Some background:
Not too long after we moved into our home, an elderly couple moved into the house two doors down from us. They'd moved here from Mass, had one son in the area. The man had some pretty significant health issues that kept him housebound for the most part. Over the last year or so we've spent some time chatting with them. My husband plows their driveway (no charge), we check in on them during power outages (as recently as last Friday), etc.
Ok, so last weekend, my son is showing me the picture of the guy he took private trumpet lessons from in High School. The picture was online, on the States Sex Offender Registry. Apparently this guy, who had been recommended by the school, spent time in jail in Alaska.
Having some fun looking at mugshots of pervs. I searched for those in our current town.
There was my neighbor...the one mentioned above. He had been convicted, on two occasions, of some pretty heinous crimes back in MA.
I showed my husband. His first comment was "I'm not plowing their drive-way anymore".
After we discussed it a bit, we decided he will still plow their drive-way. Also we will still extend the same courtesy's that we have been. We'll also be much more likely to continue to find some excuse not to join them for an evening of cards and drinks.
The guy has served his time, is old and in poor health (not that that should matter.
Just curious, what would you do?
Edited, Dec 15th 2008 5:38pm by Elinda
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Elinda wrote:
Just curious, what would you do?
If anything gave serious suspicion about re-offending I'd report him, as I would anyone. In the absence of that, I admire your humanity.
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Yeah, I'd probably treat him the same, with the exception of greater, quiet scrutiny on my part. And a whole heap of silently judging. 
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Lady Tare wrote:
silently judging
Lady Tare wrote:
Yeah, I'd probably treat him the same, with the exception of greater, quiet scrutiny on my part.
/nod
Even if he was housebound and in frail health, I wouldn't allow my children to visit.
Mindel has done a lot of silent judging in her day.
Just as Planned.
Accidentally plow his bedroom when there's lots of ice on the ground.
Elinda wrote:
Just curious, what would you do?
What I have done is extend them courtesy and friendship. But then the people I extended friendship to were not convicted of the worst kinds of crimes. I would behave differently for sexual crimes, being friendly enough but keeping a clear distance.
All I will say is that former convicts pay in so many ways its almost cruel to rub salt in the wounds.
I'm going to just put out there that I'm incredibly biased first. I would be polite but I would not be warm with them. I would cut back my visits and I would make sure that I do no allow my children around him, I might even go so far as to warn other parents in the area. I wouldn't plaster a great big sign in his yard but I would let people know. I know someone is going to say, "but he did his time". I don't care. If it was one of those where it was back when he was 20 and slept with a 16 year old I'd totally act differently but because she described the crimes you bet I'm going to judge them.
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
All I will say is that former convicts pay in so many ways its almost cruel to rub salt in the wounds.
Eh, I would say that nothing we could do to a real sexual offender would ever equal the pain he/she caused their victims. Again, I take this very personal.
Katielynn wrote:
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
All I will say is that former convicts pay in so many ways its almost cruel to rub salt in the wounds.
Eh, I would say that nothing we could do to a real sexual offender would ever equal the pain he/she caused their victims. Again, I take this very personal.
Katielynn,
I would keep a clear distance from those who have committed the worst crimes. A rapist or paedophile I would keep at a clear distance and I would also ensure those with families in the area knew about them.
You summed it up well when you said about the example of someone who was 20 sleeping with a 16 year old. Not all crimes are black and white and the person I knew suffered from a similar situation. They suffered in every aspect of their life from the conviction and will till the day they die. The punishment did not fit the crime in reality.
Sometimes its all too easy to join the mob mentality and sometimes the label does not fit.
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
Katielynn wrote:
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
All I will say is that former convicts pay in so many ways its almost cruel to rub salt in the wounds.
Eh, I would say that nothing we could do to a real sexual offender would ever equal the pain he/she caused their victims. Again, I take this very personal.
Katielynn,
I would keep a clear distance from those who have committed the worst crimes. A rapist or paedophile I would keep at a clear distance and I would also ensure those with families in the area knew about them.
You summed it up well when you said about the example of someone who was 20 sleeping with a 16 year old. Not all crimes are black and white and the person I knew suffered from a similar situation. They suffered in every aspect of their life from the conviction and will till the day they die. The punishment did not fit the crime in reality.
Sometimes its all too easy to join the mob mentality and sometimes the label does not fit.
A guy I went to school with probably would have graduated valedictorian if he hadn't been charged with a sex crime for sleeping with his 15 year old girl friend. Instead he was kicked out and had to go get his GED. Total waste of a perfectly good life because he will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
That kind of thing makes me sad that we judge it in black and white but the kind of thing Elinda is describing is very black and that guy deserves all the bad karma the world can give him.
Katielynn wrote:
That kind of thing makes me sad that we judge it in black and white but the kind of thing Elinda is describing is very black and that guy deserves all the bad karma the world can give him.
I think he is finding that right now. I doubt many will be mourning him when he dies.
Just for the record I'm all for castration for certain types as a matter of course when convicted ...
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
Katielynn wrote:
That kind of thing makes me sad that we judge it in black and white but the kind of thing Elinda is describing is very black and that guy deserves all the bad karma the world can give him.
I think he is finding that right now. I doubt many will be mourning him when he dies.
Just for the record I'm all for castration for certain types as a matter of course when convicted ...
Castration would not stop most "real" sex offenders. It is not a sexual urge that drives them but a dominance thing. Even if they had no ***** they would still find a way. There are many other forms of sexual offenses that do not need ***** to ******/oral/****. It might cure a few but it wouldn't stop most.
