Forum Settings
       
« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

QuandryFollow

#1 Aug 12 2008 at 8:46 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Something non-political to discuss:

Premise: People seem to largely agree that children would benefit from greater interaction with male role models in their lives. Especially with the prevalance of single family homes, often with a mother as the sole active parent, child interactions with male role models proves all the more important.

Issue: Society discourages males from showing any active interest in children other than their own. Media obsession with abductions, pedophilia (is that word still filtered?) and other misconduct has cast a shroud of suspicion over men who show the same interest in children which we find acceptable in women. There is a marked contrast in reaction, for example, betweem a solitary male who smiles at a child playing in a park and a female who does the same. Consequently, men are discouraged from becoming teachers (especially at the pre-high school level), counselors, trainers or other tasks which would put them into positive contact with young children. Perhaps worse, males are denied opportunities to build their own parenting skills before they become parents. Unlike females, males are often considered a risk as baby-sitters, coaches or other tasks which build care-giving skills at a younger age. When they are, it's less often to children of the opposite gender.

Thoughts? Brilliant solutions?


The above is largely anecdotal and from observation. If you want to argue it, knock yourself out.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#3REDACTED, Posted: Aug 12 2008 at 8:53 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) society doesnt discourage men from taking an active role in THEIR OWN children.
#4 Aug 12 2008 at 8:54 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts
I think that is a pretty accurate summation of how things look about now (editing to add that is to Joph and not anywhere near Shadows idiotic rambling). I never even knew about males being discouraged from taking on an elementary teaching position until my son was in kindergarten and the topic came up on a mother forum I frequent. I find it sad.

First and foremost, male family members of a single mom stepping in to help fill the role of a missing dad would be a tremendous help while almost ridding the issue of concern. It's a shame we dont have the village raising a child concept anymore in our society, for if we did, this wouldnt be as big of an issue as it is now.

Getting into sports coaching would help kids have a mentor to look up to. Volenteering at the local Y. Tutoring. All of these I believe do local background checks which help alleviate anxiety of parents.

The fear parents may initially have of men when working with small children goes out the window once they see a man in a volenteer position do wonders for their child. You can not get rid of the initial apprehension. But by males getting more active in the area it forces people to rethink their thoughts. You will always have bad apples in the mix, be it male or female. But the more males that get out there and show society men are not evil creatures when it comes to kids not their own offspring, the more accepting it would be.



Edited, Aug 12th 2008 12:56pm by DSD
#6 Aug 12 2008 at 8:57 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Mistress DSD wrote:
(editing to add that is to Joph and not anywhere near Shadows idiotic rambling)
The good news is that we got the two stupidest people's opinions out of the way right out of the box Smiley: laugh

Two points of note for the Bobbsey Twins up above:
(A) There is an obvious benefit for children to have more male role models than simply their father.
(B) Part of my question related to learning to become a good parent -- something we encourage young women to participate in but discourage young males.

Edited, Aug 12th 2008 11:59am by Jophiel
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#8 Aug 12 2008 at 8:59 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts
Jophiel wrote:
Mistress DSD wrote:
(editing to add that is to Joph and not anywhere near Shadows idiotic rambling)
The good news is that we got the two stupidest people's opinions out of the way right out of the box Smiley: laugh


I hope the other stupid one you are referring to is Varus and not myself Smiley: frown
#9 Aug 12 2008 at 9:01 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Mistress DSD wrote:
I hope the other stupid one you are referring to is Varus and not myself Smiley: frown
Mais oui, Mademoiselle.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Aug 12 2008 at 9:01 AM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,781 posts
Solutions - well lots.

I suppose solving the whole societal issue of sexual perversion could help.

There are organizations (the Big Brother program comes to mind) that encourage male mentoring of youngsters. I think having an accredited organization backing a relationship could help assuage some of the sceptism.

And then the practical stuff: Stay within the public eye, don't do things that could be suspect (pats on the butt, hugs) even though they are completely innocent and maybe even seemingly necessary at the moment.

I'd argue that the whole male pedophile scare has seriously changed the order of things.

Personally, when my kids were young my main baby-sitter was a boy, his brother was our alternate. Lol, I never suspected him of any foul play about our house. He did however, recieve local infamy for knockin-up the police-chiefs daughter when the two were seniors in high school.

