I devised this in a drunken stupor after reading innumerable posts. Granted, it has limited applicability, but I think it could save a handful of posters an awful lot of typing. Simply copy and paste into any and all responses.
Standard Reply Template:
Dear poster, you fu%^ing ******!!!
I either did not understand or I disagree with your position. Instead of asking you to clarify or offering actual counter arguments I have decided to engage in personal attacks. This elucidates my immeasurable emotional and intellectual depth of character. I shall now pick apart your post and drone on and on about some inane dribble that purports to establish my vast superiority to you in any and every conceivable criteria. Now go die in a fire you fackin' ******!
Short Version:
I'm right, you're wrong.
I'm smart, you're dumb.
Go die in a fire,
You fackin' ******.