I feel sad for the sexual offenders who get screwed for consensual sex. That and female teachers who've slept with their students.
That's about it though. ^^
That's about it though. ^^
Dear people I don't like: 凸(â—´―｀â—)凸
Deadgye wrote:
That and female teachers who've slept with their students.
Why do you feel sorry for these teachers?
Katielynn wrote:
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
Katielynn wrote:
That kind of thing makes me sad that we judge it in black and white but the kind of thing Elinda is describing is very black and that guy deserves all the bad karma the world can give him.
I think he is finding that right now. I doubt many will be mourning him when he dies.
Just for the record I'm all for castration for certain types as a matter of course when convicted ...
Castration would not stop most "real" sex offenders. It is not a sexual urge that drives them but a dominance thing. Even if they had no ***** they would still find a way. There are many other forms of sexual offenses that do not need ***** to ******/oral/****. It might cure a few but it wouldn't stop most.
Sorry, pet peeve of mine: Please stop using the term "sex offender" and "sexual predator" interchangeably. A guy who pissed in public is a sex offender in some states. I don't think we need to use his skin as a lampshade. Also, castration doesn't involve removal of the *****.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Deadgye wrote:
That and female teachers who've slept with their students.
Why do you feel sorry for these teachers?
I second that. Thats abuse of position.
Katielynn wrote:
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
All I will say is that former convicts pay in so many ways its almost cruel to rub salt in the wounds.
Eh, I would say that nothing we could do to a real sexual offender would ever equal the pain he/she caused their victims. Again, I take this very personal.
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Deadgye wrote:
That and female teachers who've slept with their students.
Why do you feel sorry for these teachers?
I'm assuming the males are at least 15-16 years of age, at which they'd be all for it. It's all situational though, I'm sure there's plenty of cases where I'd be on one side and penty of cases where I'd be on the other.
Dear people I don't like: 凸(â—´―｀â—)凸
Deadgye wrote:
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Deadgye wrote:
That and female teachers who've slept with their students.
Why do you feel sorry for these teachers?
I'm assuming the males are at least 15-16 years of age, at which they'd be all for it. It's all situational though, I'm sure there's plenty of cases where I'd be on one side and penty of cases where I'd be on the other.
It doesn't matter if the guys are "all for it." It's still an abuse of position, and the guy is still a minor.
Deadgye wrote:
I'm assuming the males are at least 15-16 years of age, at which they'd be all for it
I should not laugh but well done for living up to stereotypes and everything.
On a serious note. A teacher is in a position of trust and a school is a place that should be safe to send your children.
Breaking that trust is bad enough, breaking it with a sex act is worse still. I have no sympathy for Teachers breaking the law by having intercourse with their pupils.
Breaking that trust is bad enough, breaking it with a sex act is worse still. I have no sympathy for Teachers breaking the law by having intercourse with their pupils.
Oh, and to answer the question, I would treat them exactly the same as I always had if I didn't determine them to be dangerous in any way. The guy that comes in your house and does your plumbing could have shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, but we don't have murderer registries so you'll never know. Maybe your babysitter was convicted of stealing a bunch of **** at her last job, or slapping babies willy nilly, but you'll never know because we don't have thief registries or assault registries. Maybe the guy you're going out with next weekend has beat the ever loving crap out of every girl he's ever dated, but again...who knows...However, if anything he did had a sexual component...he can do 20 years and it won't be enough, he'll never be able to get away from it, no matter his regrets or his rehabilitation or his efforts to make amends...he could build houses for habitat for humanity after working 60 hours a week to take care of his wife and family for the rest of his life. It will never be enough for us in this society at this time. We want him crucified. It makes me sick.
For me, there is such a thing as "doing your time" and a punishment fitting a crime. And remember, the registry isn't about punitive damages, it's to "protect us" though it's never been shown to do any such thing and in some cases, studies show that it makes us LESS safe as parents rely more heavily on the government to parent for us. Mostly, it's just a sick ******* way to spy on your neighbors and feel superior in judgment and situation. Let's just go back to stoning people to death.
Nexa
For me, there is such a thing as "doing your time" and a punishment fitting a crime. And remember, the registry isn't about punitive damages, it's to "protect us" though it's never been shown to do any such thing and in some cases, studies show that it makes us LESS safe as parents rely more heavily on the government to parent for us. Mostly, it's just a sick ******* way to spy on your neighbors and feel superior in judgment and situation. Let's just go back to stoning people to death.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Nexa wrote:
Katielynn wrote:
GwynapNud the Eccentric wrote:
Katielynn wrote:
That kind of thing makes me sad that we judge it in black and white but the kind of thing Elinda is describing is very black and that guy deserves all the bad karma the world can give him.
I think he is finding that right now. I doubt many will be mourning him when he dies.
Just for the record I'm all for castration for certain types as a matter of course when convicted ...
Castration would not stop most "real" sex offenders. It is not a sexual urge that drives them but a dominance thing. Even if they had no ***** they would still find a way. There are many other forms of sexual offenses that do not need ***** to ******/oral/****. It might cure a few but it wouldn't stop most.
Sorry, pet peeve of mine: Please stop using the term "sex offender" and "sexual predator" interchangeably. A guy who pissed in public is a sex offender in some states. I don't think we need to use his skin as a lampshade. Also, castration doesn't involve removal of the *****.
Nexa
That would be why I put "real" there. We've already discussed how we believe the system is flawed. As to the castration you're right.
Hooray Nexa, Katie is a cnut, etc.
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