Serious question, no satire or ulterior motive to it: Seeing how his father abandoned him at an early age, and left his mother for several other wives, why didn't Obama have his name legally changed to something more... mainstream? He evidently wished for that in his formative years. I have often joked about how he called himself Barry through college, which suggests to me he did not want to call attention to his foreign name, nor his parentage.
Many women revert back to their maiden name upon divorce, but the trauma of having a father reject you would be that much more intense and painful, particularly for a young man. Why keep a reminder of a man who embodies everything I can imagine you would despise and abhor? It would seem a natural reaction to me to see Barack Hussein Obama legally change his name to his grandparents. Yet he didn't.
Any thoughts?
Totem
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- Question for you people from one parent families
Question for you people from one parent familiesFollow
Really, the only one who could answer that is Obama himself. I wouldn't attempt to speak for him and I hope no one else would.
Also, let me says thats not a copout. I kept my fathers last name because it was my name. Regardless of who raised me.
Edited, Aug 29th 2008 12:22pm by Kaelesh
Also, let me says thats not a copout. I kept my fathers last name because it was my name. Regardless of who raised me.
Edited, Aug 29th 2008 12:22pm by Kaelesh
I can't speak for the abandoned, but of the people I know whose dads walked out on them, none of them took their mothers' maiden names unless Mom made that decision for them when they were babies.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
My last name is inherited from a father who I later found out was a surrogate - my mother left my real father when she got pregnant because he was abusive. I never really changed my name because it's been my identity since birth, and I don't have any resentment towards it.
On the other hand, my kid sister's father, who has been practically non-existent in her life and is an ex-con / drug addict / you name it, fought long and hard with his mother's money to have my sister's given last name hyphenated with his own last name shortly after her birth. My sister hates it, and you can bet your *** that some day, it will be changed, but I don't know if there's any time frame or pressure to do so atm; she's only 14.
The fact that Obama didn't change his last name tells me that despite any disdain he may harbor for his father not being present, I think it's just part of his identity and he's willing to accept that.
Edited, Aug 29th 2008 12:24pm by BrownDuck
On the other hand, my kid sister's father, who has been practically non-existent in her life and is an ex-con / drug addict / you name it, fought long and hard with his mother's money to have my sister's given last name hyphenated with his own last name shortly after her birth. My sister hates it, and you can bet your *** that some day, it will be changed, but I don't know if there's any time frame or pressure to do so atm; she's only 14.
The fact that Obama didn't change his last name tells me that despite any disdain he may harbor for his father not being present, I think it's just part of his identity and he's willing to accept that.
Edited, Aug 29th 2008 12:24pm by BrownDuck
Besides, can you imagine the ********* we'd have right now if he HAD changed it?
"He's trying to hide his Muslim rootz0rs!!1!1!11!!!1!one"
"He's trying to hide his Muslim rootz0rs!!1!1!11!!!1!one"
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
I kept my father's name despite him being out of my life for large amounts of time because I knew it would come in handy when bartering for meth and strippers.
My parents divorced when I was 12 and my brother was 16. My mom kept her married name, and neither my brother nor I changed our last names.
My brother actually wanted to live with my dad and he said no, then proceeded to change the locks on him when he would go try to visit my dad. A decade later, my dad decided that he did want to talk to us, as magnanimous as he is, and he and my brother are good friends now.
Honestly, it never occurred to me that we could change our names, and I think that my brother always loved my dad and hoped that he'd change his mind at some point.
Like Kaelesh said, I can't speak for Obama, but it wouldn't surprise me if he figured it was the only thing his dad gave him, and hoped for a reconciliation one day. Of course, I don't know the specifics about Obama, so this may sound ignorant. Wouldn't be the first time.
My brother actually wanted to live with my dad and he said no, then proceeded to change the locks on him when he would go try to visit my dad. A decade later, my dad decided that he did want to talk to us, as magnanimous as he is, and he and my brother are good friends now.
Honestly, it never occurred to me that we could change our names, and I think that my brother always loved my dad and hoped that he'd change his mind at some point.
