her FCAT testing (state mandated testing that designates if a child moves to the next grade). On her 10th birthday, she had 12 girls sleepover, go swimming the next day, and some stayed for two days! Boy was I tired! LOL. One of her friends came from Miami (3 hours away) just for the party! How awesome is that?! She still loves animals, especially horses & dogs – so maybe she'll be a vet. I feel bad because I am so highly allergic that just mentioning animals makes me sneeze & wheeze! LOL!
Michael is 6 years old and just started Kindergarten (he missed the cut off date). He absolutely loves school and loves to do homework!! Hallelujah!! When he gets home from school, he does his homework before having a snack or going to the bathroom! He is 1 of the top 4 students out of 3 kindergarten classes! Yes, I'm a proud momma! He is so funny and keeps us laughing all the time. Michael is also very caring, generous, & helpful. He gives his own money to the church offering, helps his teacher & classmates, and always wants to help me clean! However, he has been pushing the issue of having a Mohawk!! But, that will have to wait till he is done with college and living on his own! Ha ha!
As for me, I'm out of work right now – but the kids have 2 ½ weeks off for Christmas, so it's just as well. Fortunately, my parents taught me how to live a frugal life on a tight budget! I am still very active in the school PTO and keep very busy with the kids. On a sad note, Joseph & I are getting divorced. Apparently, this past summer while the kids & I were in NY for a couple of weeks, he met a woman (bartender) and fell in love. So, he ended up leaving us and moved in with his girlfriend. I should have known after 11 years of emotional abuse from him, that things would not change. Sadly, it has been very hard on the kids to have their dad leave and he has been making the divorce process harder & nastier than it should be.
Unfortunately, we have had some other trials this year. In March, Joseph got a motorcycle & 2 weeks later had a serious accident (hospital for 5 days, many broken bones, many stitches, & concussion (which may help explain his “foolish†mentality a little!! Ha ha!). Then in August, we had a horrible storm come through our city. We had 25 inches of rain in 1 day! We ended up being stuck in the house for 4 days because of impassable roads. My parent's home was severely flooded & damaged. People were kayaking down their block for 5 days!! Then in September, a lady I worked & became friends with, was brutally murdered in her home by a random robber. Then, about a month ago, I was doing a fundraiser for the school & had about $6,000 with me. I must have been targeted, and my apartment was broken into. They did it in broad daylight while I was out & the kids were at school. They took a hammer and shattered the glass to my sliding doors (what a mess!). They ransacked my room, stole my jewelry, credit cards, stole a box with important documents & savings bonds and tried to steal my new bicycle. I was very blessed because they missed the box with all the school money in it and the police were able to recover my important documents & bonds. I just had to call the credit card companies, have to get my bike fixed (they smashed it into the ground), and someday work on replacing my jewelry. I couldn't get a new door till the next afternoon, so I stayed up all night on the couch with a butcher knife! Ha ha! But, we are alive & well and that it what matters. Mary still has quite a bit of anxiety whenever we come home, but I'm sure she will get better in time.
Well, I believe that is the major information from us here in #####ville! Please keep in touch. My email is jane@continuousdisasters.com and my phone # is 123-456-7890.
Take care & God Bless,
- - Love, Jane
To sum up... ADD, unemployment, motor vehicle accident, divorce, robbery and brutal murder. And this is a TYPICAL year for this woman. Past letters have included being defrauded out of her live savings, another divorce, drug and alcohol addiction, being committed to a mental hospital against her will(multiple times), and assorted gynecological afflictions about which she happily shares every detail. Every year she sends us this litany of disasters that would crush the spirit of any sane person. I don't know how she has managed to not blow her brains out. Her letters are so depressing I want to kill myself after reading them. How can she be so optimistic? While on the one hand you have to admire her spirit, on the other you have to believe she is simply deluding herself.
So whenever I get the blues about the things in my life that suck, I always stop and think about poor Calamity Jane and realize that my life is nothing but sunshine and puppy dogs in comparison.