There never really was an over abundance of men teachers in the primary grades. I can't think of any in my OLD school career before I reached 4th grade. Im not convinced there are fewer now.

I'd also question any adult that took an overly personal interest in any particular child for no apparent reason.

Mostly though I'm only suspicious of Catholic Priests;)

____________________________
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#12 Aug 12 2008 at 9:04 AM Rating: Good
Soulless Internet Tiger
******
35,474 posts
Mistress DSD wrote:
I never even knew about males being discouraged from taking on an elementary teaching position until my son was in kindergarten and the topic came up on a mother forum I frequent. I find it sad.
Neither did I and was about to dispute it when I realized that in kindergarten, there were like 5 male sin the whole school, with at least 2 classes for every grade 1-6. Then there were about 6 male teachers for 7 subjects 7-9, again, 2 classes. Highschool, took a significant jump and most of the male teachers had seniority.
____________________________
Donate. One day it could be your family.


An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo

#13 Aug 12 2008 at 9:04 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts
Quote:
(B) Part of my question related to learning to become a good parent -- something we encourage young women to participate in but discourage young males.

Hmmm, I might have to disagree with this. It may have been true in the past, but more and more fathers are expected to step up and not be just a 5pm and weekend daddy, but to play a very active role in their kids lives. Maybe its the circle of people I am around, but a lot of fathers jump to this challenge and thrive.


There are parenting classes available for both moms and dads which help teach teamwork communication, offer local resources for things to do as a family, and being effective in teaching and discipline as a parent. It would be interesting if they made these more common, or even (I shy away from saying mandatory but highly suggested maybe?) for new parents, as well as offering it every couple of years depending on the age and stage of the children
#14 Aug 12 2008 at 9:06 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Elinda wrote:
There never really was an over abundance of men teachers in the primary grades. I can't think of any in my OLD school career before I reached 4th grade. Im not convinced there are fewer now.
Purely own experience but from 1-6th, I had three (1st, 5th & 6th).

When I took a pedagogy class, the dearth of males willing to join into the academic system below the high school level was a common theme. Even at the high school level, I believe most enter as history or science instructors. Now granted much of that may simply be a lack of interest on the part of men who want to take up teaching to instruct seven year olds. But I do think there's a bias steering them away from the profession.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Aug 12 2008 at 9:08 AM Rating: Good
Gurue
*****
16,299 posts
The "all men are child-molesting freaks" scare will hopefully run its course and die out soon. Of course, that doesn't help things right now.

I'm not paranoid about men that want to be around children. And luckily, there seem to still be plenty of males that want to participate in children's lives where I live. My son is playing football now, and he has one of the best coaching teams there is for his age group. These men are doing a great job with all the boys and as far as I can tell, only one parent has been upset, and that's because the coach won't let her little darling be quarterback, haha.
#16 Aug 12 2008 at 9:08 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Mistress DSD wrote:
I might have to disagree with this. It may have been true in the past, but more and more fathers are expected to step up and not be just a 5pm and weekend daddy, but to play a very active role in their kids lives.
I meant before becoming parents themselves. A young teen girl spending time with young children is viewed with less suspicion than a young teen boy.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#17 Aug 12 2008 at 9:09 AM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,781 posts
Jophiel wrote:
[quote=Elinda] But I do think there's a bias steering them away from the profession.
Could be.

Anyone ever encounter male day-care workers?
____________________________
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#18 Aug 12 2008 at 9:12 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts
Jophiel wrote:
Elinda wrote:
There never really was an over abundance of men teachers in the primary grades. I can't think of any in my OLD school career before I reached 4th grade. Im not convinced there are fewer now.
Purely own experience but from 1-6th, I had three (1st, 5th & 6th).

When I took a pedagogy class, the dearth of males willing to join into the academic system below the high school level was a common theme. Even at the high school level, I believe most enter as history or science instructors. Now granted much of that may simply be a lack of interest on the part of men who want to take up teaching to instruct seven year olds. But I do think there's a bias steering them away from the profession.


There is. After finding out how much men are "shunned" as an elementary teacher from the mother group here, I asked my mom to verify it, her being a teacher in elementary level for 35 years. She agreed that men are pretty much directed to go the route of middle school or high school, and are never really accepted if they do become an elementary school teacher.



growing up we had a first grade teacher who was a guy and all the kids wanted him as their teacher. he was awesome! Every friday all the kids would gather and he would pull out his guitar and sing silly songs for 30 minutes. I remember all of us being jealous of those who had him as their teacher because he wasnt the normal teacher. He liked having fun, getting dirty and playing with the paint and clay with the kids, very hands on, while the rest of the first grade teachers just stood there directing and handing out paper towels every 15 seconds.

