Is it really THAT big of a deal???Follow

Sex does not equal intimacy and intimacy does not equal sex...though the two *can* be used to signify such if a person *wants* them to. It's deeply personal for everyone. I think that's the point he was making. If you need sex for intimacy, or intimacy for sex, that's you. I've certainly had sex without intimacy and intimacy without sex.

Nexa

Intimacy is a tool best used to trick women into sleeping with you. I'll be holding a weekend seminar at the airport Ramada next month if anyone's interested.

The main problem with romanticizing sex, as I see it, is that the tendency to do so is so divided based on gender. Girls are much more likely to be inundated with the message that sex=love and that you should only have sex with your "true love" and all that nonsense so that in their developing minds, sex and love become inextricably intertwined to the point that even when they can logically distinguish between the two, they can't psychologically. Obviously, this causes all sorts of problems.

Nexa

Not necessarily, and usually it is perfectly fine. The issue is not with romanticizing sex, but with not realizing it is being romanticized.

That's been my entire point this time. It can be beneficial to accept contrivances and illusions, but it is important to always recognize them as such.

No one is right or wrong in their perspective of what sex equals. Everyone looks at it in different angles. As I stated previously there are also different kinds of sex.


Sex does not have to have emotional intimacy involved. That's what one night stands, a quickie, or even just a good fuck are all about. It has little to do with the emotional ties it sometimes has, and more to do with the physical attraction, lust and relase one gets with sex.
However, if sex didnt involve intimacy on some level for both people in a relationship, then seeking sex outside the marriage bed or relationship bed, would not cause the other person to bat an eye. Since it does, I can only surmise that each person has put emotional ties into the act of sex itself.

So stop being idiots and trying to look at sex as black and white. It isnt, and nothing in life ever is. It's all dependant on the persons involved and the circumstances in which it takes place.

No one is right or wrong in their perspective of what sex equals.

Wrong. Something being complex doesn't make all viewpoints valid.


Everyone looks at it in different angles. As I stated previously there are also different kinds of sex.


Sex does not have to have emotional intimacy involved. That's what one night stands, a quickie, or even just a good **** are all about. It has little to do with the emotional ties it sometimes has, and more to do with the physical attraction, lust and relase one gets with sex.
However, if sex didnt involve intimacy on some level for both people in a relationship, then seeking sex outside the marriage bed or relationship bed, would not cause the other person to bat an eye. Since it does, I can only surmise that each person has put emotional ties into the act of sex itself.


No, you can only surmise that society has placed value on it as such. As they have with, say, money. Someone would be bothered if their spouse gave a stranger a large sum of money. Oh, gee, I guess money is tied to intimacy!

THINK.




So stop being idiots and trying to look at sex as black and white. It isnt, and nothing in life ever is. It's all dependant on the persons involved and the circumstances in which it takes place.

Blah blabh balh. "I don't understand it so no one ever can! Horay! Let's all hold hands nad respect each other's arbitrary views. Oh wait, does hand holding tied to intimacy? Because if so, then we can't or someone will be upset. It's not because it's an arbitrary social constcut, though, it's because hand holding is just so important and magical.

It does when it is something that can equate to such a personal thing. Again, it's all dependant on circumstance. It's not one size fits all, dumbass.




If society equals almost every single person on the planet, then duh.



Given the original topic, I think I understand a hell of a lot better than the average joe. It's one I'm quite confident about. As for the derail of whether sex equals intimacy or not, that's an argument that no one can win or lose, because sex can be viewed in a myriad of ways, clearly shown throughout this entire thread

While attitudes about sexuality are very clearly subjective, I think it's important to understand that they are not only not taught as such in our society, but that a single perception of sexuality is taught as being an ideal. What is more, this ideal is not one that *is* met by nearly anyone in the society, and even those who do meet it for some time, have experienced sexuality in other forms...forms that they feel guilty about for no reason other than that they were taught to...

...sorry, lost my train of thought, I have an irritating interrupting asshat on the phone...

I guess what I'm saying is that while it's all well and good to say that there are different perceptions of what equals sex or intimacy, that it's even more important to understand that these different perceptions of sexuality are social constructs that are usually based on some ideal that is not met by the overwhelming majority of members of society and is used as a standard to control the populace. The *ideal* of sex equaling intimacy and intimacy equaling sex is a control mechanism implanted in our youth for a variety of purposes and sexuality, being an essential part of our humanity, makes this technique as effective as controlling the food supply. When we ingrain in society rules about how things *should* be, it is far more effective than a ruling authority...self regulation being far more sustaining, cost effective, etc.

Nexa

you two should seriously take it to the bedroom

hell I dont care where you two go, just stop getting so damn intimate in here!!! We dont want any PDA going on that we're not involved in at least

and that's almost as attractive as you patting me on the head and telling me it's cute when I try to do math.

It's adorable, though!

It's a pleasant way of shirking my comments, but it's still doing so without a stated rationale, and it is still a fallacy.

I'm not making absolute statements, I'm rejecting the absolutes others have engendered, that sex is always a magical, intimate event. I'm saying sex can be something intimate and special if you wish it to be, but that is an addition you have tacked on, and not an innate quality.

Edited, Jun 2nd 2008 12:59am by Pride