Like Kaelesh said, I can't speak for Obama, but it wouldn't surprise me if he figured it was the only thing his dad gave him, and hoped for a reconciliation one day. Of course, I don't know the specifics about Obama, so this may sound ignorant. Wouldn't be the first time.
I'm have my ******* stepfather's last name. Realistically, I'm used to it. It's my name. It has very little to do with him anymore.
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
I have often wondered about this and how it affects him and how he perceives the world. He doesn't speak to it much, and what little he does is fairly non-descript almost to the point of being a non-answer.
No political skew to this, but abandonment as a little boy must surely have a momentous impact on him as a grown man. Surprisingly (at least to me), there is little discussion about this.
It would, in part, explain some of his connections with more... radical... elements of society, such as Ayers or Wright. Again, not to politicize this, but the desire for a sense of belonging or unconditional acceptance could readily explain why he was drawn to fringe groups, groups/individuals that prey on people seeking inclusion.
We don't have any psychotherapists or psychologists on this board, do we?
Totem
No political skew to this, but abandonment as a little boy must surely have a momentous impact on him as a grown man. Surprisingly (at least to me), there is little discussion about this.
It would, in part, explain some of his connections with more... radical... elements of society, such as Ayers or Wright. Again, not to politicize this, but the desire for a sense of belonging or unconditional acceptance could readily explain why he was drawn to fringe groups, groups/individuals that prey on people seeking inclusion.
We don't have any psychotherapists or psychologists on this board, do we?
Totem
His involvement with radical politics have been greatly exaggerated by the right. His politics are very much in the mainstream of the democratic part.
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
Anna is a MSW, I think, closest we've got as far as I know.
Whatever the impact, better get used to it as going forward practically all of our choices will be from blended and/or broken families.
'S just the way the world is these days, Totes.
Whatever the impact, better get used to it as going forward practically all of our choices will be from blended and/or broken families.
'S just the way the world is these days, Totes.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Totem wrote:
It would, in part, explain some of his connections with more... radical... elements of society, such as Ayers or Wright. Again, not to politicize this, but the desire for a sense of belonging or unconditional acceptance could readily explain why he was drawn to fringe groups, groups/individuals that prey on people seeking inclusion.
I could certainly see that being a factor, personally. I know when I was in high school I was hardly my own person, just wanting to be liked, so I would flit from social circle to social circle agreeing with whatever they said in an attempt to form a common bond and have them like me.
Didn't do me a whole lot of good, as I left high school with only two good, close friends and I now look back on high school as a period of my life better forgotten. I went to college with the plan to be my own person, form my own opinions and let them be heard, and I found that I made more friends that way.
Very true, Sammy. Clue me in though. What's a MSW? Something-social worker?
Totem
Totem
It's a degree, master's in social work or some such. Hell, ask Annabella.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Can't speak for Obama but I think my dad was a dick but I've never felt any urge to change my name.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Totem wrote:
Any thoughts?
That you're not a Johnny Cash fan.
Totem wrote:
abandonment as a little boy must surely have a momentous impact on him as a grown man.
Or, possibly more likely, he's come to terms with it and it's a non-issue.
Seriously a lot of kids refer to themselves by different names or different spellings "No, that's Jenni with an I. With a heart over it." or hate their names as children and then grow up to embrace them.
I think there's probably very little talk about it because, in comparison to all of the other issues on the table this is a non-issue entirely. I think you're reading way more into this than there is. Almost like you hope there is... hey waitaminute!
Celcio wrote:
stuff
Hey, I remember you!
I think it made him a better father. He obviously adores his little girls, and one of his pet issues is the lack of fatherhood figures among blacks and father abandonment. He used the example of his dad as what NOT to do.
Celcio wrote:
Totem wrote:
abandonment as a little boy must surely have a momentous impact on him as a grown man.
Or, possibly more likely, he's come to terms with it and it's a non-issue.
Seriously a lot of kids refer to themselves by different names or different spellings "No, that's Jenni with an I. With a heart over it." or hate their names as children and then grow up to embrace them.
I think there's probably very little talk about it because, in comparison to all of the other issues on the table this is a non-issue entirely. I think you're reading way more into this than there is. Almost like you hope there is... hey waitaminute!