I think back to this teacher and realize how important he was as a rolemodel to kids whether or not they had a dad in the picture. he showed us that even grown ups can have fun while teaching. I guess I wish there were more guys with the balls to go against the grain of society and get involved.
#19 Aug 12 2008 at 9:13 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
******
29,360 posts
Elinda wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
[quote=Elinda] But I do think there's a bias steering them away from the profession.
Could be.

Anyone ever encounter male day-care workers?


Only the (retired) husband of a day care owner.

Thinking back, the first male teacher I had was in 7th grade.
____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#20 Aug 12 2008 at 9:16 AM Rating: Good
Gurue
*****
16,299 posts
I can remember a male teacher in 4th grade. And I think every grade past that. Maybe they were just being defiant though. =D
#21 Aug 12 2008 at 9:18 AM Rating: Good
There's only one male daycare worker at our center where we take our kids, but all the kids love him.
#22REDACTED, Posted: Aug 12 2008 at 9:22 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) you are barking up the wrong tree.
#23 Aug 12 2008 at 9:23 AM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,781 posts
Mistress DSD wrote:
She agreed that men are pretty much directed to go the route of middle school or high school, and are never really accepted if they do become an elementary school teacher.
I can't quite understand how they are directed. Certainly within their 'Education' education the would-be teachers learn the pros and cons of teaching different groups of kids. And perhaps some men might be chased off by the prospect of a lawsuit. If so, however you have to wonder how comitted they were. They may be just as scared off by the prospect of having to deal with a kid that just pooped his pants.

I'm certainly not convinced that the small percentage of men as primary grade teachers has changed significantly. If there is some proof to suggest it, I could probably buy into the reason as being, at least, partially due to the pedophile paranoia.
____________________________
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#24 Aug 12 2008 at 9:23 AM Rating: Decent
***
2,453 posts
knoxsouthy wrote:
Mistress,

Quote:
I hope the other stupid one you are referring to is Varus and not myself


If you have to ask..

Edited, Aug 12th 2008 1:00pm by knoxsouthy


She probably (and very wisely) has her filter set at a point, above which, you shall never rise. Thus, she does not see your post.
#25 Aug 12 2008 at 9:31 AM Rating: Good
*****
14,454 posts

Quote:
I can't quite understand how they are directed. Certainly within their 'Education' education the would-be teachers learn the pros and cons of teaching different groups of kids. And perhaps some men might be chased off by the prospect of a lawsuit. If so, however you have to wonder how comitted they were. They may be just as scared off by the prospect of having to deal with a kid that just pooped his pants.


From what she said it starts when a male decides to go into school for education, that it is just strongly suggested by their teachers their best bet is in middle or high school careers. And within the school itself, male teachers are just never fully accepted by their peers. It makes for a tough road for those who think about teaching as a career, and most men opt for the road that is less hard to travel.

Quote:
I'm certainly not convinced that the small percentage of men as primary grade teachers has changed significantly.


I dont think the small percentage has changed but I think thats what this thread is getting at. There has been and probably will be drastically smaller portion of teachers who are male and that in itself is a shame when you are looking for male rolemodels

Edited, Aug 12th 2008 1:28pm by DSD
#26 Aug 12 2008 at 9:33 AM Rating: Good
Elinda wrote:

Anyone ever encounter male day-care workers?


I went to a day care joint when I was a little kid, and we had one male counselor.

Turned out he was molesting little girls. No kidding.

We went on a field trip once, for a day in the park, and I was in the vehicle he was driving. We stopped by his house, and he an a little girl disappeared for awhile. I was way too young to know something was up, but apparently he molested the girl while the rest of us ate cookies in his kitchen. Then we went to the park.

I had a friend whose male cousin would babysit him. He used to ********** in front of him.

I s'pose my anecdotal evidence would lend credence to the idea that men shouldn't be around kids.

Of course, I had a female high school teacher who had sex with one of her students, too.

In conclusion, children would be safest if we shipped them off to an island until they turned eighteen, like Lord of the Flies but with less sodomy.



« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 344 All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (344)