It's so funny you mentioned that example, Celcio! For years I dated a girl who was "Molli with an i." No great stress there; there was just another Molly a year older than her (exact same first and last name, no family connection), so this Molly became a Molli instead. More than ten years later she's still "Molli with an i" on everything unless she needs to use her "legal" Molly name.
And I agree a lot of kids refer to themselves differently. On a hunt through a memory box from my childhood last year, I dug out some old stuff I had done back in first grade. I was really shocked to find myself named as "Allan." It was my middle name, and apparently there was a period in my life where I wanted to be a rebel. Glad I got over that by the time I was 7!
For all the talk of how people in single-parent households are screwed up, I think a remarkable amount of them have adjusted just fine to it. We just hear about the people who freak out and have mental issues because, hey, normalcy is boring and breakdowns get higher ratings and keep psychiatrists in business. Names mean more to some than others, and Obama is probably ok with his.
Edit: Molli also wrote with a heart over the "i" for all of high school, another reason why I loled at Celcio's example.
Edited, Aug 29th 2008 3:24pm by LockeColeMA
Do you have ANY idea how long it takes to perfect a signature? He'd be years behind in his political career if he'd had to start all over again!
Seriously though, it's just a pain in the rear to change your name. Probably just never got around to it, or it just doesn't bother him.
Seriously though, it's just a pain in the rear to change your name. Probably just never got around to it, or it just doesn't bother him.
I am named after my father. I generally saw my dad as a douchebag, I don't know how my mom felt at the time but I bet the feeling was similar, and I have had little contact with him since my parents divorced (I have lived just with my mom for the majority of my life).
Regardless, neither I nor my mom ended up taking any different names. I don't think it really crossed either of our minds. I can't speak for her, but from my point of view, a name isn't really anything special. It's more trivial than the clothes I wear, and to me, those are already pretty damned trivial.
Regardless, neither I nor my mom ended up taking any different names. I don't think it really crossed either of our minds. I can't speak for her, but from my point of view, a name isn't really anything special. It's more trivial than the clothes I wear, and to me, those are already pretty damned trivial.
I am definitely not an Obama fan, but I defend him every time someone talks about how he went by "Barry" in his earlier years.
It's not that uncommon for someone with a foreign name to take a domestic name similar to it. I knew a guy born in Japan who was named Sasuke who made his nickname "Sam". It's just easier for people to remember in this country. Of course now that he is in politics, no one is going to be forgetting his name, so it doesn't matter.
As for the last name, I don't know.
It's not that uncommon for someone with a foreign name to take a domestic name similar to it. I knew a guy born in Japan who was named Sasuke who made his nickname "Sam". It's just easier for people to remember in this country. Of course now that he is in politics, no one is going to be forgetting his name, so it doesn't matter.
As for the last name, I don't know.
A friend of mine from Korea was Ru Bi and she changed it to Ruby when she got her official citizenship.
catwho, pet mage of Jabober wrote:
A friend of mine from Korea was Ru Bi and she changed it to Ruby when she got her official citizenship.
That's quite a change. Did she have any trouble adjusting?
Totem wrote:
parentage.
Many women revert back to their maiden name upon divorce, but the trauma of having a father reject you would be that much more intense and painful, particularly for a young man. Why keep a reminder of a man who embodies everything I can imagine you would despise and abhor?
Many women revert back to their maiden name upon divorce, but the trauma of having a father reject you would be that much more intense and painful, particularly for a young man. Why keep a reminder of a man who embodies everything I can imagine you would despise and abhor?
Not everyone invests their personal sense of identity in their name.
My maiden name had nothing to do with my actual parentage. The guy was the man my mother married when she was pregnant with my older sister and just happened to still be married to when she had me (her husband was not my father, I believe he was in prison at the time.)
So when I got married the first time, I took my husband's name, and when we divorced, I kept his name. Why? Because my maiden name was no more "mine" than my married name was, so why go through the trouble of changing the name on my social security card, my checking account, my utility bills, my drivers license, etc etc etc.
Neither name had anything to do with who I was. It was just a name. "A rose by any other name..." yadda yadda yadda.
Recent Visitors: 267
All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (267)
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- Question for you people from one parent families
© 2024 Fanbyte LLC